Do Not Be An Enabler

We do not forgive to release ourselves from a burden. We forgive a repentant offender for the sake of the relationship. If we say we forgive for ourselves we are being self-absorbed. We ought to care more about the offender being cleansed from their sin than our own personal feelings.

We forgive someone who is repentant so that he/she can be restored to fellowship with us and with God. To "just let it go" to make ourselves feel better lacks empathy and concern for the offender whose life might be ruined because they have not learned to confess to God for forgiveness and to us for a restoration of our relationship.

We are to follow God's example with us;

Hebrews 12:5-9

"6 because the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son.”

Revelation 3:19 "19 Those I love, I rebuke and discipline. Therefore be earnest and repent."

Proverbs 13:24

"He who spares his rod hates his son, But he who loves him disciplines him promptly."

Discipline is a big part of loving others. Without it those who walk disobediently fall deeper and deeper into sin, even to the point of destroying themselves.

Ezekiel 3:18-19

"When I say to a wicked person, ‘You will surely die,’ and you do not warn them or speak out to dissuade them from their evil ways in order to save their life, that wicked person will die for their sin, and I will hold you accountable for their blood. But if you do warn the wicked person and they do not turn from their wickedness or from their evil ways, they will die for their sin; but you will have saved yourself."

We are to care so much about our Christian brothers and sisters that we are willing to lose them over the truth. If they don't want the truth that will save their life then there is nothing more we can do. Becoming more friendly only solidifies their choice and makes them comfortable with it. Then we become helpers, enablers in their sin.

Ephesians 5:6-8 "…6 Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of such things the wrath of God is coming on the sons of disobedience. 7 Therefore do not be partakers with them. 8 For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light,…"

Christ Changes, Christ Keeps and Christ Does all the Work

There are too many people now who think they are earning their way to heaven by following all the rules. They say they are saved by grace through faith in Christ but that they have to work at being good.

We do not work to be good, we work after we have been changed by Christ, this is a big difference. And, Christ does that work in us, we cannot take the credit for the good we do, the credit goes to Christ.

The doctrine of eternal security is not Calvinism. Calvin taught that no one had a choice to be born again, that some people were created to go to hell and some to go to heaven. He was an heretic.

When God changed us in response to our desire to be changed by Him, He made us into something opposite of what we were. We cannot nor do we want to turn back.

Born-again believers do not work at being different they are different, and they no longer think the way they used to think. Christ has changed them entirely from the inside. When Christ changes us we cannot change ourselves back, we are sealed with Christ.

We do not have to think about breathing, we do it without thinking, The same is true about born-again believers, we don't follow rules, because we already love the principles that brought the rules about. That is the mind of Christ Who is the Author of those rules.

We don't have to force ourselves not to steal because we don't want to, in fact, if we accidentally took something without realizing we quickly return it with big apologies. We hate sin and evil because Christ changed our hearts.

There is no need for laws and rules for born-again believers because they love and have the righteousness of Christ.

Galatians 5:22-24

"22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. 24 Now those who belong to Christ Jesus crucified the flesh with its passions and desires."

When we know Christ in us is what drives us to be what He wants us to be, we never take glory for ourselves.

Ephesians 1:13-14

"13 In Him, you also, after listening to the message of truth, the gospel of your salvation—having also [c]believed, you were sealed in Him with the Holy Spirit of the promise, 14 who is a first installment of our inheritance, in regard to the redemption of God’s own possession, to the praise of His glory."

2 Corinthians 5:17

"17 Therefore if anyone is in Christ, this person is a new creation; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come.

Those who turn back are pretenders who believe they are saved but never trusted Christ.

1 John 2:19-20 " 19 They went out from us, but they did not belong to us. For if they had belonged to us, they would have remained with us. But their departure made it clear that none of them belonged to us. 20 You, however, have an anointing from the Holy One, and all of you know the truth."

Anyone who thinks they are keeping their own salvation by their goodness is placing the onus of their salvation on themselves, this is salvation by works.

Ephesians 2:8-10 "…8 For it is by grace you have been saved through faith, and this not from yourselves; it is the gift of God, 9 not by works, so that no one can boast. 10For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance as our way of life.…"

We have no part in our own salvation, when we want to trust in Christ He does all the work in us, we have no power to save ourselves either by our works before salvation or after salvation.

Ephesians 1:13-14

13 In Him, you also, after listening to the message of truth, the gospel of your salvation—having also believed, you were sealed in Him with the Holy Spirit of the promise, 14 who is a first installment of our inheritance, in regard to the redemption of God’s own possession, to the praise of His glory.

Ephesians 2:10

"10 For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them."

My prayer is that those who think they must be "good enough" to earn heaven will come to trust Christ completely to save them, to keep them saved, to work good works in them and to take them home when He decides.

No Empathy, No Fruit

I am convinced it is not possible to have the fruit of the Spirit, love, joy, peace, gentleness, kindness, and self-control while lacking empathy. If there is no empathy there cannot be this fruit.

Galatians 5:22-23

"22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law."

When our character is that of Christ Who lives in us it is not possible to lack this fruit, it is the very nature of Who Christ is and He lives in us.

If someone cannot remain living in this fruit, they were never born again. If someone lives a lifestyle of narcissistic traits they do not have the fruit.

1 John 2:19-20 "This is how we know it is the last hour. 19 They went out from us, but they did not belong to us. For if they had belonged to us, they would have remained with us. But their departure made it clear that none of them belonged to us."

Those who are narcissists grow worse as they grow older because the fruit they seemed to have when they were younger was a disguise, they knew how to please those they wished to impress but could not do it with those they hated.

Those who have genuine fruit that is a part of their being like an arm or a leg, do not think about walking they just do it without thinking. They do not think about using their arms they just do it, because these things are so much a part of who they are they don't even have to ponder using these appendages.

The fruit of the Spirit is so much a part of the born-again believer that they don't have to think about it, it comes naturally like breathing. When something is a part of us we cannot act any other way except in the fruit.

It is foreign for us to do anything other than the fruit. Those who have to try to act like the fruit are fleshly and walk in their own pride.

May we seek the Lord Jesus Christ to become so much like Him that we don't have to think about the right things to do or be, we just do them because they are who we are deep down inside.

What Narcissists Misunderstand About Love | Dr. Les Carter

Narcissism is growing in our culture and is quite astounding.

Those who have strong narcissistic tendencies do not love anyone. Their concept of love is friendliness toward those who make them feel tingly and happy. This love is based on their own feelings not on the needs of others and definitely not on the desires of others.

Narcissists see the desires of others as a bother to them. They will only fulfill the desire of another person if doing so ultimately ends up elevating them personally.

I have known many narcissists and all their good deeds are done in front of others to be seen for personal praise.

Matthew 6:1-2 "1“Be careful not to perform your righteous acts before men to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven. 2 So when you give to the needy, do not sound a trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honored by men. Truly I tell you, they already have their full reward.…"

Matthew 23:4-6 "…4 They tie up heavy, burdensome loads and lay them on men’s shoulders, but they themselves are not willing to lift a finger to move them. 5 All their deeds are done for men to see. They broaden their phylacteries and lengthen their tassels. 6They love the places of honor at banquets, the chief seats in the synagogues,…"

Love God's way looks like this:

1 Corinthians 13:4–8a Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth."

When someone loves another person they never negate them, ignore them, dismiss them, or rage at them, but just the opposite of all these things are seen when someone loves another person. When we love someone we enjoy seeing them succeed at whatever they are doing. We allow each person to develop their talents and personalities as they grow, and we love to see it.

Agape love shows grief when the one we love fails, it demonstrates joy and happiness when our loved one confesses sin to be cleansed. The love of God never glories in the failures of others.

Narcissists glory in the failures of those of whom they are jealous and never let them forget their flaws and sins even after they are confessed and forgiven.

Narcissists love gossip that ruins the lives of their targets. They often start the gossip based on scanty information and guesses they wish to believe.

Narcissists choose ideas they wish to believe about their target and pass them on as facts to others. They treat their target with contempt after managing to convince themselves of things that are not true. In the mind of a narcissist, if they believe something that makes it a fact.

When we see people who operate on a regular basis in ways that show their jealousy and anger we are told to remove ourselves from them. We cannot change anyone no matter how much love we throw at them. They will become even angrier at the love, even twisting our good deeds to seem bad.

Matthew 7:6 " 6 Do not give dogs what is holy; do not throw your pearls before swine. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and then turn and tear you to pieces. "

It doesn't matter how much we love the narcissist, that love will not change them. Jesus Christ must reach them His way if they are able to be reached, only God knows what that way is for each individual.

Never allow another person to nag you into remaining friends with someone who is a narcissist. Those who do this do not understand the dynamic of narcissism and cannot be helpful to us.

God tells us clearly in His word the nature of narcissism and that we should avoid them.

2 Timothy 3:1-5 Ragingly insane times will come.

"3 But realize this, that in the last days difficult times will come. 2 For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, slanderers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy, 3 unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good, 4 treacherous, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, 5 holding to a form of godliness although they have denied its power; avoid such people as these."

We can pray for narcissists if we wish while we are removing ourselves from them.

Verse 5 says they can be religious, but not born-again, they have their own form of religion but have never known Christ. We are seeing many of these kinds of people in the pews today.

We need to be aware of them so that we do not surround ourselves with them thinking we can change them. When our circle of friends is as described in 2 Timothy 3 we will eventually become like them.

We must protect our walk with Christ through relationships that are traveling the same path, believing the same ways that we do, the way of the Bible.

Proverbs 13:22 "20 He who walks with the wise will become wise, but the companion of fools will be destroyed. "

I see many "Christians" today who are superficial and uninterested in discussions about the Lord because they love the superficial life and walking with others who are also superficial. If we want a deeper walk we must seek for our friends those who love the Word of God and who love one another.

John 13:34-35 "…34 A new commandment I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you also must love one another. 35 By this everyone will know that you are My disciples, if you love one another.”

God Calls Believers and God Teaches Believers

It always amazes me when men think they can teach men for the ministry better than Jesus Christ.

John 16:13-14 " 13 However, when the Spirit of truth comes, He will guide you into all truth. For He will not speak on His own, but He will speak what He hears, and He will declare to you what is to come. 14 He will glorify Me by taking from what is Mine and disclosing it to you.…"

Isaiah 11:2

"The Spirit of the LORD will rest on Him--the Spirit of wisdom and understanding, the Spirit of counsel and strength, the Spirit of knowledge and fear of the LORD."

John 14:17

"the Spirit of truth. The world cannot receive Him, because it neither sees Him nor knows Him. But you do know Him, for He abides with you and will be in you."

Notice that when it is the Holy Spirit Who teaches men, it is God Who is glorified not man.

Love People but Depend on Christ Alone

The only One we ought to be dependent on is Christ.

Co-dependency with human beings removes our boldness to carry out God's will for us.

Anyone who depends on someone else to carry them is placing Christ in second place to a human being.

We ought to be able to lean on one another during difficult times, that's what families do, but if there is no one, we are fine because we have Christ.

John 13:34

"A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another."

Galatians 2:20

"I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me."

1 Timothy 2:5

"For there is one God, and there is one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus,"

Titus 3:5

"He saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to his own mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewal of the Holy Spirit,"