Friday, May 17, 2024
Scapegoating and Love are not Compatable
Often the scapegoat of the family is accused of things the narcissists are doing and the scapegoats are not doing. It is astounding that the person who calls out the abuse and rudeness is the one who is further abused not only by the narcissist but all their flying monkeys who worship the one who causes all the problems.
Narcissists often have a hierarchy system in which they demand everyone honor them above anyone else. They have unspoken rules about who may speak and what they are allowed to say. These rulers of the cult demand that everyone do and say the same things, the one who does not fit in is the one who is treated contemptuously and gossiped about by the other members.
There is no autonomy in narcissistic family systems. The scapegoat is the one who thinks differently than the ruler of the narcissistic family system and is punished for not accepting the leader of this cult like system.
Often the narcissistic family system is the modern church gathering. It operates falsely the way many families operate, based on their own idea of truth not based in Scripture.
Most families and churches operate to some degree with a narcissistic mindset even if only in mild terms.
We are not talking about a matter of sin although the family system often has guesses and lies they concoct to discredit and demean the scapegoat member who steps out of the system to walk their own path.
Authentic Christians are the target of these narcissistic systems. They are treated with contempt by those who say they are Christians but have little to no regard for the principles of Christ as written in God's Word.
The people who act like the Pharisee in the parable of the tax collector and the Pharisee, are those who judge others for things they know nothing about or for minor infractions to their familial system that do not follow the Bible but are rules of that system laid out by the narcissistic hierarchy.
Luke 18:9-14
The Pharisee and the Tax Collector
9 Now He also told this parable to some people who trusted in themselves that they were righteous, and viewed others with contempt:
10 “Two men went up into the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector.
11 The Pharisee stood and began praying this in regard to himself: ‘God, I thank You that I am not like other people: swindlers, crooked, adulterers, or even like this tax collector.
12 I fast twice a week; I pay tithes of all that I get.’
13 But the tax collector, standing some distance away, was even unwilling to raise his eyes toward heaven, but was beating his chest, saying, ‘God, be merciful to me, the sinner!’
14 I tell you, this man went to his house justified rather than the other one; for everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but the one who humbles himself will be exalted.”
God condemns the traditions of men that oppress others and keep them in bondage to man-made ideas and rules that God never commanded.
Mark 7:13 "13 Thus you nullify the word of God by the tradition you have handed down. And you do so in many such matters.”
Mark 7:1-9 "1 The Pharisees and some of the scribes *gathered to Him after they came from Jerusalem,
2 and saw that some of His disciples were eating their bread with unholy hands, that is, unwashed.
3 (For the Pharisees and all the other Jews do not eat unless they carefully wash their hands, thereby holding firmly to the tradition of the elders;
4 and when they come from the marketplace, they do not eat unless they completely cleanse themselves; and there are many other things which they have received as traditions to firmly hold, such as the washing of cups, pitchers, and copper pots.)
5 And the Pharisees and the scribes *asked Him, “Why do Your disciples not walk in accordance with the tradition of the elders, but eat their bread with unholy hands?”
6 But He said to them, “Rightly did Isaiah prophesy about you hypocrites, as it is written:
‘This people honors Me with their lips,
But their heart is far away from Me.
7 And in vain do they worship Me,
Teaching as doctrines the commandments of men.’
8 Neglecting the commandment of God, you hold to the tradition of men.”
9 He was also saying to them, “You are experts at setting aside the commandment of God in order to keep your tradition. "
We have this same cult-like mentality today as many "church-goers" judge those who have left the formal apostate church systems to remain at home with family and friends.
Nowhere in God's Word does He command a system of hierarchy for the gathering of believers and nowhere does God command a man be placed in authority over the believers.
The only Authority over the believer is the Holy Spirit. Leaders are to lead by example and teaching, they have no authority over those they shepherd.
All believers are accountable to all other believers. When a leader dominates over others with an iron hand refusing any input from the other believers they have usurped the Holy Spirit and made themselves the mediator between others and God.
1 Timothy 2:5
"5 For there is one God, and one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus;"
Leaders are to be humble and the servants of others, not the authority over them.
Matthew 20:25-27 "…25 But Jesus called them aside and said, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their superiors exercise authority over them. 26 It shall not be this way among you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, 27 and whoever wants to be first among you must be your slave—"
God's Love does not allow for demeaning, mocking dismissing and rejection within His church over disagreements.
1 Corinthians 13:4-8
"4 Love is patient, love is kind, it is not jealous; love does not brag, it is not arrogant.
5 It does not act disgracefully, it does not seek its own benefit; it is not provoked, does not keep an account of a wrong suffered,
6 it does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; 7 it keeps every confidence, it believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."
Thursday, May 16, 2024
Wednesday, May 15, 2024
53 Years of Marriage and Still Going
53 years of marriage today. My husband and I waited until I was 18 and he had finished college to marry in 1971. We were engaged when I was 16. I remained with my parents until he finished college except the few months I was away at college.
Over the years God entered our lives, changed us into new creations and directed our lives since that time when we were born again.
God was working on our behalf even before we trusted in Him. We have had many adventures, and changes and met many people, all of this grew and changed us and we continue to grow and change. Every day is a blessing because all things teach us even the difficult things.
Anyone who tells you they had a wonderful marriage for 50 years without any problems is lying or playing a role. Life is hard often for everyone, denying it to appear superior to others does nothing, it doesn't help others learn to trust Christ as they slog through life's challenges.
May we see the challenges and trials as blessings from God as well as the easy times. Both are present and both teach lessons, but the greatest lessons come from enduring the difficulties as God shows us the lessons that give us wisdom.
James 1:2-16 "2 Consider it all joy, my brothers and sisters, when you encounter various trials,
3 knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance.
4 And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.
5 But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him.
6 But he must ask in faith without any doubting, for the one who doubts is like the surf of the sea, driven and tossed by the wind.
7 For that person ought not to expect that he will receive anything from the Lord,
8 being a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.
9 Now the brother or sister of humble circumstances is to glory in his high position;
10 but the rich person is to glory in his humiliation, because like flowering grass he will pass away.
11 For the sun rises with its scorching heat and withers the grass; and its flower falls off and the beauty of its appearance is destroyed; so also the rich person, in the midst of his pursuits, will die out.
12 Blessed is a man who perseveres under trial; for once he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him.
13 No one is to say when he is tempted, “I am being tempted by God”; for God cannot be tempted by evil, and He Himself does not tempt anyone.
14 But each one is tempted when he is carried away and enticed by his own lust.
15 Then when lust has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it has run its course, brings forth death.
16 Do not be deceived, my beloved brothers and sisters.
17 Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow.
18 In the exercise of His will He gave us birth by the word of truth, so that we would be a kind of first fruits among His creatures."
No one can grow in wisdom without trials. No one can learn important lessons without trials. Focusing on the happy times doesn't teach much to others. There are lots of happy times, but the most important times are those that teach great and lasting lessons that change our hearts and our lives.
Christ is the answer in life, the answer to everything all the time. Those who credit themselves with their life will miss the blessings of wisdom and godly knowledge that make every portion of life have meaning. And, when we trust Christ we have joy through everything, even though the tears and emotion that comes from the trials.
Weeping is cleansing, it is necessary to release the tension that comes from life experiences. Praise God not only in the easy times bur even more in the difficult ones.
Psalm 30:5 "For his anger is but for a moment,
and his favor is for a lifetime.
Weeping may tarry for the night,
but joy comes with the morning."
Tuesday, May 14, 2024
The Holy Spirit is Enough for the Born Again Believer Trusting in Christ
Why would we need any human being to be an authority over us when we have the God Who created the universe living inside of us.?!!!!
If we allow any human being to be our authority we are usurping the Holy Spirit and practicing idolatry.
Spirit of glory (1 Peter 4:14)
God (Acts 5:3-4)
Spirit of revelation (Ephesians 1:17)
Spirit of the Son (Galatians 4:6)
Spirit of God (Genesis 1:2; 1 Corinthians 2:11; Job 33:4)
Eternal Spirit (Hebrews 9:14)
Spirit of the Lord (Isaiah 11:2; Acts 5:9)
Spirit of wisdom (Isaiah 11:2; Ephesians 1:17)
Spirit of counsel (Isaiah 11:2)
Spirit of might (Isaiah 11:2)
Spirit of understanding (Isaiah 11:2)
Spirit of knowledge (Isaiah 11:2)
Spirit of the fear of the Lord (Isaiah 11:2)
Spirit of judgment (Isaiah 4:4; 28:6)
Spirit of burning (Isaiah 4:4)
Spirit of the Lord God (Isaiah 61:1)
Breath of the Almighty (Job 33:4)
Comforter (John 14:16, 26; 15:26)
Spirit of truth (John 14:17; 15:26)
Power of the Highest (Luke 1:35)
Spirit of the Father (Matthew 10:20)
Spirit, The (Matthew 4:1; John 3:6; 1 Timothy 4:1)
Good Spirit (Nehemiah 9:20; Psalms 143:10)
Holy Spirit (Psalm 51:11; Luke 11:13; Ephesians 1:13; 4:30)
Free Spirit (Psalm 51:12)
Spirit of prophecy (Revelation 19:10)
Seven Spirits of God (Revelation 1:4)
Spirit of holiness (Romans 1:4)
Spirit of adoption (Romans 8:15)
Spirit of life (Romans 8:2; Revelation 11:11)
Spirit of Christ (Romans 8:9; 1 Peter 1:11)
Spirit of grace (Zechariah 12:10; Hebrews 10:29)
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