People will accuse us of rudeness, self-righteousness, and many other things because they are uncomfortable, not because we were actually the way they describe.
I had one woman accuse me of yelling when I was speaking calmly and normally. Thankfully, another woman in the room witnessed it and knew I was not yelling.
People will interpret us in a way that suits their feelings, rather than what is true. And, they will attempt to make us feel ashamed when they were the ones acting shamefully; it's called projection.
Psalms 35:20 "20 For they do not speak peace,but against those who are quiet in the landthey devise words of deceit."
Matthew 5:11-12 "11 "Blessed are you when others revile you and persecute you and utter all kinds of evil against you falsely on my account. 12 Rejoice and be glad, for your reward is great in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you."
The people accused Christ, the Son of God of things that were not true, just as they will do it to us too.
Isaiah 53:7 "7 He was oppressed, and he was afflicted, yet he opened not his mouth; like a lamb that is led to the slaughter,and like a sheep that before its shearers is silent, so he opened not his mouth."
Psalm 27:12 “Do not turn me over to the desire of my foes, for false witnesses rise up against me, spouting malicious accusations”
False accusations and deliberate misinterpretations of what we say and do are a continual occurrence for those who love Christ. Often, the misinterpretations are deliberate twisting of what was said and adding words that were not said.
When gossip is revealed, it is best not to answer it, explain things or retaliate in any way. If someone asks out of love with concern for us, then we can share, but never just to have our say to someone who will further use against us what we tell them. The Holy Spirit can give us discernment as to when we share and with whom.
When someone comes with malice in their heart to accuse us of what we heard, we can calmly and lovingly say, "That was none of your business." Anyone who becomes angry at this answer is showing you their evil intent to add to the gossip and will probably report back to those who started the gossip.
When we learn who loves us and who does not we can remove ourselves and it is alright to distrust them until they repent in shame over what they have done.
Ephesians 5:11-13 "Have no fellowship with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. 12 For it is shameful even to mention what the disobedient do in secret. 13 But everything exposed by the light becomes visible, for everything that is illuminated becomes a light itself.
Remember, we need not expose everything to everyone, we can leave room for God to do His work His way.
2 Corinthians 4:2
"Instead, we have renounced secret and shameful ways. We do not practice deceit, nor do we distort the word of God. On the contrary, by open proclamation of the truth, we commend ourselves to every man’s conscience in the sight of God."
