Can anyone tell me what the proper practice is for signing a family letter?
I have always signed mine and my husband's name when sending a birthday or thank you card, but feel uncomfortable signing my husband's name to a personal letter that I wrote. I might say, Rodger says hi, or relay a message from him and then sign his name with mine.
If the letter is generic with information about what we have been doing, I have no problem signing both our names. However when I have interjected personal opinions or stories that do not pertain to my husband, in a private letter, I am uncomfortable signing his name too, since he may not have the same opinions.
When I sign both our names on a letter, I feel that the letter with both our names ought to reflect total agreement with what is written.
What do you all think?
Psalm 91:11-16
11 For He will give His angels charge concerning you,
To guard you in all your ways.
12 They will bear you up in their hands,
That you do not strike your foot against a stone.
13 You will tread upon the lion and cobra,
The young lion and the serpent you will trample down.
14 “Because he has loved Me, therefore I will deliver him;
I will set him securely on high, because he has known My name.
15 “He will call upon Me, and I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble;
I will rescue him and honor him.
16 “With a long life I will satisfy him
And [d]let him see My salvation.”
This is what most believers are up against. As we assert our beliefs in Christ, making the decision to obey Christ, we are going to see more family rejection. We are told by many writer, the observation that there is an increase in narcissism in our culture. Most of them are seculars who see what is going on but don't realize that what they are seeing is written in God's Word as well as not really knowing what to do with it.
2 Timothy 3:1-5
"3 But realize this, that in the last days difficult times will come. 2 For men will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, revilers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy, 3 unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, [a]haters of good, 4 treacherous, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, 5 holding to a form of [b]godliness, although they have denied its power; Avoid such men as these."
"Denial is at the root of narcissism, and at the core of the narcissistic family. Any exposure is a threat to the survival of the system, and must be addressed accordingly. ACoNs who raise any concerns about the family's dysfunctions report being ostracised by the whole family, including siblings they thought they were close to. Criticism, or any introspection, is perceived as an attack, and the response of the family is to attribute a fault to whomever makes the criticism. In other words, if you call the family crazy, the whole family will call you crazy back."
sonsofnarcissiticmothers.org: The Narcissistic Family
The firestorm that occurs when those who love the Word of God mention divorce and remarriage is shocking. The objections are not coming from unbelievers but from those who claim to be born again Christians.
When we see someone defending the lowest standard, rather than loving the highest standard, we can pretty well guess that they are those who have been divorced and remarried, those who feel a need to defend the sin they do not want to forsake.
God does not wink at sin, He does not "tolerate" it. Eventually it will be dealt with when we go before Him. Some who think they can live as they please, and their pleasure is sin, very likely were never born again.
When God changes us into a new creation He removes the sinful desires and replaces it with a desire to be holy, continuing to grow in that holiness.
There are many of you who are my friends who understand the concept of having had all your sinful desires removed. Others are so brazen that they will fight and argue to defend what God condemns, their sins that the culture accepts. They are more comfortable with unbelievers than they are with true believers.
Those who are born again can relate to the following passage and understand it.
2 Corinthians 5:17 "Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come."
Those who have resisted God's will at every turn, desiring to have their own way while twisting God's Word to pretend it is alright with God, may eventually be able to relate to this following passage;
Matthew 7:21-23
"21 “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. 22 On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?’ 23 And then will I declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.’"
God never allows divorce under any circumstances. The confusion over this matter is in Matthew where God says "except for fornication." Matthew was written to Jews who had the custom of betrothal, the betrothal was treated as binding as a marriage even though the couple didn't live together, they often were betrothed to one another from childhood.
The Jewish people required a certificate of divorce from the betrothal or engagement for sexual immorality. This was not speaking about marriage.
The other gospels don't have the exception clause because they were written to Gentiles who didn't have this custom.
IN the KJV of the bible the word "fornication" is used in the Matthew passage, meaning before marriage.
Matthew 19:9 "And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery."
In the account of Joseph discovering that Mary was with child during their betrothal, he was going to "divorce her quietly", because even though he was betrothed to her, he didn't want to hurt her. In those days stoning was the penalty for fornication and adultery. Joseph was not yet married to Mary but was going to "divorce her, from the betrothal or engagement. Joseph was referred to as Mary's husband before they were married during the betrothal.
Matthew 1:18-25 "18 Now the birth of Jesus Christ took place in this way. When his mother Mary had been betrothed to Joseph, before they came together she was found to be with child from the Holy Spirit. 19 And her husband Joseph, being a just man and unwilling to …"
Matthew 1:19 "And Joseph her husband, being a righteous man and not wanting to disgrace her, planned to send her away secretly."
God does allow separation in cases of severe conflict or abuse, but never divorce. He says that if we divorce we have only two options, to remain single or to be reconciled.
Matthew 7:10 "10 But to the married I give instructions, not I, but the Lord, that the wife should not leave her husband 11 (but if she does leave, she must remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband), and that the husband should not divorce his wife."
I always wondered why the exception clause was not in the other gospels, when I prayed about it, God opened my eyes. I never believed in divorce for adultery because of the character of God, our permanency in salvation when God made us into a new creation as being a picture of our oneness in marriage when GOD makes us one, we are no longer two. It is a spiritual work of God that we cannot undo. Once we have become one with the Holy Spirit in salvation, that salvation can never be severed.
Then of course there is the matter of which sin is the unforgivable sin. There is only one and that is blasphemy against the Holy Spirit.
Matthew 12:31-32 says, "And so I tell you, every sin and blasphemy will be forgiven men, but the blasphemy against the Spirit will not be forgiven. Anyone who speaks a word against the Son of Man will be forgiven, but anyone who speaks against the Holy Spirit will not be forgiven, either in this age or in the age to come."
Any man who lusts, God says he has committed adultery. The act is not worse than the thoughts of man although they carry bigger consequences.
Matthew 5:28 "but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart."
We know that divorce for adultery is not true because God equated our thoughts of it the same as if we had done it. God counts our thoughts above the act, because the act cannot happen without the thoughts first.
God wants us to stand by the person He made us one with, until death. We can pray, love, forgive and hope for reconciliation. Anyone who is prideful enough to think they can throw away their spouse for adultery, must consider themselves "sin free." All of us sin, sometimes in big ways, but that does not sever the bond, the glue that God used to make us one.
God told us to remain single after divorce or be reconciled. There were no other choices. Why? Because two people who are made one by God cannot undo what God did, just as we cannot undo our salvation when GOD makes us a new creation.
Divorce is a sin, those who have divorced can repent and obey God by remaining single until God makes a way for them to be reconciled. Reconciling is not always possible because of the pressures of our culture that cause a spouse to seek another person to live with. When that happens, God says it is adultery.
Rom 7:1-3 "Do you not know, brothers and sisters--for I am speaking to those who know the law--that... a married woman is bound by the law to her husband as long as he lives?.. Accordingly, she will be called an adulteress if she lives with another man while her husband is alive."
Mark 10:2-9 (KJV) And the Pharisees came to him, and asked him, "Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife?" tempting him. And he answered and said unto them, "What did Moses command you?" And they said, "Moses suffered to write a bill of divorcement, and to put her away." And Jesus answered and said unto them, "For the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept. But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder."
Luke 16:18 ""Everyone who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery, and he who marries one who is divorced from a husband commits adultery."
Many people in the apostate church sit in the pews every week believing they are not sinning as they sit next to their adulterous spouse in remarriages. Those who resolve to remain single are pressured by others in the church to find a spouse, they seem to just hate to see anyone without a spouse. Those who pressure divorced people to remarry will be accountable to God for their lies that come from the mouth of the devil.
Remember God told the truth all the time and gave that truth to us through His Word. Man is a liar, taking those truths of God twisting them to mean what they want to justify their own sin.
Pretenders love to suck others into their lies, they hate to sin alone. They hate to see a righteous man obey God when the culture is against him. May those who have been divorced remain faithful to singleness according to God's Word. May those who are being pressured to remarry after divorce stand up to those who encourage them to disobey God, with God's Word as their authority!
The basis of any quality friendship is mutual respect, honoring one another's personality style as being different but complimentary of our own.
Keep in mind we are not talking about sin in this discussion. We are never to accept sin in anyone, however we can confidently with compassion speak our concerns to a true friend, this ought to be reciprocal. When a friend comes to us with a concern, we ought to be willing to listen to the concern, going to prayer about it and coming back to our friend with an answer. Often we already know the answer, when this is the case, we can speak to the matter immediately, there is no reason to wait.
The key to friendships is a lack of pride or need to be always right.
If we are ruled by a false self, we tend to be overly sensitive and combative when corrected or challenged in any way. When we are genuine and honest we are much more willing to accept criticism when it comes.
We must have a genuine attitude of empathy toward our friends. Speaking truth while treating one another with honor and respect. There can be no friendship when there is no respect. When one person elevates themselves above another, there can only be conflict and destructive superiority.
I found a wonderful study on the matter of honor, that is worthwhile for every believer to read and implement. I feel that this matter of honor and respect has been lost in the American culture. The link to this study is below;http://www.bibletools.org/index.cfm/fuseaction/Library.sr/CT/RA/k/164/A-Matter-of-Honor.htm
For those who think America does not deserve judgment or that God will just dismiss our sin because we say we are sorry, perhaps need to understand that repenting of our sins will not wipe away the judgment that is coming. The blood of 56 million babies through abortion must be avenged. It would not be just for a Holy God to give us a pass on this terrible torturous travesty against the most vulnerable human beings.
Isaiah 59:
2 "1 Behold, the LORD'S hand is not so short That it cannot save; Nor is His ear so dull That it cannot hear.
2 But your iniquities have made a separation between you and your God, And your sins have hidden His face from you so that He does not hear.
3 For your hands are defiled with blood And your fingers with iniquity; Your lips have spoken falsehood, Your tongue mutters wickedness."
