There are those who claim living together before marriage makes for a better marriage because you can get to know whether or not you are compatible. HOGWASH, these lines are nothing more than an excuse to use someone to see if you want to commit.
Everyone who engages in this practice is lacking respect and commitment. No one is compatible with another person, we have to develop compatibility through the work of learning about another person, that is not what we do in bed, it's what we do when we work out dilemmas, care enough to give up our own desires for the sake of another and from choosing to love through our attitudes and actions. It takes the love of Christ to be able to understand this commitment and dedication.
The facts show that those who live together without marriage have a higher rate of divorce than those who don't do it, it comes down to respect. If we do not respect another person enough to commit our lives to them without using them first, then we will not respect the marriage covenant either.
People are not used cars, you don't take them for a test drive, allow a serious bond and then decide later you will not bother making them a permanent part of your being, notice I said being, rather than life.
Romans 7:2-3
"2 For the married woman is bound by law to her husband while he is living; but if her husband dies, she is released from the law concerning the husband. 3 So then, if while her husband is living she is joined to another man, she shall be called an adulteress; but if her husband dies, she is free from the law, so that she is not an adulteress though she is joined to another man."
God's principles are for the protection of the family and each member in that family.
We have a prayer request. My husband's sister and her husband live about an hour and a half from us, they are being evacuated from their home in the hills because of the fires.
The fires are only a half a mile away from them, the air is full of smoke and the flames are licking up around them. They are in the process of gathering their important items to evacuate. They have a couple of options for places to go to be safe. We have offered our warehouse if they or someone else needs it. The warehouse has a kitchen, bath and bedroom, so it would be adequate.
We have been watching ash fall on our car today, with the windows all open last night because of the heat, the tables in our home are covered with ash from all the surrounding fires.
Only just two days ago I had not been paying attention to what was going on and was not aware of how much was burning in our state of Washington and across the river in Oregon.
May the Lord protect the believers as they are displaced. May the Lord bring many unbelievers to Himself as they see their need to trust in Him.
You know....we can actually work up feelings by thinking about something that isn't even happening. Feelings lie to us, they tell us things are good when they are bad and that things are bad when they are good.
Isaiah 5:20 "Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that count darkness as light, and light as darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter!"
Perhaps this is what is meant when God says in His words, that in the end times "good will be called bad and bad will be called good", a time in which the whole world is operating from "feelings" instead of rational thinking.
The devil works feelings in people that aren't even accurate, those who give in to their feelings lack discernment as well as good sense, not to mention becoming pawns of the evil doer himself, Satan.
When we are able to evaluate things with the mind of Christ, we don't follow our feelings, we follow God's principles, not legalistically but rationally with intentionality for His glory. We feel no need to add anything to God's word to make it better. We love His word just as it is and believe what He said, just as He said it. He did all the work in relaying His message to us, all we have to do is believe Him. Hallelujah!
When we focus more on Christ than anything else we will not need rituals. In fact rituals feel silly and empty to the born again believer who walks with Christ living in them.
Rituals are for those who lack faith and have their confidence in those rituals instead of Christ. They have to keep doing them over and over again, mindlessly and continually to feel a sense of safety.
Mark 7:13-14 "13 Thus you nullify the word of God by the tradition you have handed down. And you do so” in many such matters. 14 Once again Jesus called the crowd to Him and said, “All of you, listen to Me and understand:…"
Ritual reminds me of a saying by Albert Einstein: "the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different result."
Self reflection is at the core of every believers life. When we have trusted Christ, evaluating what we do and say is common and expected for spiritual and emotional growth.
Believers should not fear self reflection but desire it, pondering our attitudes and actions according to the Word of God is desired by the authentic believer, we want to please God more than we care what others think of us. A false persona, continual hiding and pretense is not the lifestyle of the authentic believer.
Those that cannot evaluate themselves, out of fear of finding out they are not perfect, can never be born again, nor can they grow past infancy in their lives as a whole. Their responses to life remain child like, always about self and lacking in discernment.
Because of this aversion to self reflection they cannot engage in honest and open communication. Everything is a competition and must be met with hostility if it does not elevate them. The hostility is the response of immaturity on the part of someone who must discredit anyone who may expose a need for change in their lives.
Those who are focused more on status and appearances, often indulge themselves in narcissism. It's what drives them every day all day, their's is a miserable and unsatisfied existence.
In Christ we have no need to "appear" anything, our continual bent is to please God, honor and obey Him as we are led by the Holy Spirit.
If anyone is attempting to "do" their Christianity in their own flesh, they must stop that and begin to "be" controlled by the Holy Spirit, dropping all pretense and fakery, requiring openness and honesty about themselves while desiring to understand others.
When we are "being" in Christ, the doing will follow, but if we are only "doing" then it is fleshly and self focused rather than Christ centered.
2 Corinthians 13:5 " 5 Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves. Can’t you see for yourselves that Jesus Christ is in you — unless you actually fail the test? 6 And I hope you will realize that we have not failed the test.…"
Psalm 119:59
"I considered my ways And turned my feet to Your testimonies."
Jeremiah 31:19
"'For after I turned back, I repented; And after I was instructed, I smote on my thigh; I was ashamed and also humiliated Because I bore the reproach of my youth.'"
Lamentations 3:40
"Let us examine and probe our ways, And let us return to the LORD."
Ezekiel 18:27-28
"Again, when a wicked man turns away from his wickedness which he has committed and practices justice and righteousness, he will save his life. "Because he considered and turned away from all his transgressions which he had committed, he shall surely live; he shall not die."
Haggai 1:5-7
"Now therefore, thus says the LORD of hosts, "Consider your ways! "You have sown much, but harvest little; you eat, but there is not enough to be satisfied; you drink, but there is not enough to become drunk; you put on clothing, but no one is warm enough; and he who earns, earns wages to put into a purse with holes." Thus says the LORD of hosts, "Consider your ways!"
1 Corinthians 11:27-31
"Therefore whoever eats the bread or drinks the cup of the Lord in an unworthy manner, shall be guilty of the body and the blood of the Lord. But a man must examine himself, and in so doing he is to eat of the bread and drink of the cup. For he who eats and drinks, eats and drinks judgment to himself if he does not judge the body rightly. For this reason many among you are weak and sick, and a number sleep. But if we judged ourselves rightly, we would not be judged."
