When someone is repentant and we forgive them because they changed their heart then it is easy to forgive and easy to forget. When someone is not sorry and we cannot forgive them, then there is no forgetting, there remains distrust. We are not bitter because of their choice to refuse to be sorry, but we are cautious. Confession and forgiveness is for the sake of restoring the relationship. The relationship cannot be restored if one of these actions is not taken.
It takes faith to do what God said to do because it doesn't feel good for a relationship to be broken, but the mending is not in the "letting it go", the mending is in the confession and forgiveness, both sides of the same coin, they cannot be separated.
When someone pretends to forgive when the offender is not sorry then God's purpose is thwarted and stunted. The person who will not be sorry doesn't grow and even becomes bitter. The person who forgives without the offender being sorry is not really forgiving, its just something to say to feel more spiritual and superior.
Those who do not forgive unrepentant offenders do not become bitter, they desire to forgive, they desire a changed heart for the offender and they even pray for the offender to realize their need to confess and change, so that the relationship will be restored authentically God's Way.
When we try to "feel better" for ourselves we are not thinking of the eternal well-being of the offender.
Psychology has destroyed reconciliation by getting people to focus on temporary feelings instead of long-term consequences. Reconciliation is not important to those who base their actions on feelings, only momentary superficial manipulation that solves nothing, rather it sweeps the dirt under the rug hoping the dirt will not emerge at a later time.
Nothing is cleansed, nothing changes and no one is freed from the uncomfortable sense every time they encounter the offender or the offender encounters the victim.
Mere sensations do not solve anything, they are nothing more than indicators of a desire, not the substance of anything real.
Do we as believers desire to forgive others? You betcha we do, we want that more than anything but just saying we do when they are not repentant is useless and sort of infantile. The idea that because I want it and say it then it must be true is not very mature thinking.
Sometimes we have to do the hard thing, wait a long time, and learn patience for God to do the real work in someone and in ourselves.
Do we have the strength to believe God by doing things His way even if it doesn't feel good or if we don't understand it?
We spanked our children when they were small to teach them good things. It didn't feel good but it accomplished better things than just feelings, it built character.
We see in our day how the character of children has been destroyed by the lack of discipline and training of the parents. And, we see how the culture has completely lost the ability to have consequences for bad attitudes and behavior, leaving a rude and crude culture hypersensitive to correction.
We are headed to the tribulation and are now living in the 2 Timothy three generation because of the teaching of self-esteem and lack of character training in the previous generations.
Just because the world has gone mad without the ability to think rationally does not mean that we should become like the world. God's ways are still for us, we are still to obey His commands even if no one else does.
Romans 3:3-4 "…3 What if some did not have faith? Will their lack of faith nullify God’s faithfulness? 4 Certainly not! Let God be TRUE and every man a liar. As it is written: “So that You may be proved right when You speak and victorious when You judge.”
Don't worry, if you lose all your friends and family, God is always your Father and those who love Him are going through the same things you are, you are not alone ever!!!!!
