Tuesday, October 10, 2023
Scapegoating within the Church Gatherings
If you have been a scapegoat in a family you will understand my meaning in this thread.
"The sins of the father being visited down to the third and fourth Generation" by example.
God does not visit the sins onto future generations and there is no curse, however, there is an example of those in the family that has indoctrinated all the other members to the point that future generations cannot wrap their mind around the truth when it stands right in front of them. It's called brainwashing due to exposure to lies over and over again coupled with the fear of rejection from those who wish them to believe certain things about someone.
"More is caught than taught."
If the whole family doesn't like the scapegoat there must be a reason even if the children and grandchildren don't know what it is, they have been trained to interpret everything the scapegoat does or says in terms of how others treat the scapegoat and the gossip they have heard about the scapegoat.
The third and fourth generation doesn't know why everyone hates that person in the family but being an entrenched part of the family system they go with whatever the majority or the family leader is doing in order to be accepted by the mob.
Usually there is a leader who drives everything and is surrounded by flying monkeys, those who do the leader's bidding.
And, it is family mobbing in the sense that no one will see the truth because they would be rejected if they did and especially if they dared to challenge the family gossip.
All family members operate in unison except the outliers, those who have detached from the family system, who do not like what they see and also become rejected for their honesty about what is going on in the family.
Sadly many church systems have perverted the meaning of love by coddling and pampering the perpetrators while demanding the victims to forgive when no confession of wrongdoing happened.
The church as a whole cannot be helpful to the victims of wicked people. You see, it is easier to sweep things under the rug under the guise of caring for the perp than to expose things to be health with openly and honestly.
Laziness is at the core of this mentality. If the perp were held to a standard and required to repent then the victim would see justice and healing. This is rare in most gatherings because the Biblical standards of repentance and forgiveness have been perverted, erring on the side of the wicked ones while throwing the victims under the bus.
Satan is very happy about this, sin grows while righteousness is decreased in the very buildings that people call the houses of God. The evil ones get away with their sin as they grow worse as they get away with just about anything. The victims are seen as whiners without advocates further abused by those who say they are Christians.
Proverbs 29:9-10 "9 If a wise man goes to court with a fool, there will be raving and laughing with no resolution. 10 Men of bloodshed hate a blameless man, but the upright care for his life.…"
Church gatherings to day claim they are hospitals for the sick but in reality most are not only not healing anyone they are fostering illness by not handling sin Biblically as they defend and coddle those who love their sin.
My plea to all the victims of narcissistic abuse in church gatherings is to get out of them, do not blame God, and be satisfied to be alone with Him if you have to.
We are living in the last days, we can be alone with Christ through prayer and Bible reading we can become stronger than if we remain in those dead and lifeless, even monstrous gatherings that pretend to be Christian.
What you see in the church gatherings today is this;
2 Timothy 3:1-5
Difficult (ragingly insane) Times Will Come
3 But realize this, that in the last days difficult times will come.
2 For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, slanderers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy,
3 unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good,
4 treacherous, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God,
5 holding to a form of godliness although they have denied its power; avoid such people as these."
This ought to encourage you as negative as it sounds because it validates those who have seen this but didn't know what to call it or doubted their own experience.
Monday, October 9, 2023
A World Full of Narcissists Controlled by the Devil
I know of a woman who encounters narcissists on a regular basis. She has noticed over the years that the mindset of the selfish person is so continually on themselves that every decision is based on their desire to be superior to others.
Let's take the example of an encounter she had when she had a perm many years ago before going to a family function. One of the narcissists in the group began laughing at her. She asked what the woman was laughing at and she replied; "your hair looks so funny." This woman prided herself on being an "honest person", when really she was not being honest she was merely being rude.
Let's analyze this encounter a little to understand what really happened. The woman who was pridefully honest wasn't speaking for everyone else in the room, she was only expressing her own opinion about the hair. Because she didn't like the hair she thought it was alright to mock and demean the one who had a new hairstyle.
The thing that was astounding was that no one else in the room chastised her for her rudeness, in fact, they laughed with her. One of them even blurted out the most foolish statement that she had ever heard. The other woman said; "its good to laugh" in validation of the rudeness.
What does that mean, "its good to laugh"? Is it good to laugh at others because we have a different style? Is it good to laugh at a funeral when everyone else is sad? Is it good to laugh when someone is in a car wreck? The statement "its good to laugh" was meant to make the rude woman feel right about her rudeness. Never mind that the offended woman was standing right there in front of them as they mocked her.
There are narcissists who think their opinion is so perfect that they can never validate another person's happiness unless they are measuring up to the narcissist's idea of good. The narcissist's opinion of everything is all that matters to them.
On another occasion the woman who was the family scapegoat enjoyed garage sales and thrift stores, bringing home treasures that she and her husband enjoyed. Her walls were covered in interesting pictures and flower arrangements that were color-coordinated with the rest of her decor and she did it all on a budget.
The narcissist walks into the home and boldly proclaims that there are too many things on the walls as they mock what she has done. It was clear that the family of the narcissist had been discussing the foolishness of his grandparent leaving the narcissist completely at ease mocking his grandmother while she stood right in front of him.
Having been trained by the Holy Spirit to just let the comments go she said nothing realizing then and more evidence came later that she was the butt of many jokes in that family system. The disdain for her was clear from the covertly mean comments and even their silence when grandmother would share something important to her.
By the way, a wise person can tell the difference between a genuine joke and mocking, it's not hard to discern when all the other actions of these people have been rude continually.
Narcissists are all around us but often they can only be discerned by their targets the scapegoats. Others who have never been treated rudely often do not recognize the impolite digs and pokes.
When there is a narcissistic family system there must always be a scapegoat. The one person who thinks for themselves without depending on the approval of all the other members. Those who are confident in what they believe and live it out will always be hated by those who cannot seem to function on their own outside the family cult.
Everything the scapegoat says and does will be seen as foolish merely because it was them who said or did it.
When there is a pattern of ignoring, mocking, dismissing and excluding a particular person we know that a narcissist is involved. The narcissists cannot think on their own without the validation of others, they must fall in line with the other narcissists who are keeping them in bondage to their own oppressive system.
The very reason Jesus Christ was reviled by most people when He was on earth was because He brought conviction of sin, but not only that He brought a solution to it. The people didn't want His solution or His kindness.
Mankind does not like those who love to be kind so it attempts to provoke empathetic loving people to anger to be able to endorse their own hateful character.
"See how you are" is the mantra of the narcissist who provokes others and accuses them when they respond in frustration.
You see, a kind person is not someone who is kind to those they wish to impress. A kind person is always kind to everyone even when no one else is looking. Kindness is their character through and through not just a manipulative trick to bring out when needed.
A kind person does not have an agenda of self, they don't think about themselves very much. The narcissist is always only thinking about themselves in everything all the time. Even their kind acts are done to impress and manipulate others.
Matthew 6:1 "1“Be careful not to perform your righteous acts before men to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven."
1 Corinthians 13:4-8
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away."
The first response of a person when in the company of others is what is deep inside the soul.
We can only do kind and loving responses to life automatically if we are kind-hearted people.
Someone who is not kind-hearted can only pretend and eventually will be exposed for what they are on the inside. Discerning Christians can see the phoniness in someone early on because they know what authentic kindness looks like they will recognize the fake kindness almost immediately.
So what is the answer for the scapegoat? It's really quite simple, when we have to be in company with a narcissist we can ignore their rude comments and avoid those people whenever possible.
Once we realize we cannot change them and they are nothing but trouble to us we can remove ourselves in favor of the company of authentic believers who have the fruit of the Spirit.
Galatians 5:22-23
"22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law."
We are living in a world right now in which kindness is seen as a weakness, self-sacrifice is seen as foolish and rudeness is seen as a strength.
The devil always convinces people of the opposite of what God loves.
Narcissism is the weakness controlled by the devil and Christ-centered hearts are the strength, make no mistake about this. We live in a deeply selfish world we must learn to navigate through it without being triggered by the narcissists in it. We must be controlled by Christ.
Controlled by Christ not triggered by the narcissists, remember this.
2 Corinthians 12:9
"9 And He has said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness.” Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast [a]about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me."
Prophesy in Play as we Watch
We are watching prophesy as it plays out in front of our faces. What an exciting time to be living. I wonder if the prophets who wrote the Bible will be asking us what their prophesies looked like.
They wrote what they didn't understand but the understanding has now been opened and we can see more than the prophets could understand. WOW!!!!
We who are born-again have nothing to fear, rather we can rejoice in God's Word being proven true.
1 Corinthians 13:12
"12 For now we see in a mirror [a]dimly, but then face to face; now I know in part, but then I will know fully, just as I also have been fully known."
The glass is not so dark anymore, everyday it becomes a little more clear.
How to Move Forward in Holiness
We move forward growing in holiness and wisdom in direct proportions to how much we confess to be cleansed. 1 John 1:9-10
Those who refuse to confess remain emotional and spiritual infants and even regress.
Those who have a high opinion of their own goodness will malign the Word of God using it disgracefully and with arrogance to justify their own disobedience.
"9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous, so that He will forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 10 If we say that we have not sinned, we make Him a liar and His word is not in us."
If you are praying for wisdom and desire to grow in holiness, God will answer that prayer when we confess our sins to Him. That prayer will not be answered for those who refuse to admit the needed changes in their own heart.
Confessing openly is a cleansing experience, those who will not do this remain in a state of insecurity constantly having to justify themselves living in fear they will be discovered for what they are on the inside.
Openly honest people will have nothing to hide, they can be transparent and guilt-free as they admit the need for changes in their own heart.
Matthew 15:19
"19 For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murders, acts of adultery, other immoral sexual acts, thefts, false testimonies, and slanderous statements."
Those who will not confess will regress deeper and deeper into bitterness, hatred and resentment toward those they have harmed. They cannot progress or be cleansed until they admit what they have done and in a very specific way. Those who confess in generalities are remaining in their pride.
Those who hold past forgiven sins against others are often those who have never confessed their own sins or they would know people who confess become changed and operate differently than they did before. Those who do not change are not confessing.
Those who change are those who have admitted their flaws and sins and are growing.
Everyone who is born again can have this wonderful life guilt-free as they seek Christ for their cleansing in total transparency. Those who will not confess develop false personas they display before others but are in turmoil inside as they live in their guilt every day.
May we all self-reflect to see if we are walking with Christ His Way. Asking God to show us our sin that we might be cleansed from it.
Read Romans 7 on this matter of God's Law that reveals our sin. Do not quench the Holy Spirit by refusing to seek God on this matter.
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