What Is Real Love?

Today as I was reading in the Proverbs, I pondered the state of our culture and realized that, we as a Christian culture have been placing our emphasis on the positive much too long. Because we have been careful to make everything "positive" we have created a society that has difficulty hearing correction or rebuke. The result is that those listening don't hear the rebuke because it has been cloaked in marshmallow terms so that the focus is on how much the rebuker likes me and not on the message at all. We have used the scripture "a quiet answer turns away wrath" to the exclusion of "rebuke in the presence of all, that all may fear." I Timothy 5:20 & 21
and Proverbs 20: 30, "Blows that hurt cleanse away evil, as do stripes the inner depths of the heart." Proverbs 27:5-6, "Open rebuke is better than love carefully concealed. Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of any enemy are deceitful."

In Proverbs, the Lord, many times, hits us over the head with the hammer of what is at the core of our human nature and then He gives us his very best to know the change that is needed in our lives.

Some examples of this might be: Proverbs 21:29, "A wicked man hardens his face, But as for the upright he establishes his way." or Proverbs 22:15, "Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; The rod of correction will drive it far from him." Proverbs 24:24-25, "He who says to the wicked 'You are righteous,'
Him the people will curse; Nations will abhor him, But those who rebuke the wicked will have delight, And a good blessing will come upon them."

The Lord gives us a picture of our fallen nature first and then He gives us hope in His perfect way. If you do this......then you will not be accepted. If you do this.....then you will experience My blessing and approval.

We as a culture are taught to do the opposite of God's way, that is to win the sinner by our pretty smile first and then maybe they will hear what I am saying. God's way tells us to expose the wickedness and rebellion first and then bring the hope that God can change us if we repent. This needs to be practiced among the people of God first and then with the world. The Believers need conviction to turn from their sin to live a more Holy life and the non-believers need to be shown their sin to repent for salvation. Proverbs 29:5, "A man who flatters his neighbor spreads a net for his feet." Proverbs 26:28, "a flattering mouth works ruin."

The modern man flatters a person first and then gently tells their views. The person who has just been flattered, only hears that and nothing else. How many times have we seen someone who acknowledges their flaws, in a conversation like this, actually go away seemingly in conviction and change nothing about their lives. I suggest that very few become truly convicted and repent, turning from their sin and obeying God, because they are not sorrowful over their sin.

In a discussion with my husband it came up that he was in many "sensitivity training classes" in his job as a managing engineer. The premise was to flatter first, then explain the problem. This works in business because people want to please the boss to keep their job. They know that they could be fired if they don't do what the boss wants. But in the world for evangelism, this does not work because the hearer does not HAVE to change anything in order to keep something he wants. God's way is always perfect and must be followed even when we don't see results. A person's reaction to the rebuke is not a measure of right or wrong in the encounter. A violent reaction to a rebuke only reveals the inner heart of rebellion in the man who harbors pride and bitterness.

It is interesting to note that a man who acts violently angry when he encounters disagreement is a man who is deeply fearful. The fear is the loss of control, and an intense need to win in order to regain the control of the conversation. When we encounter anger over disagreement, it is likely that the angry one lives in a state of fear and lacks the faith necessary to be willing to step aside and let someone else be right. Anger in a conversation is a form of manipulation.

Many times we can be gentle with a person, but there are also times that we need to be sharp. We as believers need to walk more closely with the Holy Spirit to be able to discern when to be sharp and when to be gentle. Let's let the Holy Spirit tell us what to do and be, not the culture.

God Bless You with His Wisdom
Gwen