One of the very subtle tactics of the narcissist is to act as though we did something bad when we did something good. Often there is jealousy on the part of the narc when we accomplish something pleasing even if it is for them.
Normal kind, loving people appreciate acts of good intentions on their behalf. A reasonable person sees a kind act as something to be thankful for and enjoyed, even drawing the relationship closer. A narcissist will use the opportunity of a kind act to degrade and even humiliate the one who was benevolent, especially if their victim ever corrected or disagreed with them in the slightest terms.
A narcissist attempts to find something wrong in order to elevate themselves. They cannot tolerate anyone doing something that brings positive attention to anyone other than themselves, it distracts the others in the room from the narcissist.
Often the narcissists will work to undermine us if we have challenged them in any way, even the slightest correction or disagreement causes the narcissist to engage in emotional abuse, usually subtle so that others in the room do not notice.
Isaiah 5:20 "Woe to those who call evil good, and good evil; Who substitute darkness for light and light for darkness; Who substitute bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter!"
There is no profit in sharply rebuking the narc, they will only turn it around to make you the evil one in the eyes of others. The best tactic in dealing with these self aggrandized individuals is to seek God's Word for the answer. Here are some Scriptures that may help us to see the nature of the character of the narc and how to engage with them.
The best way to handle the narcissist is to first understand them according to God's Word.
Proverbs 18:2 "A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion."
Proverbs 29:11 "A fool gives full vent to his spirit, but a wise man quietly holds it back."
Proverbs 1:7 "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction."
Ecclesiastes 7:9 "Be not quick in your spirit to become angry, for anger lodges in the bosom of fools."
A narcissists is a fool, they enjoy and feed off of the pain and suffering of others. They laugh at the pratfalls of others but never laugh at their own. They enjoy watching their victim become angry and upset. The greatest victory in the mind of the narc is to cause divisions, separate friends and family while watching it all as though in a movie theater.
Proverbs 26:4 "Answer not a fool according to his folly, lest thou also be like unto him."
Proverbs 10:14 "The wise lay up knowledge, but the mouth of a fool brings ruin near."
Proverbs 29:9 "If a wise man has an argument with a fool, the fool only rages and laughs, and there is no quiet."
Never argue with a fool, when it is clear they are trying to draw us into a fight. They will consider themselves as having won, looming over their victim in superiority, as soon as someone is infuriated or frustrated.
We have all known people like this, their greatest aim is to be superior in the eyes of others, not realizing they are what the Bible calls a "fool."
We have seen them on facebook, they don't bring reasonable well thought out ideas, only superficial platitudes and name calling to elevate themselves, while frustrating all those looking on. They have won in their own minds if they have managed to get everyone fighting with everyone else including them.
Proverbs 14:7-9 "Leave the presence of a fool, for there you do not meet words of knowledge. The wisdom of the prudent is to discern his way, but the folly of fools is deceiving. Fools mock at the guilt offering, but the upright enjoy acceptance."
Moral of the story is, as soon as we discern that the person we are engaging with is a fool, it is a good idea to leave the discussion and for the one who owns the page to block them. "Going no contact" with the fool, or in modern terms the "narcissists", is the only course of action that returns our peace to us and saves friendships.
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