Our culture has taught the unbiblical stance that adult children don't have to listen to their parents anymore for advice. They have even mocked and demeaned a parent who chose to share advice.
I have been chastised for offering solutions to things or a better way that was Biblical, when I wasn't asked, but was in conversation.
If adult children don't want the input of their parents, then the parents have no purpose in their lives. All friends share ideas back and forth in conversation as a matter or course, but if the parent of an adult child does it, they have crossed the line and must be severely chastised for their opinion that may not agree with their adult children.
I don't know about all of you, but when I am told my opinion is of no value and to "butt out", then I count myself as devalued and go away. I cannot be a "yes" man for anyone, if someone shares something with me, chances are good I am going to have an opinion and it is always for the purpose of helping. No one has to take my advice, but I think that it would be alright to continue to value the parent even if the advice is not taken.
Exodus 20:12 "“Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you."
Proverbs 1:8 "Hear, my son, your father's instruction, and forsake not your mother's teaching,"
Does anyone know a Scripture that says, as long as you leave home and on your own you don't have to honor parents anymore?
Our culture is frightened, too frightened to speak it's mind when there might be resistance, too frightened to offer correction and advice that might help, too frightened to say no to an adult child when they request something that is against God's principles.
We are a frightened bunch, cowering every time another adult has a tantrum, as though it is not possible to have the honor and respect necessary in a friendship, unless we do what they want, when they want it, the way they want it. Personally I prefer to be without people who only want "yes" men for their friends. This is not a relationship at all but merely a monkey doing someone else's bidding with the hope that they will be loved for their obedience.
Don't get me wrong, I love to serve, however friendship is a matter of reciprocal loyalty and concern, it is far more than one person getting all they want, while the other is punished for wanting anything. If God places us in a situation where we must serve without being loved, even though we are not treated with love and loyalty, then we must be willing to do this with conviction, but we cannot call it "friendship."
Proverbs 18:24
A man of too many friends comes to ruin, But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.
Proverbs 17:17
A friend loves at all times, And a brother is born for adversity.
John 15:15
"No longer do I call you slaves, for the slave does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all things that I have heard from My Father I have made known to you.
Proverbs 12:26
The righteous is a guide to his neighbor, But the way of the wicked leads them astray.
Proverbs 13:20
He who walks with wise men will be wise, But the companion of fools will suffer harm.
Proverbs 22:24-25
Do not associate with a man given to anger; Or go with a hot-tempered man, Or you will learn his ways And find a snare for yourself.
Proverbs 27:17
Iron sharpens iron, So one man sharpens another.
John 15:13
"Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends.
1 Corinthians 15:33
Do not be deceived: "Bad company corrupts good morals."
Proverbs 27:5-6
Better is open rebuke Than love that is concealed. Faithful are the wounds of a friend, But deceitful are the kisses of an enemy.
Proverbs 15:22
Without consultation, plans are frustrated, But with many counselors they succeed.
James 4:4
You adulteresses, do you not know that friendship with the world is hostility toward God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God.
I think that it is time that we re-evaluate the meaning of friendship, our culture doesn't get it. Friendship is far deeper than happy smiles and pleasantries. Friendship is a depth of concern that shares all our experiences of life with vigor.
Romans 12:14-18 "14 Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse.
15 Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep. 16 Be of the same mind toward one another; do not be haughty in mind, but associate with the lowly. Do not be wise in your own estimation.
17 Never pay back evil for evil to anyone. Respect what is right in the sight of all men.
18 If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men."
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