God will only change a heart that wants to be changed. Sometimes we have to accept the circumstances and continue with God not having what we would like, but what God has ordained for us.
When we lose a spouse to death, we never get them back again. This is how some broken marriages have to be viewed, that those who have lost a spouse to divorce may never get them back again, but they can continue on for God anyway.
Divorce and remarriage is devastating for those who have to endure it. The divorce is bad enough, but then watching someone we love dearly remove their love and give it to another is devastating.
Those who have accepted second marriages as legit marriages, need to remember the pain those remarried people cause their real spouses. I say real because remarriage after divorce, is adultery, God said so and I believe Him.
It is cold hearted for friends of the divorced couple to continue contact with the one who walked away and with the couple in the remarriages. It is agonizing for the victim of these remarried people who have to watch someone else getting the love from their spouse that belonged to them alone.
Sadly, most of the Christian church has accepted the humanistic concept that man can undo what God did when He made two people one.
Mark 10:8-10 "…8 and the two will become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one flesh. 9 Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.” 10 When they were back inside the house, the disciples asked Jesus about this matter.…"
In the passage in Mark God is not saying "don't separate the spouses", He is saying "no one can." I know this because of the context that God has made them one. No one can undo what God does.
Just as no one can take away our salvation when HE makes us into a new creation. HE keeps us until He comes for us. In the same way, no piece of paper by the law of the land will undo the "ONE" that God made two people in marriage.
Matthew 19:6 "6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.”"
This is the reason removing oneself from a spouse is devastating no matter how angry someone may be at them. There is a spiritual connection to a spouse that is never removed until death.
1 Corinthians 7:39 "39 A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, as long as he belongs to the Lord."
As long as a spouse is still living that spouse remains one with the other spouse.
Luke 16:18 "18 Everyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery, and he who marries a divorced woman commits adultery. "
In the Matthew 5 passage that contains the phrase everyone uses as an excuse to divorce for adultery, they completely misunderstand the passage and the Jewish customs.
Many years ago I prayed to understand these verses because everyone was saying it was alright to divorce for adultery, but it didn't seem to fit with the rest of the Bible on God's promises. He never leaves us no matter what we do because we belong to Him. Yes we hate sin and don't want to sin, but sometimes His children do. He does not throw them away because they sin.
Hebrews 12:5-7 "…5 And you have forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons: “My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline, or lose heart when He rebukes you. 6 For the Lord disciplines the one He loves, and He chastises everyone He receives as a son.” 7 Endure suffering as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father?…"
In the Jewish custom of betrothal, the engagement was nearly as binding but not quite as the actual marriage. When someone was engaged as we say it, the man was called the husband and the woman was called a wife, even though they had not married yet and had not lived together.
Jesus Christ was speaking to Jews in the book of Matthew, when He said "except for fornication", meaning that if one was betrothed, or engaged and one of them was unfaithful with someone else, they could dissolve the betrothal. There was a contract for betrothal, in the Jewish custom, that said one had to have a certificate of divorce from the engagement.
This is what Christ was speaking about to the Jews when He said a couple must remain married in betrothal unless someone during that time were unfaithful to the other. The engagement, not the marriage.
Notice in the other gospels Christ gives no such direction because those books were written to Gentiles who had no such custom of divorce from engagement or betrothal.
Our modern world loves to twist Scripture to fit what they want. Up until about 70 years ago, everyone in the church understood God's mandate to remain married until death. What changed in 2000 years? The culture no longer cared what God thought, they were now looking for excuses to disobey God while twisting His own words to do it.
Now, in this generation we have pastors who are married more than once, we have people in the church gatherings who are shacking up without challenge and we have everyone accepting these second marriages as though it were not sin.
Because so many children have been raised with divorced parents, these parents cannot instruct their children to remain married for life because they didn't. If they did, then they would be seen as hypocrites because they would be telling their children one thing and doing another.
Most people who are divorced and remarried defend their status as though it came from God, but it is the opposite of what God commanded.
John 14:15
“If you love me, you will keep my commandments."
Acts 5:29
"But Peter and the apostles answered, “We must obey God rather than men."
Matthew 7:21-23
“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?’ And then will I declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.’"
When the pastor of a church will not obey God in the area of divorce and remarriage, then he has no business leading others. Pastors who remarried people, or remarried themselves after divorce or who accept without challenge remarried people in their congregations are in rebellion against God.
There is no excuse for disobedience against God except the willful arrogance and rebellion that dwells in the hearts of many if not most people in the churches today.
Matthew 15:7-9 "…7 You hypocrites! Isaiah prophesied correctly about you: 8 ‘These people honor Me with their lips, but their hearts are far from Me. 9 They worship Me in vain; they teach as doctrine the precepts of men.’”…"
The devil loves that divorce and remarriage is rampant, because marriage is a picture of Christ and the church, permanent and binding. It is God's picture of salvation and oneness in Christ when we become born again.
If the devil can remove all the pictures of God's promises and His love by destroying marriage, then He will destroy many people this way.
Marriage is more than just "do this, do that", it is a commitment that demonstrates God's commitment to those He has changed into a new creation. God never removed any of His promises, but the devil wants it to look that way by destroying marriages.
2 Peter 3:8-9
"8 But do not let this one fact escape your notice, beloved, that with the Lord one day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years like one day. 9 The Lord is not slow about His promise, as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing for any to perish but for all to come to repentance."
Just as God has been deeply wronged, He still waits for those who might become born again. Christ died for mankind and waits for every soul that will trust Him.
How callous and mean has our culture become that people will throw away spouses because they sin, as thought they themselves never sin. Who are we to throw away spouses because they are sinful.
Divorcing someone over adultery is nothing more than lack of faith and an excuse to dispose of someone who has been difficult. Yes, adultery hurts, but so do all the other unloving things spouses do to one another. There is no unforgivable sin, not even adultery.
Our culture likes to make adultery worse because of the pride, "look what they did to me", it's all about that pride. There are no excuses for adultery and there are no excuses for divorce and remarriage.
Here's the key to it all! God said don't commit adultery, and He also said remarriage after divorce is adultery. He told us never to leave our spouse for any reason. Do we obey God or do we excuse our sin by changing the rules to fit our desires?
And we want God to save America? Right!!!!!
Think about it.
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