Children Make Their Own Choices

I encourage those parents who did the right things with their children, although not perfectly because no one can be a perfect parent, that children often know the right things to do because we taught them, but the pull of the culture was far too strong.

So strong that the children became like gang members do, they throw over their parents for their new family, that is the gang, to be accepted by the world, the world is their gang.

They emulate the world to have "more" friends and to seem "cool", appearances and popularity are their aim. They often do not realize what they are throwing away in terms of loving and caring parents.

The gang or the world doesn't care about them, but their parents did, it the deepest way possible. Teaching them things they knew would make for a better, more content and loving lifestyle.

If anyone hears their children blaming them for not being the perfect parent, throw it back to them by asking them if they thought they could be the perfect parent. Usually, the claims of the narcissistic adult children are empty, trivial and superficial. Most accusations against the parents I have known are nothing more than rebellion against authority, anger at the "rules" or the parent having to lecture the children in order to teach them right from wrong. The adult children resisted counsel from their parents just as they reject it from God in their adult years.

Only God the Father was the perfect parent and even Adam and Eve chose to ignore His warnings and throw away His blessings to do things their own way. They didn't believe God or they would have trusted that He was protecting them. Just as the adult children of today could interpret their parents advice as a protection for them and even be grateful for it, but many choose to spurn the wisdom of their elders while tormenting them for even suggesting a need for a different path.

Many "Christians" say they believe the Bible but violate so many of God's principles that it must be said that they do not trust God, or they would obey Him.

John 14:21
"Whoever has My commandments and keeps them is the one who loves Me. The one who loves Me will be loved by My Father, and I will love him and reveal Myself to him."

Of course no one will keep the commandments perfectly because we are still trapped in this body of death, the flesh which wars against the Spirit that lives in us. However, this does not leave us with any excuse because God promised to give us what we need to resist the flesh.

Romans 7:23-25 "…23 But I see another law at work in my body, warring against the law of my mind and holding me captive to the law of sin that dwells within me. 24 What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? 25 Thanks be to God, through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, with my mind I serve the law of God, but with my flesh I serve the law of sin.…"

Philippians 4:13
"13 I can do all things through Him who strengthens me."

James 4:6-8 "6 But He gives us more grace. This is why it says: “God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.” 7 Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. 8 Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.…"

Not one child on this earth can blame their parents for their sins. God gave us the parents we had, He knew what our plight was and that we could always turn to Him for help. Rejecting and mocking our parents is the same as rejecting and mocking God, not because they are gods, but because the Lord gave us our parents.

Exodus 20:12
“Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you."

There are no Scriptures that say that a child can dishonor their parents just because they may not be a good parents or that they were not perfect.

Ezekiel 18:19-21 "19"Yet you say, 'Why should the son not bear the punishment for the father's iniquity?' When the son has practiced justice and righteousness and has observed all My statutes and done them, he shall surely live.
20"The person who sins will die. The son will not bear the punishment for the father's iniquity, nor will the father bear the punishment for the son's iniquity; the righteousness of the righteous will be upon himself, and the wickedness of the wicked will be upon himself.
21"But if the wicked man turns from all his sins which he has committed and observes all My statutes and practices justice and righteousness, he shall surely live; he shall not die.…"

Each person will be accountable to God for his/her own actions no matter what their parents or anyone else did to them. We can boldly admit what we went through, telling the truth about it, but we cannot blame our own sins or bad attitudes on our parents or anyone else.

There is no excuse ever for dishonoring parents, those who love their parents unconditionally as the Bible instructs, will never dishonor them. In fact, a loving adult child who has an alcoholic parent would feel sorrow and empathy rather than hate and mocking.

Rebellious adult children often dishonor their parents, not by what they do to the parents, although sometimes that, but how the adult child has chosen to live their lives in rebellion toward God.

Psalm 50:16-21 "But to the wicked God says,
“What right have you to tell of My statutes
And to take My covenant in your mouth?
17 “For you hate discipline,
And you cast My words behind you.
18 “When you see a thief, you are pleased with him,
And you associate with adulterers.
19 “You let your mouth loose in evil
And your tongue frames deceit.
20 “You sit and speak against your brother;
You slander your own mother’s son.
21 “These things you have done and I kept silence;
You thought that I was just like you;
I will reprove you and state the case in order before your eyes."

When an adult child refuses to listen to a warning, refuses to honor their parent and even mocks and demeans them, then that child is in danger of God's wrath.

If you are an adult child and you feel justified in mocking, demeaning and rejecting a parent who has attempted to instruct you in God's principles, then you are dishonoring your parent, even God because He has ordained that parent.

Some would make the excuse that adult children should only listen to the father of the family, God never said anything like that either in His word, here is what He did say;

Proverbs 1:7-9 "7 The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge; Fools despise wisdom and instruction. 8 Hear, my son, your father's instruction And do not forsake your mother's teaching; 9 Indeed, they are a graceful wreath to your head And ornaments about your neck."

In the KJV the Lord says it this way:
"My son, hear the INSTRUCTION of thy father, and forsake not the LAW of thy mother:"

Adult children who choose to mock, demean and reject their mother's teaching is rejecting the principle of God. When a mother sees this happening then she is instructed by God to walk away from her adult children, leaving them to God to deal with.

Deuteronomy 21:18-21
“If a man has a stubborn and rebellious son who will not obey the VOICE OF HIS FATHER or the VOICE OF HIS MOTHER, and, though they discipline him, will not listen to THEM, then his FATHER AND MOTHER shall take hold of him and bring him out to the elders of his city at the gate of the place where he lives, and they shall say to the elders of his city, ‘This our son is stubborn and rebellious; he will not obey OUR voice; he is a glutton and a drunkard.’ Then all the men of the city shall stone him to death with stones. So you shall purge the evil from your midst, and all Israel shall hear, and fear."

The father and mother have equal authority, if one overrides the other then the thing does not happen, but if both agree then the thing happens. This is a matter of AGREEMENT in the marriage as to the action to be taken.

If anyone is teaching that the father of the house has all authority without the input of the mother, then they are cultic. The father is the leader but he is not a dictator who forces everyone to do things his way, he counsels with his wife. A man who is a dictator is in violation of God's Word and in sin.

I have actually heard people say that if a woman of God is instructed by her husband to watch pornography, she is to do it because he said so. This is a wicked instruction and should be rejected, while refusing to listen to that person ever again about anything. Anyone who would not recognize the violation of the word of God, forcing a believer to violate their conscience as well as indulge them in something that is extremely damaging to their heart and their marriage, is a fool and evil, never listen to these people, in fact run away from them as fast as you can.