Forgiveness is Conditional

We are to forgive the way Christ forgives, not flippantly to make ourselves feel better, but after a confession so that others know their need to grow and change their behavior.

1 John 1:9 "9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."

Luke 17:3-4 " 3 Watch yourselves. If your brother sins, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him. 4 Even if he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times returns to say, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him.”…"

We are never to do revenge, we are to treat people respectfully when in their company, but relationships are not restored or continue when someone refuses to admit their sin or when they refuse to change the same continual behavior.

There is no value in everyone just "feeling better", the purpose of requiring a confession is for the cleansing of the one who sinned and the forgiveness of the one offended that the relationship take a new turn toward holiness and reconciliation based on entirely new attitudes.

Our culture has taught a patently unbiblical concept of forgiving without confession. This has led people to believe they don't have to confess, they just have to act a little better the next time. This tactic does not restore a relationship, it is superficially phony and does not restore the trust that was lost.

The only fix for a broken relationship is for the one who broke it to confess to the one they harmed. Hoping bad feelings will go away by pretending nothing bad was done to the victim, is the same as saying, you don't mean anything to me, I just want my status of friendship back.

When someone is not sorry, refuses to do what is necessary to restore a friendship, then they are admitting they are probably going to do the same kind of things again, the relationship gets poked, poked and poked over and over again, until there is no chance of restoring what was lost.

Sorrow over sin and confession to the ones we harmed is the ONLY solution to broken relationships. Until this happens the relationship remains broken and eventually the harmed party walks away forever.

Those who will not confess they need Christ, who will not reconcile to God through faith in His finished work on the cross, will not see heaven. In order to see heaven one must confess their sinfulness, ask to be changed into a new creation, after that Christ will come to live in them and begin the work of cleansing for the rest of their lives.