Remove the Trouble Makers

The narcissist is the happiest when they are starting fights. They poke at their target until they get a reaction and then they say, "look how you are", or "you are too sensitive" or even more frustrating, "I was just joking", when you attempt to defend yourself.

The devil has many tactics but this one is the most diabolical of all, it catches the target off guard and the initial response when we are verbally attacked is to defend ourselves. It is very deceitful full of provocation without cause.

The clue in dealing with these manufacturers of arguments and fights, is to refuse to play along, get up and leave and from that moment on stay away from them.

Never respond to the narcissist, as crazy as it may seem, when we respond, those in the room who did not see the whole thing will assume we did something wrong and the narcissist is the victim. The one who gets upset is the one others see as the trouble maker. I have seen this many times in my life, the narcissist pokes and pokes and pokes, the first two times we tell them to stop and they won't, then the third time we get up in their face and yell at them. At that point the narcissist has a subtle look of glee on his face as though he was the cat that just caught the canary. It pleases and feeds the narcissist when we react to their abuse.

God described these people in 2 Timothy 3:1-5, in verse 5 He clearly told us "from such get away."

2 Timothy 3:1-5
“Difficult Times Will Come”
"3 But realize this, that in the last days difficult times will come.
2 For men will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, revilers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy,
3 unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good,
4 treacherous, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, 5 holding to a form of godliness, although they have denied its power; Avoid such men as these."

The devil is continually manufacturing ways to cause us to lose our calm and joyful demeanor in order to discredit our Christianity. The narcissist loves to make believers look bad so others will not listen to the target.

I some cases these narcissists are people who claim they are Christians, their purpose is to make themselves look like better Christians than we are, they must always be elevated above others. If they have no reason to appear elevated they will invent some.

The best way to handle these devilish people is clearly stated in the Bible.

1. Get away from them as we see in 2 Timothy 3:5
"5 Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away."

2. Refuse to respond to the fool: Proverbs 26:3-5
"…3 A whip is for the horse, a bridle for the donkey, And a rod for the back of fools. 4 Do not answer a fool according to his folly, Or you will also be like him. 5 Answer a fool as his folly deserves, That he not be wise in his own eyes.…"
First we do not answer a fool, and that is what his foolishness deserves, no answer and no reaction.

3. Make a practice of avoiding these people.
2 Corinthians 6:16-17 "…16 What agreement can exist between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God. As God has said: “I will live with them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they will be My people.” 17“Therefore come out from among them and be separate, says the Lord. Touch no unclean thing, and I will receive you.” "

The best way to handle a fool who loves to fight is to refuse to engage at all on any level, learn not to speak, learn to respond by leaving and do not react.