If we are deliberately heaping hot coals to make others feel guilty about something, then we are sinning. God told us to be kind and it will heap hot coals but He never told us to be kind for the purpose of heating hot coals.
It's important to remember this, because if we are deliberately being kind for the purpose of making someone feel guilty then we are operating from pride and self will.
If we are loving people we do things to please God and to do no harm to others, not to prove a point or manipulate the feelings and reactions of others.
To attempt to manipulate others through fake kindness is a self-focus and an attempt to play God. Loving people do not wish harm on others to elevate themselves.
Romans 13:10
"Love does no wrong to a neighbor; therefore love is the fulfilling of the law."
Romans 12:14-18 says,
"14 Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. 15 Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. 16 Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position.[a] Do not be conceited.17 Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone. 18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone."
God never said to do loving harm to others so they will feel guilty. He placed the onus on us to be kind and loving, leaving the consequences to Him.
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