Admitting and Ignoring Feelings is the Key to Rational Reasonable Reactions to Life

The only way to keep from acting on our feelings is to admit we have them.

Those who cannot admit their feelings will ultimately act upon them. These people are controlled by feelings rather than by reasonable rational facts.

It is feelings-oriented people who justify bad behavior.

Feelings come and go and are often inaccurate, if we ignore them we will act them out.

Honesty and integrity drive us to self-reflect so that we are able to admit what we are feeling to resist the urge to act according to them.

It is false feelings that lead people to become irrationally angry at someone for doing or saying what is reasonable and normal.

I have seen often in my life and at times when I was less mature I would think something was wrong because of feelings only to realize when I pondered what happened that my feelings led me to believe something that wasn't true. Narcissists use manipulation to encourage bad feelings in others, it is a control mechanism for them.

It is human nature to interpret relationships based on our own prejudices rather than on the facts. Sadly in our culture today often we are not allowed to discuss things to determine the truth. There is resistance to open honest communication because of the fear of finding out that perhaps we might be wrong and we would have to confess that we were wrong to heal a relationship.

It could be too that the resistance to honest open communication is because those who refuse to be open and honest fear their flaws will be discovered while they have a desperate need to feel special and superior it prevents self-reflection and empathy toward others.

So instead of humbling themselves to find out the truth many individuals just assume what they want to believe and refuse to admit and discuss matters. This is agonizing for those who want to resolve problems but are immediately met with rage when asking to have a conversation.

The culture of anger is increasing because of the selfish resistance to honest open conversations with the welfare of the other person in mind. Instead of approaching someone with a concern for their well being the narcissists approaches those they wish to control with angst to immediately have control over their victim. They are not interested in resolving difficult relationships they are only interested in dominating and winning over others.

Since the culture is deeply insecure and self-oriented there is a fear of honest and open conversation, it is discouraged in favor of superficial platitudes that produce nothing significant in the growth of relationships.z

Jesus Christ is always about relationships that flourish because those involved love one another. He plainly states that deferring to others is preferable to using and dominating them.

1 Corinthians 13:4–7

"Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."

When we approach someone with a concern it ought to be because we love them, not because we need to win over them.

Philippians 2:3 "

"Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility consider one another as more important than yourselves;"

Dominating and manipulating others is not even a thought in the mind of a loving born-again Christian. The heart of the believer in Christ is always the welfare of others.

John 13:34-35 "…34 A new commandment I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you also must love one another. 35 By this everyone will know that you are My disciples, if you love one another.”

1 Corinthians 13 1

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth."

There isn't much love in the world today and this is sad, but we can be loving ourselves, not allowing the culture to shape us into their mold.

1 John 3:14

We know that we have passed from death to life, because we love our brothers. The one who does not love remains in death.

1 John 4:20

If anyone says, "I love God," but hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen.

Acts 4: 31-33 31 "After they had prayed, their meeting place was shaken, and they were all filled with the Holy Spirit and spoke the word of God boldly.

32 The multitude of believers was one in heart and soul. No one claimed that any of his possessions was his own, but they shared everything they owned.

33 With great power the apostles continued to give their testimony about the resurrection of the Lord Jesus. And abundant grace was upon them all."

There was no competition to be superior to one another in this most holy gathering. The love was so great that everyone cared more about the welfare of others than they did about themselves. Christ was truly pre-eminent in their hearts.

May we learn to go his way even if no one else comes with us.