Friday, May 16, 2025

Labels Mean Very Little Attitudes and Actions are Everything

"The Experts" in the psychology industry say that there is a particular criterion that diagnoses narcissism, and without those particular traits listed, one cannot be labeled a narcissist.
 
However, from my perspective, if someone is consistently rude, covert, and mean, it doesn't matter whether they are labeled or not; they still remain someone reasonable people would not enjoy considering their friends.
 
There have been times when I shared with someone a private thought because they seemed open and even asked questions, believing it would be held in confidence, only to find out later they shared that information with others, with a twist of their own interpretation.
 
When we see this happen, we know the person sharing the information, changing it to fit their desired narrative, is not a person who can be trusted with personal information.
 
Betraying our trust is a deal-breaker for a relationship. When we love people, we don't spend time judging every little thing, and we don't share sensitive things with those who love gossip. Making guesses about people without enough information is a tactic favored by the narcissist. And, with gossip, there is never enough truth expressed. They love to embellish tidbits of a story to make it sound worse than it is or to sound bad when it was actually good.
 
Proverbs 11:13: "A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy person keeps a secret."
 
Proverbs 20:19: "He who reveals secrets is a constant gossip; avoid the one who babbles with his lips."
 
Gossip is sharing information about others that has nothing to do with us. Sharing a story of something that happened to us is not gossip, but we must be careful with whom we share; there are few people in our day who will keep a confidence, share in our trials, and believe us when we are vulnerable.
 
James 3:14-16
"But if you harbor bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast in it or deny the truth. Such wisdom does not come from above, but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every evil practice."

Jealousy and envy are at the root of gossip that ultimately ruins the reputations of others and without understanding of the true events.
(Envy, wanting what others have, and jealousy is not wanting them to have it.)

1 Corinthians 3:3
"for you are still worldly. For since there is jealousy and dissension among you, are you not worldly? Are you not walking in the way of man?"

Ephesians 4:31
"Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, outcry and slander, along with every form of malice."

Proverbs 16:28
"A froward man soweth strife: and a whisperer separateth chief friends."
When we love one another, we are pleased about our friend's blessings, even sharing in those feelings of happiness for our friend."
 
Romans 12:15 "Rejoice with those who rejoice; weep with those who weep."

Galatians 6:1-3 "1 Brothers, if someone is caught in a trespass, you who are spiritual should restore him with a spirit of gentleness. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted. 2 Carry one another’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. 3 If anyone thinks he is something when he is nothing, he deceives himself.…"

John 13:34-35
"A new commandment I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you also must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are My disciples, if you love one another.”

Romans 15:1-2
"We who are strong ought to bear with the shortcomings of the weak and not to please ourselves. Each of us should please his neighbor for his good, to build him up."

1 Corinthians 12:25-26
"So that there should be no division in the body, but that its members should have mutual concern for one another. If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it."

When we live into the love of Christ, our walk with Christ will be sweet, and those we love will be blessed.

And finally, God's love is far different from man's love, it is selfless, enduring and resolution-oriented. 

1 Corinthians 13:4-8
"4 Love is patient, love is kind, it is not jealous; love does not brag, it is not arrogant. 5 It does not act disgracefully, it does not seek its own benefit; it is not provoked, does not keep an account of a wrong suffered, 6 it does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; 7 it keeps every confidence, it believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."

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