Hurting People Don't Hurt People, Mean People Hurt People

I have never believed "hurt people hurt people" because many people I have known who were hurt by family were actually kinder than those who were mean and rude to them, because they didn't like it. We choose the character and mentality we like. Those who are using ill-treatment as an excuse to be mean to others are pretending they deserve to be rude and mean because someone did it to them.

Think about it, does being rude and mean to those who have not harmed you because someone else was mean and rude to you make any sense at all? It makes more sense to feel revenge toward the person who did the harm if one is predisposed to revenge.

Saying "hurt people hurt people" is like saying, if we are to be logical, "those who have been treated well treat others well." I know this is not true. I have met many people who were treated very well, who enjoy dominating and abusing others. How we treat people is a choice; no excuses will fly with me.

I have also met people who take a minor comment that was meant to bless and turn it around, pretending it was wrong to say, merely because they didn't like the person with whom they were conversing.

People who are kind will often draw to them the abusers who manipulate and exploit their kindness. Mean people seek out people to control; if they cannot control someone, they will move on to someone else they think they can control.
And, worse yet, when an abuser discovers they cannot control someone, they will gossip to turn others against them. Abusers always need someone on their side; they must have followers who validate their bad behavior.

Confusion is the goal of those who emotionally and spiritually abuse. They use covert means to disregard someone who is predisposed to thinking the best of others. Those who are abused often doubt what is happening because they cannot conceive of ever being nasty and cruel to anyone, so they think someone else "must not have meant that" or "maybe I heard that wrong."

God has given us commands about love and kindness because we have a choice to be righteous or to be unrighteous. No one is automatically anything based on instinct or manipulation from others.

There are cultural and genetic aspects of character flaws, but they can be overcome with Christ. When He changes us into a new creation, He gives us the ability to be what we should be because of His Holy Spirit in us.

2 Corinthians 5:17 "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!".

Ephesians 2:1-3 "1 And you were dead in your trespasses and sins, 2 in which you used to walk when you conformed to the ways of this world and of the ruler of the power of the air, the spirit who is now at work in the sons of disobedience. 3 All of us also lived among them at one time, fulfilling the cravings of our flesh and indulging its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature children of wrath.…"

There is an irrational and childlike mentality that walks according to their immature fleshly nature. Often, people like this learn over the years what works in the culture and what does not, so they modify themselves to fit in. However, as they grow old, they stop caring if they fit in and regress to their authentic self, controlled by their flesh and the devil.

Those who follow their hearts or their cultural norms instead of Christ will be led into reactions according to their feelings instead of rational thinking that leads to reasoned actions or words. In other words, they are at the mercy of their sinful nature and the ploys of the devil.

It is not true that "hurt people hurt people" any more than "people who are treated well automatically treat others well." People operate according to the heart bent, whether loving and kind or hateful and mean. They choose every day to rise from their beds and be who they choose to be.

2 Corinthians 4:4
"The god of this age has blinded the minds of unbelievers, so they cannot see the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God."

1 John 5:19
"We know that we are of God, and that the whole world is under the power of the evil one."

Colossians 3:6-7
"Because of these, the wrath of God is coming on the sons of disobedience. When you lived among them, you also used to walk in these ways."

The wrath of God is on the disobedience because of their choice to reject Christ, and His blessing is on the born-again believer because of their choice to be changed by Christ.

It's all about our choices!!!!