Judging the Parenting of Others is a Sin

There are those who preach that we are responsible for how our children turn out. This cannot be further from the truth. I have known many parents who were good parents, whose children hated the teachings of their parents.

We are responsible for what we do as parents, but the children are responsible for whether or not they receive it. We are not responsible for the results. Remember David and Absolum? David was a man after God's own heart, and yet his own son wanted to kill him to take his throne.

 
Ezekiel 18:19-21 "19 Yet you may ask, ‘Why shouldn’t the son bear the iniquity of his father?’ Since the son has done what is just and right, carefully observing all My statutes, he will surely live. 20 The soul who sins is the one who will die. A son will not bear the iniquity of his father, and a father will not bear the iniquity of his son. The righteousness of the righteous man will fall upon him, and the wickedness of the wicked man will fall upon him. 21 But if the wicked man turns from all the sins he has committed, keeps all My statutes, and does what is just and right, he will surely live; he will not die."

We are not robots programmed by others, we are presented with the truth and we make a choice, each one their own choice. I am always appalled by the judgments made against parents solely based on how the children turn out, without evidence of how the parents were raising them.

 
No one has the right or even ability to judge properly how others are raising their children.

 
I have also seen children who appeared to be raised badly who became born-again and turned out better than their families. Those who love to judge others about these things are sinning. This is the judgment God told us not to engage in, and definitely not pass on our ideas to others; this would be called gossip.

Our culture and extended families have much pull on our children; it is impossible to completely isolate them from the culture. In our day, culture often has a greater pull on children than parents do.

 
Also, let's not forget that the spouses of the children have tremendous influence when the spouses become the most important person in the lives of the children.
I have known children who loved and admired their parents until the children married, and suddenly, the children developed anger against the parents that was not there before, influenced by their spouse.

 
There are so many life variables with family that it is impossible to judge why a child becomes what they become. Also, keep in mind that parents cannot take the credit for the good behavior of their children. Their behavior is based on their choices, not on the quality of their parents.

 
There are bad children who were raised by good parents and there are good children who were raised by bad parents.

 
Yes, parents are responsible before God to do what is right, they are accountable for themselves, but they are not responsible for the choices of their children.

 
So, let's stop judging the parenting of others; instead, we are to come alongside and be supportive of the parents when the children are not respectful. Coddling disobedient adult children is a sin, fostering dishonor toward the parents.

 
Ephesians 6:1-3 "1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2“Honor your father and mother” (which is the first commandment with a promise), 3 that it may go well with you and that you may have a long life on the earth.”