I don't have a problem with people who disagree with me; I have a problem with those who treat me disrespectfully because of the disagreement. Not that I care that they were disrespectful, but there is a sense of annoyance that nothing will be able to be resolved. When someone does not respect you, they will be dedicated to twisting everything you say and do to cause you trouble.
They did this with Jesus Christ and all the apostles. They accused them of things that were not true to discredit them with others and to silence them entirely.
When someone treats you disrespectfully because you do not agree with them, they are showing you that their only aim is to win over you, manipulating and dominating your emotions. They do not care about you or the relationship; they only care that you are painted as the evil one.
These people do not care about truth or about building a relationship to reach common ground; they only care that you are seen as "less than" them.
There are certain things that are relationship destroyers, such as false modesty, insincere flattery, and intense anger when a disagreement arises. Jealousy is another relationship killer, there is no possible solution when jealousy is in play.
People who are this volatile and unable to discuss something rationally are deeply insecure, self-absorbed, and ruinous to Spiritual and emotional maturity. God tells us to avoid them; nothing good comes from this sort of competitiveness.
Proverbs 29:5 "A man who flatters his neighbor spreads a net for his feet"
Titus 3:9-11 "9 But avoid foolish controversies, genealogies, arguments, and quarrels about the law, because these things are pointless and worthless. 10 Reject a divisive man after a first and second admonition, 11 knowing that such a man is corrupt and sinful; he is self-condemned."
2 Timothy 3:1-5 Difficult Times Will Come
3 But realize this, that in the last days difficult times will come.
2 For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, slanderers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy,
3 unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good,
4 treacherous, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God,
5 holding to a form of godliness although they have denied its power; AVOID SUCH PEOPLE AS THESE."
We are encountering many of these people within the church system. They are rarely disciplined or corrected so their influence permeates through the rest of the gathering.
Galatians 5:9 "9 A little leaven leavens the whole lump of dough."
Anyone who must feel superior and special will never make a good companion. There will always be the "eggshell dance", meaning you will sense that you must be abnormally careful around them because you never know when the next rage will emerge.
By the way, rage is not always loud, yelling, and demeaning; sometimes it comes in the form of passive aggression. Passive aggression is when someone does little irritating things to cause a reaction in you and then plays the victim when you call it out.
The best thing to do when we discover someone is a rager or a passive-aggressive type is to avoid them as much as possible.
When we have to be in the company with them, we avoid any conversation at all with them. Every word uttered with these kinds of people is designed to cause a reaction so they can claim something about us that is not true.
God has shown me to treat everyone with respect, even when they did not show respect toward me. What they do is on them; my goal is to walk in a Christlike manner, without the need to explain myself to anyone who will likely misuse my words against me.
It is sad that we have to address these matters of deliberate miscommunication and distressed relationships but it must be doen so that we learn what they look like and how to handle everything in the Spirit of Christ.
Christ experienced rebellious and hateful people and so will we.
Hebrews 12:2 "Looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God."
His shame is also our shame because we walk with Him.
Romans 1:18-32 "For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who by their unrighteousness suppress the truth. For what can be known about God is plain to them, because God has shown it to them. For his invisible attributes, namely, his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly perceived, ever since the creation of the world, in the things that have been made. So they are without excuse. For although they knew God, they did not honor him as God or give thanks to him, but they became futile in their thinking, and their foolish hearts were darkened. Claiming to be wise, they became fools,"
Pray for those who walk in rebellion that their eyes would be opened, while at the same time avoiding becoming trapped in their cycle of manipulation.
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