Today, I am feeling blessed to have had many prayers answered over the years. Most answered prayers have been about understanding life and God's response to it.
I have no ill feelings toward anyone who has acted disrespectfully toward me; I do feel sorry for them.
As Joseph once said to his estranged brothers, "You meant it for evil but God meant it for good."
I even love the people who have treated me with contempt because I know they were only acting out of the sadness and insecurity of their own hearts.
Those who judge others over small matters and innocent statements do it because they need to feel superior to others. They are deeply addicted to a sense of dominance and control over others.
They especially target people who have disagreed with them at some time, even though they agreed on other things; that one time was enough to foster contempt in their hearts. They can no longer see anything good in the target of their hate.
When we love people, we interpret the object of our love with grace. Seeking to discover the intent behind actions and emotions rather than automatically choosing a negative intent. We interpret everything with grace unless blatantly obvious.
A narcissist can take any innocent and even good comment or reaction and spin it to look bad. We see this in the media all the time. They will never be direct in their communication, always questioning things that do not need questioning, to minimize and diminish the kind act.
A hypothetical example of this might be a person giving a cookbook as a gift to a friend, knowing the friend enjoys cooking. The friend gossiped to others that the book was a hint to her that she was a bad cook and that she needed to be taught how to cook.
There are many examples like this that we could all remember experiencing. Rather than the friend enjoying the thoughtful gift, perhaps even cooking something from it to share with their friend, the narcissist turns the whole experience into gossip and degradation.
Every gift to someone like this is seen as manipulation or as a message meant to embarrass them. They ignore all the good things their target does and twist innocent things into bad.
Lessons like this bless me. I no longer feel any hurt or anger when I see it because I know the person acting this way has a deeper spiritual and emotional problem that emerges to make themselves feel better about themselves. This allows me to treat them with kindness so that I do not engage in becoming like them.
Proverbs 26:4-5 "4 Do not answer a fool according to his folly, or you yourself will be like him. 5 Answer a fool according to his folly, lest he become wise in his own eyes."
Proverbs 23:9 "Do not speak to a fool, for he will despise the wisdom of your words."
2 Timothy 2:23-24 "But reject foolish and ignorant speculation, for you know that it breeds quarreling. And a servant of the Lord must not be quarrelsome, but must be kind to everyone, able to teach, and forbearing."
Knowing the Bible principles for dealing with difficult people frees us from our emotions and pride. God also gives us permission to avoid people who engage in these negative interpretations, causing trouble not only for us but also for others.
The devil wants us to focus on ourselves, feelings, and retorts that only give the rude person an excuse. When we respond in a Christlike way, a mild rebuke or total silence, and then move away from it, we are free from the guilt of having reacted to the rudeness with more rudeness. The perpetrator gets nothing from us out of their personal attack, and we walk away guilt-free.
Our freedom from guilt is far more valuable than attempting to help someone understand something they have no intention of understanding, no matter how good the response.
There is a saying that I have heard that makes sense, especially in these last days of rebellion: "There are those who are dedicated to misunderstanding you." I would add, with the intent of falsely accusing us to elevate themselves.
We are living in the times of 2 Timothy 3, and I am convinced it has been this way for 2000 years since Christ left. The last days have been around this long, but these mentalities have grown exponentially during our lifetime. Israel is the benchmark of the very end of the end days, having been regathered to their land in 1948.
2 Timothy 3:1-5 "But realize this, that in the last days difficult times will come.
2 For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, slanderers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy,
3 unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good,
4 treacherous, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, 5 holding to a form of godliness although they have denied its power; avoid such people as these."
Many of these people will have a form of religion but deny God in their lifestyle and attitude. They will say they are Bible believers but violate much of God's Word, negating their claim.
Do not despair in these last days, but rejoice that this mess is almost over for the believer who has trusted in Christ. We will be going home soon. May we remain faithful to God's Word even if no one else within our influence does.
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