We are watching a generation of adult children who are rebellious in their own hearts, concocting in their own minds reasons why their parents were not perfect enough, and punishing them with isolation from their grandchildren.
Adult children nowadays are jealous and entitled; they do not want their children, our grandchildren, to love us. They desire that their children only love them.
The emotional and verbal abuse of grandparents violates the command of God to "honor father and mother." This has nothing to do with gifts on holidays; it has to do with valuing them, caring for them in their elder years when they cannot care for themselves, and speaking well of them to the grandchildren.
Sadly, many adult children model to their children the disrespect for their own parents that causes the grandchildren to disrespect their grandparents too. It is true that "more is caught than taught."
If the adult children show up for holidays but speak against their grandparents or roll their eyes in covert disapproval in front of the grandchildren, the grandchildren will do what their parents do. No words even have to be said; just the mocking disapproval over small and silly things is enough to cause grandchildren to be rude and impolite in subtle ways.
When grandchildren observe their parents dismissing grandparents, they, too, will dismiss them.
I have heard adult children complain that the grandparents don't pay enough attention to the grandchildren. I laugh a little at this because what the parents are modeling in front of the grandchildren is the way the grandchildren are acting toward the grandparents, and it does not foster a desire to be with them.
Who wants to be around grandchildren who have no desire to see you except to fulfill their obligation for a short visit, just to say they did it?
When the grandchildren model this subtle disrespect toward the grandparents that was taught to them by the parents through example, it is not likely that the grandparents will enjoy the company of their grandchildren.
Many grandparents are being treated with dismissiveness, a lack of excitement to see them, and even demanding that the grandparents measure up to their own idea of perfection.
We are not obligated to spend time with disrespectful, entitled adult children or grandchildren.
Every time you see your adult children, they criticize everything you say and do, petty to the core, then we lose the desire to be around them. Who would want these kinds of people for our friends?
When good things happen, and the adult children act bored, dismissive, or even irritated, then they are not people who can be our friends.
I love people, but that does not mean I will tolerate consistent emotional and spiritual abuse. We are living in times when adult children call it love to show up but bring with them disdain and contempt for us. They only want to appear to love us, for their own glory, but they do not know what love is God's way.
The following verse tells us to walk away when we bring the gospel, and those hearing reject us. This is applicable when we want to live out our Christianity, and our children work to undermine or deny it.
Matthew 10:14 "And if anyone will not receive you or listen to your words, shake off the dust from your feet when you leave that house or town."
Luke 10:16 "Whoever listens to you listens to Me; whoever rejects you rejects Me; and whoever rejects Me rejects the One who sent Me.”
When adult children choose to disrespect us, we are not obligated to make them our friends; they are divisive and destructive to our walk with Christ.
Titus 3:10-11 "Reject a divisive man after a first and second admonition, knowing that such a man is corrupt and sinful; he is self-condemned."
Matthew 10:40,41 "He that receiveth you receiveth me, and he that receiveth me receiveth him that sent me."
We are living in an age in which adult children have disrespected their parents, but don't believe they have; they have little understanding of what it is to honor father and mother.
There are abusive mothers or fathers who cause drama and trouble in the family in a big way, but this is not an article about them. This article is about normal parents who did their best with all their warts and flaws, who generally protected and cared for their children as they were growing up.
May Christian parents who love their children learn to let go of rebellious entitled children when they disrespect, while praying for them. If the children refuse to respect, then it is time to get on with your life, serving the Lord without the distraction of unnecessary family drama.
Since we are no longer responsible for adult children, we must let them go if they refuse to respect us. Set a boundary. If they refuse, then set another more extreme boundary; if that does not work, then ban them from your life.
We lived without children once in the beginning of our marriage, we can live without them now if they reject us because of our boundaries.
Lastly, moving on from rebellious and hateful adult children does not mean we do not love them, we do!!! We just cannot live with the mean-spirited hatred they bring with them. We wish it could be different, but we accept when we cannot have them while leaving them to God.
2 Timothy 3:1-5 "Godlessness in the Last Days
3 But understand this, that in the last days there will come times of difficulty.
2 For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy,
3 heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good,
4 treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God,
5 having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. Avoid such people."
Look at verse 4, which tells us that these people will claim to be godly, but they deny Christ by their resistance tothe word of God.
Look at what the 5th verse in this passage says: "Avoid such people."
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