We need to Use the "If's" and "perhaps" sparingly and Only in Truth Based on the Bible

I never do "ifs"! "What if this had happened?" "Perhaps it was this way or that." "It could have been this or that."

These are useless phrases that are fodder for gossip and false doctrine.

If we cannot say for sure that something happened, never saw it for ourselves, or never had two or three witnesses, then we should not repeat it.

If we didn't see what happened and only had the testimony of one person, then we should never repeat it.

Never base your actions or attitude on things you cannot prove or that are none of our business.

Never base your actions toward someone on the conversation between two other people when you were not a part of it. Holding grudges against people based on one testimony or interaction that you were not a part of is gossip and useless except to destroy relationships.

Proverbs 16:27-29 "…27A worthless man digs up evil, and his speech is like a scorching fire. 28A perverse man spreads dissension, and a gossip divides close friends. 29A violent man entices his neighbor and leads him down a path that is not good."

Gossip that divides people is considered violence in God's eyes.

Proverbs 6:12-14 "A worthless person, a wicked man, walks with a perverse mouth, winking his eyes, speaking with his feet, and pointing with his fingers. With deceit in his heart he devises evil; he continually sows discord."

James 3:16 "For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every evil practice."

Proverbs 17:9 "Whoever conceals an offense promotes love, but he who brings it up separates friends."

Proverbs 11:13 "A gossip reveals a secret, but a trustworthy person keeps a confidence."

If you have confided in a friend a struggle you had and that friend gossiped to someone else about it, then that friend cannot be trusted ever again, unless there is confession of sin and true sorrow over the transgression.

James 3:5-6 "In the same way, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it boasts of great things. Consider how small a spark sets a great forest ablaze. The tongue also is a fire, a world of wickedness among the parts of the body. It pollutes the whole person, sets the course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell."

James 3:8-10 "but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With the tongue we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, this should not be!"

Romans 16:17-18 "Now I urge you, brothers, to watch out for those who create divisions and obstacles that are contrary to the teaching you have learned. Turn away from them. For such people are not serving our Lord Christ, but their own appetites. By smooth talk and flattery they deceive the hearts of the naive."

May each born-again believer seek to follow God's Word, not just know it or use it to justify their haughtiness. When we confess in our hearts before the sin in our heart becomes an action we will not have to confess it to anyone but God.

After the sin in our heart becomes an actions then we have the embarrassing work of confessing it openly to those we have offended in order to reconcile a relationship. The relationship cannot be mended until there is confession. Admitting ones flaws and sins is the only way to Spiritual and emotional growth that moves us toward greater holiness.

1 John 1:9 "9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous, so that He will forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness."

If we want to be free from guilt and full of joy the only way to do it is to keep close accounts when we mess up, confess to be cleansed and start again without the sin we confessed.