I have felt led to clarify something that could be misunderstood by those reading my posts.
I am convinced that secular psychology has almost nothing to offer the believer other than their ability to observe the obvious.
When a believer witnesses a person doing evil we know that the evil they do is coming from their heart, they are doing their dastardly deeds for no other reason except to follow their sinful heart. Often that heart is full of pride, believing they have the right to do anything they want and when thwarted by others, they will lash out in their flesh, permeated by the sin within.
Secular psychology can observe the bad behavior of someone and call it bad, but they assign wrong motive to it. Since their premise is that all mankind is basically good, then the motives of the evil person must be that they are angry about what others did to them.
To assign innocence to an evil doer because others may have done them evil is ludicrous at best. What about the evil that he does to others, do they get to blame him for his actions against them?
Secular mankind looks for excuses based on evolution, that man can do no wrong, he is only another animal, that is merely being stimulated to follow his instinct based on his experiences.
God says exactly the opposite, man is not basically good, rather, man is basically evil. We see this in our daily lives. Mankind does not retaliate against a perceived wrong, that may not even have been a wrong, he is just plain selfish and wants his way no matter who he has to roll over to get it.
Jeremiah 17:9 "The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?"
Proverbs 29:1 "1 A man who hardens his neck after much reproof Will suddenly be broken beyond remedy. 2 When the righteous increase, the people rejoice, But when a wicked man rules, people groan.…"
Secular psychology can tell us what is happening, but they do not have the right answers as to why it is happening nor do they have the solution to the sin-sick souls of men. They can, at times give methods that seem to work for awhile, but they cannot fix the soul of a man.
Christ is the only One Who can fix the soul of a man, creating in him a new creature, completely changed. Removing all evil desires with residue that is dealt with as we are being cleansed. Even though believers do sin, they hate that they sin and their heart wants to make things right again through confession and forsaking.
1 Corinthians 5:17 " 17Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come. 18Now all these things are from God, who reconciled us to Himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation,"
Secular psychology wrongly instructs people that they will never be cured of certain sin, calling them diseases. All sin can be resolved through confession to Christ depending on Him to remove it from us, this takes faith.
When I speak of narcissism frequently, it is to help those who have been victims of it. Those who have been beaten down so severely that they no longer have a personality or the confidence to carry on in a normal fashion. I also speak of it, using a secular term to describe the passage in 2 Timothy 3:1-5. The seculars know the ailment, but they don't know the description of it comes from the Bible. They also cannot accurately assess the solution, which is Christ alone. In short they know the problem but they do not know the true cause nor do they have a solution that is permanent.
So the gist of the matter is that we should not look to secular psychology for our solutions, the Bible is our guide. Egypt has long been synonymous with sin and secularism, God tells us in His Word not to go to psychology for our help.
Isaiah 31:1 "Woe to those who go down to Egypt for help And rely on horses, And trust in chariots because they are many And in horsemen because they are very strong, But they do not look to the Holy One of Israel, nor seek the LORD!"
Remnant Definition: My thoughts
A small quantity of remaining leftovers. The part that is rejected and thrown away.
As believers we know from the Word that those who have trusted Christ have always been a remnant and always will be, compared to the population of the world.
We are the people who are despised, rejected, omitted and maligned frequently by those who are of the world. Our straight talk and bold confidence leaves us targets for those who love lies and deceit.
The good news is that we are in a foreign land on this earth, we are here with a mission, not to make it our home. We know that we will be moving on soon, our life is short and what we do here is with the goal of spreading the Word so that others may find the peace and salvation of the Lord as we have experienced.
Isaiah 10:20 "20 In that day the remnant of Israel and the survivors of the house of Jacob will no more lean on him who struck them, but will lean on the Lord, the Holy One of Israel, in truth."
Matthew 7:13-14 "13 “Enter by the narrow gate. For the gate is wide and the way is easy that leads to destruction, and those who enter by it are many. 14 For the gate is narrow and the way is hard that leads to life, and those who find it are few."
Romans 11:4-6 "…4But what is the divine response to him? "I HAVE KEPT for Myself SEVEN THOUSAND MEN WHO HAVE NOT BOWED THE KNEE TO BAAL." 5In the same way then, there has also come to be at the present time a remnant according to God's gracious choice. 6But if it is by grace, it is no longer on the basis of works, otherwise grace is no longer grace.…"
There was a day in Israel centuries ago when those who loved God thought they were all alone, they felt isolated and lonely, but God sought to comfort them by allowing them to know they were not alone entirely, there were others. Just like now, as the remnant experiences the effects of the great apostasy in the church, we sometimes think we are alone, notice how God has given us the internet to connect with those who love Him. We know we are not alone, we may have distance between us, but our hearts are connected by Christ Jesus!
What an exciting thought that is, to know that God cares enough about us to bring us all together in cyper-space, who would have ever guessed this was possible just 30 years ago.
We have every reason to rejoice in all of God's provision and loving care of each of us.
The unsaved have a very different idea of "good" than the righteous man does. Evil people believe it is good for a woman to act immorally, when she suffers the consequences of that sin, even becoming pregnant out of wedlock, it is, in their minds, good to kill the baby to return the mother to her former life without any responsibilities.
Believers know that the best thing is to avoid all sexual sin outside marriage, then the consequences of pregnancy will not happen, the baby will not be killed and when that woman chooses to marry before engaging in sexual activity, she will have a husband and any children from that union will be alive and having a father. Believers know that two parent families are vitally important to the welfare of the children.
The unsaved believe it is good to "shack up" without commitment. Believers know that shacking up is nearly a guarantee that there will be a split eventually, the children from that experience will be abandoned by one or both parents, leaving scars that cannot be removed. Anger rages in the heart of a child who has been treated so wrecklessly.
There is so much more about the faulty and selfish thinking of the unsaved, making bad good and good bad. Our culture can see the devastation of the thinking of the unsaved. Sadly we see people who claim to be believers falling in line with the world, feeling the effects on their families as they neglect the principles of God.
The only solution for those who have ignored God and His principles, is to become born again, changed in their very nature from the evil they are to the righteousness of Christ by the Holy Spirit.
Stacy Freeman
The greater portion a man has of the Spirit of Christ the more he seeks the good of all men.
Evil is now celebrated and righteousness disdained. That is our world and getting worse. I am so thankful I am a believer, even if it means to be rejected by the world. I could never want what they think they have.
Romans 5:1-5
"Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God.
More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us."
One of the very subtle tactics of the narcissist is to act as though we did something bad when we did something good. Often there is jealousy on the part of the narc when we accomplish something pleasing even if it is for them.
Normal kind, loving people appreciate acts of good intentions on their behalf. A reasonable person sees a kind act as something to be thankful for and enjoyed, even drawing the relationship closer. A narcissist will use the opportunity of a kind act to degrade and even humiliate the one who was benevolent, especially if their victim ever corrected or disagreed with them in the slightest terms.
A narcissist attempts to find something wrong in order to elevate themselves. They cannot tolerate anyone doing something that brings positive attention to anyone other than themselves, it distracts the others in the room from the narcissist.
Often the narcissists will work to undermine us if we have challenged them in any way, even the slightest correction or disagreement causes the narcissist to engage in emotional abuse, usually subtle so that others in the room do not notice.
Isaiah 5:20 "Woe to those who call evil good, and good evil; Who substitute darkness for light and light for darkness; Who substitute bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter!"
There is no profit in sharply rebuking the narc, they will only turn it around to make you the evil one in the eyes of others. The best tactic in dealing with these self aggrandized individuals is to seek God's Word for the answer. Here are some Scriptures that may help us to see the nature of the character of the narc and how to engage with them.
The best way to handle the narcissist is to first understand them according to God's Word.
Proverbs 18:2 "A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion."
Proverbs 29:11 "A fool gives full vent to his spirit, but a wise man quietly holds it back."
Proverbs 1:7 "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction."
Ecclesiastes 7:9 "Be not quick in your spirit to become angry, for anger lodges in the bosom of fools."
A narcissists is a fool, they enjoy and feed off of the pain and suffering of others. They laugh at the pratfalls of others but never laugh at their own. They enjoy watching their victim become angry and upset. The greatest victory in the mind of the narc is to cause divisions, separate friends and family while watching it all as though in a movie theater.
Proverbs 26:4 "Answer not a fool according to his folly, lest thou also be like unto him."
Proverbs 10:14 "The wise lay up knowledge, but the mouth of a fool brings ruin near."
Proverbs 29:9 "If a wise man has an argument with a fool, the fool only rages and laughs, and there is no quiet."
Never argue with a fool, when it is clear they are trying to draw us into a fight. They will consider themselves as having won, looming over their victim in superiority, as soon as someone is infuriated or frustrated.
We have all known people like this, their greatest aim is to be superior in the eyes of others, not realizing they are what the Bible calls a "fool."
We have seen them on facebook, they don't bring reasonable well thought out ideas, only superficial platitudes and name calling to elevate themselves, while frustrating all those looking on. They have won in their own minds if they have managed to get everyone fighting with everyone else including them.
Proverbs 14:7-9 "Leave the presence of a fool, for there you do not meet words of knowledge. The wisdom of the prudent is to discern his way, but the folly of fools is deceiving. Fools mock at the guilt offering, but the upright enjoy acceptance."
Moral of the story is, as soon as we discern that the person we are engaging with is a fool, it is a good idea to leave the discussion and for the one who owns the page to block them. "Going no contact" with the fool, or in modern terms the "narcissists", is the only course of action that returns our peace to us and saves friendships.
What is Your Career Question?
Does anyone know why people from other countries who ask to be our friends, want to know what we do for a living?
It seems like every time I get that question it is the second one after "how are you doing?"
Is it because they want to know if they can extract money from us? When I tell them that I am a homemaker, staying home to take care of my family, the next question is "what does your husband do?" I am beginning to think that these people want to ask for money or our career would not be the first thing they ask about.
As a believer it makes sense to me that the first thing one believer would ask another person would be "are you a follower of Christ?" That would make much more sense to me.
Is it possible that the whole world is infected with the disease of materialism? They think Americans are all wealthy, so they target us for funds?
When I see that question as the second question they ask, I am now blocking them. My "career" is not really very important in terms of the Christian life. The most important matter is that we have connected with like minded believers who share the Holy Spirit. Perhaps I am alerting the money mongers to the fact that the question about my career is becoming offensive to me. The career questions is a polite way of asking "how much money do you make?"
My career does not define who I am as a person, my walk with Christ does! So I guess I write this to point out that when "career" is the first things we are questioned about, I am suspect about the one writing, whether or not there is another question coming, "can I have your money?"
Just saying!!!
Proverbs 13:10
"Through insolence comes nothing but strife, But wisdom is with those who receive counsel."
Insolence: meaning boldly disrespectful!
Narcissists will be disrespectful, but claim their victim is the one being disrespectful. Remember, the narcissists doesn't play fair, nor do they have a conscience over how they harm others. They will lie against anyone who exposes their character. They will use covert and even blatant language to intimidate their victims, attempting to gain control over them.
When we meet a person who seems to delight in arguments we are probably encountering a narcissists. Beating others down in conversation is the favored tactic of the narcissist.
Narcissist definition: someone who has deeply elevated themselves above others, lacks empathy, does not do good deeds for others or does them to gain advantage or praise. They must win in any discussion. Discussions are never to gain truth, but merely to demonstrate superiority.
A fool (narcissist), hate correction raging to combat anyone who would attempt to inform them about anything. Since they believe themselves to be superior, they cannot receive criticism on any level. The response of the narcissists is to fight bitterly against anyone who will not elevate them or will dare to correct or instruct them.
Matthew 6:1 ""Beware of practicing your righteousness before men to be noticed by them; otherwise you have no reward with your Father who is in heaven."
2 Timothy 3:1-5 "3 But realize this, that in the last days difficult times will come. 2 For men will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, revilers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy, 3 unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, [a]haters of good, 4 treacherous, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God, 5 holding to a form of godliness, although they have denied its power; Avoid such men as these."
Proverbs 1:7 "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction."
We are meeting more of these in our day. Because of the teaching of self esteem in the past 50 years, our culture has created selfish, entitled, insolent, bratty and vindictive individuals who have little or no conscience and these are the adults who are raising our grandchildren.
There are more adult children and their parents who are estranged from one another than eve before, because we have an entire generation of adult children who have never learned honor and respect while thinking they know.
Ephesians 6:2 "“Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise),"
God said this would happen in the last days, continuing to increase in numbers and intensity of reaction, the narcissistic problem is growing. We see them in the shootings, the divorce rate, the murdering of babies, the mentality of laziness and entitlement and much more.
Things look pretty bad, but they will get worse. There is coming a time when adult children will put to death their ailing and elderly parents just to be free from any inconvenience they might bring.
My hope and prayer is that believers would begin to call things what they are, stop hiding behind the cloak of religion to justify silence on these things. Far too many people avoid the confrontation they expect to happen when they tell the truth. We need to call things what they are, give the remedy, which is Christ Jesus and take our lumps.
Yes many will reject our message, but there are some who will listen and benefit from it. In reality it isn't our message, it's God's message. Until believers begin to be obedient and honest, there can be no influence in the world, if we don't do it, who will.....the world?
