When someone desires to be above others, they are playing a role using a false self. No one is above another person, we have all had to come to Christ the same way, that is brokenness over our sinfulness, while seeking for Christ to change us into a new creation.
Once a person realizes how sinful they were before they were born again, they cannot hold an elevated opinion of themselves.
We do have confidence but it is not in us, it is in Christ and the joy we exude does not have to do with how good we feel about ourselves but rather how good is Christ.
The greatest freedom anyone can experience is the freedom to be who we are, admit our failings while trusting Christ for any needed changes.
Those who cannot admit their sinfulness are in bondage to a false self that they are continually having to show to others, the hiding is stressful. Often the stress comes out in attacking others for things that most wouldn't even think were wrong.
When someone has a false self, they must squash anything in others that might expose that false self. Others may be living a life that shines it's light on the false self, then the objective of the narcissist is to find something wrong with their target to darken them so the light is dimmed.
One way to darken one who lives their true self is to provoke them with irrational words or anger, causing them to become irritated or angry. This "weakness" in us as they would see it, is their excuse that we are the problem and they are the victim. The narcissist always focuses on the actions of others, real or imagined, as though they are never the fault, always the victim, even though they provoked the whole mess.
Innocent comments are twisted to seem mean or hateful, this is the way narcissist process information about those they seek to ruin. They often use half truths and out and out lies to justify their own contemptuous behavior.
No one can dim our light if we don't let them. When we are innocent, have not committed any sin, then we don't have to agonize over the misguided reactions of those who choose to view us as evil in their own minds.
All the apostles and Christ Himself were lied against by those who didn't like the message they brought. Narcissists always hate those who shine the light of Christ on their evil spirit.
Often we don't even have to say or do anything, just our lifestyle and our joy is enough to enrage the devil that lives in these people. Even if the devil does not possess them, he deeply twists their thinking to believe what is not true.
Just as he deceived Eve in the garden with sinful thoughts, he does today in the minds of many around us. When we walk with Christ we can see when he is attempting to twist our minds and resist him with Scripture, just as Christ did when He was tempted in the desert.
When we know what is going on, we can detach ourselves from the antics of the narcissist and still love them enough to give them the gospel. If they resist, we do what Christ did and that is to walk away.
The devil has many tactics in his bag of tricks, if we are not awake, know the Bible and walk with Christ, we could be sucked into the nonsense.
Thankfully our solution is really quite simple, know God's Word, ask Him for wisdom and understanding and then do whatever He tell us.
John 14:29-31 "…29 And now I have told you before it happens, so that when it does happen, you will believe. 30 I will not speak with you much longer, for the prince of this world is coming, and he has no claim on Me. 31 But I do exactly what the Father has commanded Me, so that the world may know that I love the Father. Get up! Let us go on from here.…"
Christ taught us that the devil has no power over us unless we let him, through stubbornness and ignorance.
When there is love in our hearts, we are not afraid to see the fragile side of someone, nor are we afraid for others to see our fragile side.
It is only Christ's love that can produce the kind of love that one person can have for another.
Criticism is not a problem, because when there is love, we know the one who does it is trying to help.
When we can put ourselves in the shoes of others, understanding their pain, loving to be there to help and allowing them to help us, then we have found God's love.
Love is not mechanical out of duty, it is genuinely invested in the welfare of another person. Showing interest in their things, even engaging in it with them at times.
1 Corinthians 13:4-8 "Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away."
Ephesians 4:2 "with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love,"
1 Peter 1:22 Having purified your souls by your obedience to the truth for a sincere brotherly love, love one another earnestly from a pure heart,
1 John 4:7 "Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God."
The following verses tell us how much God loved us and what that looks like. If only we could be for others as Christ has been for us.
John 3:16 “For God so loved the world,that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life."
Romans 5:8 "but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us."
Romans 8:37-39 "No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord."
Galatians 2:20 "I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me."
1 John 3:1 "See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are. The reason why the world does not know us is that it did not know him."
Fighting and arguing for sport is sin!
Those that engage in arguing for sport are nothing more than baiters, attempting to show their prowess by starting an argument, whether they speak truth or not, merely to appear superior to others.
Believers in Jesus Christ discuss matters to discover or share truth, not merely to win anything.
Proverbs 29:9
"9 If a wise man has an argument with a fool,
the fool only rages and laughs, and there is no quiet."
There is no brokenness over sin when there isn't enough sorry to hate to return what harmed others.
Those who do not confess their sin or admit to feelings are those who never grow in holiness.
Transparency is only possible when there is humility and a disregard for appearances.
When we are sold out to Christ, we can admit everything, pray for cleansing and move forward in growth.
Transparency is the key to spiritual growth and healing.
James 5:15-16 "…15 And the prayer offered in faith will restore the one who is sick. The Lord will raise him up. If he has sinned, he will be forgiven. 16 Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man has great power to prevail."
It is impossible to develop a meaningful and lasting relationship with those who are more concerned about appearing righteous rather than actually being so.
Narcissists are "uncooperative", they cannot stand to cooperate with others because that places the power in the hands of the others. Narcissists can't give up their power over people.
They are continually causing drama to be the center of attention and for the purpose of controlling the emotions of others.
In order to be cooperative there must be good communication, narcissists hate communication.
Communication leave us vulnerable to discovering we may need to change something or compromise for the sake of another. Narcissists hate to communicate.
They hate to communicate, cooperate or defer to others, they must always be the one in charge. It is agonizing working with someone like this because they have a tendency to take over a project that was not given to them to do.
Normal people will ask how they can help when requested to engage in a project with others. The narcissist won't ask they will merely begin ordering others even though no one appointed them the "go to person."
We saw all these elements in president Obama and first lady Michelle. Their way of controlling others was to continually mock and demean those who disagreed with them. Rather than elevating their own ideas, of which there were none or few, they would focus on devaluing the ideas of others. When they couldn't devalue the ideas of others they would devalue the person in some superficial and meaningless way.
We see this in family members all the time. Someone was mocked once by a narcissistic family member because of the things that hung on her wall. She liked lots of pictures and other wall hangings that coordinate with her decor. The mocking was because she "had too many", but that didn't make sense because what she had on her walls shouldn't matter to anyone but those who live in her house. Her husband told her many times how much he liked her decorating.
Why did this family member either ignore it to avoid making her feel badly, or compliment her ability to coordinate things well? The reason was that it wasn't really about her wall hangings at all, but about the need of the narcissist to mock and demean in order to elevate self.
It was obvious to this woman that the person who had demeaned her decorating had been primed by other family members who had gossiped about her. The narcissist felt empowered by the other narcissists in the room, realizing he had advocates for his mocking, leading him to feel safe in overt devaluing of the host.
I have witnessed many situations just like this one, no real reason for the mocking, nothing good was accomplished by it, the host didn't change how she decorated and any sense of kindness or love was reduced if present at all. In short, these mentalities destroy any chance of quality relationships, a sense of purposelessness and destruction are present.
Our culture is growing in the meanness of narcissism. As people remain full of themselves, full of arrogance that their way is the only way, we will see the destruction of relationships on every level in every place.
As we observe this devilish phenomena we don't have to be a part of it. We can remove ourselves from those who will not change this behavior and fill our relationship coffers with those who love the Lord, desiring to bless their brothers and sisters in Christ, while witnessing to others by their actions, that they belong to Christ.
1 Thessalonians 5:10-11 "…10 He died for us so that, whether we are awake or asleep, we may live together with Him. 11 Therefore encourage and build one another up, just as you are already doing."
Building one another in the faith does not have to do with flattery or praise, it has more the connotation of "you can do it", "keep going", while taking the time to help others in their particular ministries through discussion, prayer and Biblical encouragement.
Never, never, never demean or mock someone on completely unimportant matters. Never demean or mock anyone for mistakes, everyone makes them, it doesn't help to beat down someone for a mistake.
Deliberate mean actions and attitudes are another matter. We need to call this out, unless we know we are dealing with a fool who will make more trouble if we confront it. These people will flip the script, blame those who are the victims, absolving themselves of any wrong doing.
Proverbs 29:8-10 "…8 Scorners set a city aflame, But wise men turn away anger. 9 When a wise man has a controversy with a foolish man, The foolish man either rages or laughs, and there is no rest. 10Men of bloodshed hate the blameless, But the upright are concerned for his life.…"
Now there is a new date!!! Go figure!
The new date of the tribulation is September 22, OH....no another person said September 23rd. Oops, no I hear a July 2017 out there in cyber space too!!!
Come on folks, God never gave us a day or hour, he only told us we would know the season.
I would like to believe we are leaving in the rapture soon, but I cannot jump on any bandwagon that declares the exact day that it will happen.
Be careful my friends to resist placing your trust in anyone or any system other than Christ. If He wanted us to know the day and the hour He would have told us. He wants us to continue to live by faith right up until He snatches us away.
Matthew 24:36-37 "36 No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son, but only the Father. 37 As it was in the days of Noah, so will it be at the coming of the Son of Man.…"
In the days of Noah, what was it about those days that are similar to now? Two things, "everyone did what was right in their own eyes" and Noah preached for 120 years and "no one would listen to him."
Narcissists are embarrassed with manners. They act as though someone who has manners is weak and worthy of disrespect.
Proverbs 5:11-13 "…11 And you groan at your final end, When your flesh and your body are consumed; 12 And you say, "How I have hated instruction! And my heart spurned reproof! 13 "I have not listened to the voice of my teachers, Nor inclined my ear to my instructors!…"
Proverbs 18:2-3 "Fools have no interest in understanding; they only want to air their own opinions. Doing wrong leads to disgrace, and scandalous behavior brings contempt."
Proverbs 1:5-7 "Let the wise listen to these proverbs and become even wiser. Let those with understanding receive guidance by exploring the meaning in these proverbs and parables, the words of the wise and their riddles. Fear of the LORD is the foundation of true knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and discipline."
Proverbs 12:15 "The way of a fool is right in his own eyes: but he that hearkeneth unto counsel is wise."
Proverbs 18:13 "Spouting off before listening to the facts is both shameful and foolish."
Proverbs 18:6-7 "Fools’ words get them into constant quarrels; they are asking for a beating. The mouths of fools are their ruin; they trap themselves with their lips."
Proverbs 26:6-7 "Trusting a fool to convey a message is like cutting off one’s feet or drinking poison! A proverb in the mouth of a fool is as useless as a paralyzed leg."
Proverbs 10:23-25 "Doing wrong is fun for a fool, but living wisely brings pleasure to the sensible. Doing wrong is fun for a fool, but living wisely brings pleasure to the sensible. When the storms of life come, the wicked are whirled away, but the godly have a lasting foundation."
