There will always be those who attempt to squash our deepest desires. If your deepest desire is to follow after Christ, speak of Him often and share the wisdom He is giving you, you can expect haters to comes against you.
They will devalue your aspirations, your talents and your joy. These people will attempt to convince you that you are mean, selfish and uncompromising. They will negate most of what you say and do unless it agrees with them.
If you are seeking the Lord through the Holy Spirit, then you will be a target for those who are not doing this. Often I run into people who look at me as if I had two heads, they cannot wrap their minds around total dependence on the Holy Spirit and don't believe it is even possible.
Most "Christians" are depending on what is falsely called knowledge to determine their actions, not wisdom but their idea of knowledge. They have been trained in psychology to make sure that they say and do things that will draw people to them.
Christ did everything perfectly right and most people rejected Him.
Matthew 7:13-14 "13 Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the way that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. 14 But small is the gate and narrow the way that leads to life, and only a few find it."
When the goal is to get people to like us, we have gone down the wrong path. Getting people to like us does not mean they will like Christ. When we compromise truth or soften it in order to have a following that elevates us, we have compromised the gospel. The motives of a compromiser is in question. When we know the inevitable rejection that Christ promised those who love Him, we can expect most people to attack our character, our deliver and everything else except address the subject matter before them.
Mark 13:12-13 "…12 Brother will betray brother to death, and a father his child. Children will rise against their parents and have them put to death. 13 You will be hated by everyone on account of My name, but the one who perseveres to the end will be saved."
We know that in these end times we will find more people hostile to truth than those who want it. 2 Timothy 3 tells us all about the mentality of the people of the end times.
Never allow another human being to intimidate you into silence or allow them to affect your dependence on the Holy Spirit. There are those who will mock and demean you in order to cause frustration and compromise. It is the devil using these people to bring you into submission to his agenda, which is to intimidate into silence anyone who is walking with Christ.
It is the work of the devil to come against a born again believer who is speaking truth.
1 John 3:7-9 "…7 Little children, let no one deceive you: The one who practices righteousness is righteous, just as Christ is righteous. 8 The one who practices sin is of the devil, because the devil has been sinning from the very start. This is why the Son of God was revealed, to destroy the works of the devil. 9 Anyone born of God refuses to practice sin, because God’s seed abides in him; he cannot go on sinning, because he has been born of God.…"
We aren't having funerals or memorials! There is no Biblical basis for them, they cost a lot of money and people who haven't seen us in over 30 years would come to say goodbye to those who cannot hear them. It's nearly laughable to me.
There are are so many rituals and traditions that our culture does that has little to no value for Christ or anything else for that matter, except.....yep....temporary feelings, that's all.
Feelings are of little value, good sense and inclinations tell us things but even then we must evaluate them to be accurate.
The Lord has removed all the desire from me, for man made traditions that only waste time, money and effort and bring little if anything toward the cause of Christ.
However, I have been to memorials for Christians and was very blessed because everyone there was a strong believer in Christ. They were happy and spoke of their friend or relative who went home. They called it "his/her home going", it was a cheerful and blessed time. There was little discussion about the deceased person, mostly about Christ and it was more of a worship service than a memorial about the person. No one spoke to the deceased, they knew he/she couldn't hear, they felt no need for closure because we would see them again.
These times blessed me and I was glad for attending!
God said to fill our minds with truth. I am convinced that our minds do not discern between truth and fiction. We react on the basis of things that are not true all the time, thinking we are reacting correctly.
When we watch a sad movie we cry, even knowing it is not true, only a story. Our flesh reacts to stimuli, which is the reason we must be sure that we THINK, and THINK THINGS THROUGH, Biblically and logically.
Those who have a "Pollyanna" mentality have difficulty seeing truth. They must always see things in terms they like rather than reality.
It is only when we face reality that we can have solutions to problems and dilemmas. Aren't you glad that engineers build bridges and buildings based on science and logic rather than their hopes.
Our desires often deceive us. If we are an engineer building something and we operate according to our feelings, we might be tempted to leave out certain safety measures because they are hard to accomplish or they just don't look the way we would like, maybe they are too expensive. We wouldn't want to hire an engineer that does things the easy way or cannot admit his design needs more work when it is unsafe. And, yet we do this with relationship, we take the easy road. It is easier to dissolve the relationship, refuse to communicate than to do the hard work of admitting or confronting.
Relationships fail often in our world because the foundations for them are broken or gone. The foundational structure of a good relationship is conversation, truth and a desire to resolve things, even if we have to admit our wrong attitude or reaction.
Seldom in our world today are we allowed to discuss things, nor are those confronted, willing to admit anything. This is why we have the Catholic church sweeping dirt under the rug for decades, moving priests around to avoid the difficulties that come from resolving situations in truth. Protecting the organization takes priority over the individual who was harmed.
The Catholic church is not the only entity that does this form of lying. Many protestant pastors have their own dirt that they hide. intimidating into silence those who have been offended or grieved.
Mocking, intimidation and demeaning, even triangulation have been used to silence victims of verbal, emotional and spiritual abuse.
Time after time we have seen the victims voice the abuse they have endured, only to be treated as though they were lying or demented, even rejected by family members for daring to tell the truth.
It's just easier for everyone if the victim suffers alone, without helpers or allies who come alongside. You see, in our system, the allies would also be persecuted by those who choose not to believe the truth teller.
Thankfully God is our biggest ally, He sees all, knows all and has all the answers for us. Yes, the abuse often leaves scars for a lifetime, but those scars to do not overtake the believer, they are there, but they do not dictate our choices or our friends.
When we lean into Jesus Christ instead of our feelings, the feelings dissipate and we begin to see purpose in all that happens to us, even the ugly things. The devil cannot harm us when we know Who is in control and that is Jesus Christ.
Romans 5:3-5
"More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us."
I find that many facebook friends are enduring treatment that is mean and undeserved. They search their own hearts to see if there is something they have done and cannot find anything that would warrant this ill treatment.
They may have even done good to the very people who show contempt. It is irrational, there isn't a reason, but since we love God, we search our own hearts to fix anything that might be causing it. When we find nothing to fix we try anyway and are treated worse for our attempts at resolving the relationship problem. It is not always possible to resolve things because others refuse to dialogue or consider, they often lean into their feelings that really don't make sense.
Feelings are not facts and often bring us to a place that is based on nothing other than pride.
We might remind ourselves what Christ went through, and the apostles, then we have our answer, they did nothing to be tortured and persecuted for, except to tell the truth for the benefit of the hearers.
When we know the reason as described in 2 Timothy 3, it does make going through it a little easier. But the feelings of sadness sneak in occasionally when we are at a weak point. We should not trust our feelings, they will lead us into sin, but trusting Christ, that He has a marvelous plan for us to follow, it's all in the Bible, then we can be free from depression and oppression.
There is no oppression for those who love Christ, even when they are in jail for false accusations, they can sing praises to God for their new learning experience. When we are in prison, we must believe it is to bring the gospel to those who are there.
Acts 16:25-30 "25 But about midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns of praise to God, and the prisoners were listening to them;
26 and suddenly there came a great earthquake, so that the foundations of the prison house were shaken; and immediately all the doors were opened and everyone’s chains were unfastened.
27 When the jailer awoke and saw the prison doors opened, he drew his sword and was about to kill himself, supposing that the prisoners had escaped.
28 But Paul cried out with a loud voice, saying, “Do not harm yourself, for we are all here!”
29 And he called for lights and rushed in, and trembling with fear he fell down before Paul and Silas,
30 and after he brought them out, he said, “Sirs, what must I do to be saved?”"
If people would be honest they might realize they are more worried about losing friends and family than they are about hurt feelings. When we tell the truth in the mildest terms, many will become angry, raging, excluding us from family and gossiping behind our backs to cause division and chase away any friends we have left.
If this has been your experience then you are in good company. Christ and all the apostles were ill treated in this way. I notice something profound about the lives of the apostles, they don't speak of extended family, or rarely mention them.
It is interesting that extended family will make sure they make it to the birthday parties and ball games of those they love, but have no interest in those that are following hard after Christ.
In fact, most "Christians" I encounter today are embarrassed at the mention of the name of Christ outside the church building and by anyone but the pastor in the pulpit.
When our Christianity is based on how many times we go to a building called a "church" and whether or not we attend the potluck, perhaps it's not Christianity at all but traditions of men.
Mark 7:13 "13 Thus you nullify the word of God by the tradition you have handed down. And you do so” in many such matters."
When the "pastor" is the one perceived to have the wisdom and everyone under him must follow him, then those under him cannot be following Christ. We cannot follow a man and Christ too, we must choose.
The Holy Spirit lives in every believer, every believer has wisdom and calling from Him, no one is to be above another. There are leaders in the gathering but not one, several and they lead by the way that they serve in continually pointing us to Christ while encouraging us to use our Spiritual gifts.
Gifts are not assigned by man, they are given by the Holy Spirit and we are commanded to obey Christ while using our gifts. We may not always know what our gift is, but if it is from Christ we will be using it, whether we know it or not.
1 Corinthians 14:1 "1 Earnestly pursue love and eagerly desire spiritual gifts, especially the gift of prophecy. "
Don't worry about discovering your gift, just desire to be used of God and He will develop in you the gift He wants you to have. He will use us where He wants us and we will be compelled to do His Will, we will love what He has given us. I've never met anyone with a gift who forced themselves because they didn't enjoy it. We do enjoy doing what God has given us to do, it becomes a very part of our being, we cannot not do it.
John 16:13-14 "13 However, when the Spirit of truth comes, He will guide you into all truth. For He will not speak on His own, but He will speak what He hears, and He will declare to you what is to come. 14 He will glorify Me by taking from what is Mine and disclosing it to you.…"
We cannot be used of God if we fear losing friends and family. We must be so dedicated to Christ that displeasing Him becomes more disturbing to us than anything we might lose.
Galatians 1:9-11 "…9 As we have said before, so now I say again: If anyone is preaching to you a gospel contrary to the one you embraced, let him be under a divine curse! 10 Am I now seeking the approval of men, or of God? Or am I striving to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ. 11 For I certify to you, brothers, that the gospel I preached is not devised by man."
Those who love Christ are the same in private that they are in public. Their personality and actions are not different depending on who we are with.
Because they are authentic and the love is real, they do not alter who they are based on their audience.
1 Corinthians 15:58
"Therefore, my beloved brethren, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your toil is not in vain in the Lord."
Others do not dictate our character nor do they manipulate our reactions. When we can stand alone, steadfast for Christ, then we have trusted Christ.
Galatians 5:1
"It was for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery."
One does not have to go to a battle field in a war to be in a war zone.
Sometimes the war and trauma is in the home.
Sadly many who have gone through these war zones, attempt to tell their story and those hearing, especially if they are family members, do not believe the victim.
Because the abuse is subtle, covert and hidden from others, it must not exist to those who have not seen it for themselves.
Offenders often work to keep hidden their abuse, even courting the extended family members to believe they are good and wonderful people.
Victims look for validation among others, the others do not believe them so they are left with no allies, no helpers and no recourse except to get away and heal on their own.
There is hope for victims of covert abusers, God can take us through anything and can help us heal as we cry out to Him.
Churches, other organizations and preachers are often the perpetrators of these wicked acts, feeding off of one another to preserve ministries. In other words the ministry is far more important than the broken individual who was abused. The victim is thrown under the bus to save a wicked organization.
Thanks to Diane Langberg, I realize that others are seeing what God has been showing me about abuse victims and the organizations that protect the perpetrators.
I knew these things go on, having experienced a measure of it myself, not only in families under the radar but also in church organizations, but didn't know how many others saw it too.
The bottom line; never place anyone in authority or in the family structure, on a pedestal to the point where you can never tell the truth about them when they abuse. And, an organization is never more important than those who have been harmed by them.
When the "crowd" in an organization or a family structure protects the abuser for the sake of preserving the organization, or protecting the family, then the "crowd" is also culpable for the actions of the abuser.
Proverbs 1:15 "My son, do not walk in the way with them.
Keep your feet from their path,"
Ephesians 5:6-7 "6 Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience. 7 Therefore do not be partakers with them;"
