Friendships Based on God's Love

Friendships are not built on everything being easy the way we think we want them. Deep friendships happen because two people work through difficulties as they live out their strengths and weaknesses.

Ecc. 4:11-12 "…11 Again, if two lie down together, they will keep warm; but how can one keep warm alone? 12 And though one may be overpowered, two can resist. Moreover, a cord of three strands is not quickly broken."

When God is at the center of a relationship there is where the love is and the power of God.

Life is not easy, but is a wonderful thing when our spouse works with us through life to resolve problems and increase joy through good times.

My husband has often said; "a joy shared is double the joy and a grief shared is half a grief.

Those who believe life ought to be fun and easy all the time withholding the truth about their own life are those who cannot love anyone who does not enhance their life experience.

A young woman once told me she and her husband never fight. I told her that if this is true then someone is giving in to everything while the other one is taking everything. This is not a healthy marriage.

A healthy marriage is when problems arise because of disagreement both parties discuss feelings and actions legitimately confessing their heart while each person forgives as the other is repentant.

Without confession of sin there is no change in the heart that moves a couple forward. Without forgiveness in response to confession, there remains distrust.

It is impossible for two people coming from two different backgrounds, two different life experiences, and two different genders to maintain total cooperation without the trials of life. And, let's not forget two sinful people who need Christ.

Without trials, there is no spiritual and emotional growth, but it can only happen when both parties are humble enough to see themselves in truth. Many people are "play-acting" as though they are the perfect ones. This is the reason for so many divorces today, someone in the relationship thinks they are so special they deserve to be worshiped.

We can only genuinely love someone if we can admit their flaws and gifts and still be devoted to them. Since we know we are not perfect and that we fail people at times, it is easier to love those who disappoint us. We can only do this if we admit our own flaws.

The one who can never confess or admit their part in the relationship that failed will never be close to anyone and will ultimately end up using people for their own self-aggrandizement. They must continually find people to complain to about the other person so they have advocates. Sadly these advocates do not know the real story because all they have is the testimony of the one who can never say they are wrong. Both sides are never told or even needed in the practice of gossip.

Loving others has nothing to do with their performance it is unconditional this is why we weep with those who are confessing their flaws and sins and share the joy when they have accomplished something or God has worked in their lives. Here is what God says about love.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

"4 Love is patient, love is kind, it is not jealous; love does not brag, it is not arrogant. 5 It does not act disgracefully, it does not seek its own benefit; it is not provoked, does not keep an account of a wrong suffered, 6 it does not rejoice in unrighteousness but rejoices with the truth; 7 it keeps every confidence, it believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."

When love is based on performance that enhances ourselves only then it is not love at all, it is only manipulation to control others' perception of us.

Authenticity is very hard to find in our world today. Two generations have been taught how special they are and that they deserve everything they want. It is nearly impossible to reach them with the truth of Christ because the first thing on the agenda for witnessing Christ is to show people they are sinners in need of a Savior. Telling others they have sinned and are as "filthy rags" is a very unpopular message in our days of self-worship.

This is why God said we would be hated because of Christ. He brought a message of repentance from our sinful nature. Since most people are so full of self they are predisposed to making excuses for their evil behavior. If they are church-goers they hide their real self to pretend they are worthy of heaven.

Humility is nearly non-existent in our day. It takes humility, not the fake kind that pretends it in front of people but rejects it behind the scenes of the stage life they are acting out.

It is not hard for a discerning person to see the play-acting as compared to authentic humility. Humility brought about through submission to God is demonstrated in the fruit of the Spirit only discernable by Spirit-filled Christians.

1 Corinthians 2:14 "

"But a natural person does not accept the things of the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him; and he cannot understand them, because they are spiritually discerned."

Those who walk in deception through play-acting do not even know that those who are filled with the Spirit of God can see exactly what is going on, these actors can only fool those who are just like themselves.

1 Corinthians 2:12-15

"12 Now we have not received the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, so that we may know the things freely given to us by God.

13 We also speak these things, not in words taught by human wisdom, but in those taught by the Spirit, combining spiritual thoughts with spiritual words.

14 But a natural person does not accept the things of the Spirit of God, for they are foolishness to him; and he cannot understand them, because they are spiritually discerned.

15 But the one who is spiritual discerns all things, yet he himself is discerned by no one."

Beware of the Pretenders Mine-fields

Beware of "Christians" who advise a woman to look at pornography in obedience to her husband. The one who pressures the woman to sin is from the devil, whether it is the husband or the false church.

I was appalled many years ago when a supposedly Christian man advised a new believer to obey her husband in watching filthy X-rated pornographic movies to be obedient to her husband.

She came to this man for counsel because she was in turmoil at having to watch this filth and he further destroyed her soul by counseling a lie using the Bible taken out of context.

It occurs to me he should not have known the account of Abilgail who disobeyed her husband to honor God. You can read about it in 1 Samuel.

This self-proclaimed scholar could not have known the scriptures about the woman being the counsel to her husband when he interprets the Bible to abuse her as long as her husband wants to do so.

God told the woman to obey her husband in all things when it pertains to godliness. God never tells us to obey a wicked man who wants us to sin.

A good example of when a woman obeyed her husband after he suggested they sin was the story of Ananias and Saphirrah. God counted Saphirrah's obedience to her husband as "conspiring with him." Her husband was killed by God for lying to the Holy Spirit and then she was also killed by God for obeying her husband.

Nowhere in that passage does God say He would spare Sapphirrah because she obeyed her husband. She was killed just like her husband.

When a woman comes before God at judgment He is not going to ask her did she obey her husband, He will ask her if she obeyed God.

Notice Saphirrah obeyed her husband and was killed by God for it and Abigail disobeyed her husband and was blessed for it.

Wives are not extensions of their husbands, they are individuals with responsibilities to their household. That job was given to them by God, not their husbands. They are to execute that job the way any CEO of a company would do. When their husband is wrong they are to counsel him as a CEO would counsel the president of the company.

If the husband will not listen to his wife who warns him about sinning then she is to do the right thing anyway and leave her husband to God. Wives are never to sin to satisfy a husband.

This ought to be a warning to all those who take scriptures out of the context of the entire Bible to justify their own desired belief system.

The narcissistic controller cares only about controlling others so they make up rules God never made and oppress others with these devilish ideas.

Beware of adding to scripture, ignoring passages or making up your own ideas to justify your narcissism.

We live in a world now in which anyone who tells the truth will be treated with contempt and much disrespect for daring to tell the truth.

May you who love the Lord become so strong that no worldly pressure, mocking or demeaning will cause you to capitulate to the ways of those who love themselves more than they love God.

Remember if the bully does not get you to submit to them they will try to turn others against you with their lies. Ignore the bullies and their friends as you continue on with Christ doing what you know to be right according to the Holy Spirit. Quote Scripture to anyone who comes to pressure you into submission to their traditional mind-fields.

James 4:7

"7 Submit therefore to God. But resist the devil, and he will flee from you."

Pretending to be Superior is a Devilish Business

I am so thankful that God gives permission to remove people who hate God and us from our lives. And, to keep us from becoming like them. They will poke and poke repeatedly in an attempt to cause us to become angry. Then if we bite and become angry they accuse us of being the one who starts the fights.

Sadly, most of this was done by those who say they are Christians. They justify their anger by making up stories about us that are not true but they wish to believe about us.

The very people who have wrongly judged me are doing what they accuse me of doing.

Bullies love to attack those they are jealous of or who are kind and loving. They hate the happiness of others because they do not have joy in their hearts and live continually in a state of irritation over the smallest and insignificant things.

They tend to make an issue over things that need not be a problem because they are trying to find a place to put their hatred and it lands on anyone who has the fruit of the Spirit. Since they lack this fruit they hate to see it in anyone else. Does this sound like the mentality of the devil, he hates God, he hates God's people and he hates righteousness?

Galatians 5:22-23

"22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law."

The responses of the one who is controlled by the devil are many. Grunting noises to show disapproval, rolling of eyes, and using disparaging language to convey their contempt with the intent of making their target feel shame. Many of you could name some of these tactics that are common in all those who are controlled by the devil. Since he is in the minds of those who are his puppets they all do and say nearly exactly the same things to demean the ones they hate.

Romans 8:6

"For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace."

1 John 4:8

"Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love."

Romans 13:10

"Love does no wrong to a neighbor; therefore love is the fulfilling of the law."

Colossians 3:14

"And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony."

If there is love and godly intent there is harmony. If there is continual competition, hatred and envy there is no peace and no harmony. We can all recognize the spirit of those who hate God and those who love Him. There is a world of difference between the actions and reaction of godly people and those who hate our God.

Pretenders are those who follow rules to be elevated as special. They attend churches every week for people to see their own goodness. They care little to nothing about what God thinks while they twist His Word to fit their own fleshly desires. Pretenders act fleshly while dedicated to their own god-like appearance, their mind is focused on themselves, not on God. Appearances are far more important to the pretender than character. As long as they can appear holy by following rules they are satisfied, there is no concern about becoming holy within their own soul.

Matthew 23:27-28

27 “Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs which on the outside appear beautiful, but inside they are full of dead men’s bones and all uncleanness. 28 So you too, outwardly appear righteous to people, but inwardly you are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness."

Godly people who walk in the Spirit do not harm others, they do not speak lies to elevate themselves and they love the ways of God. They have all the fruit of the Spirit within their hearts so that they only act out what God puts there.

Character matters to the born-again believer, character does not matter to the pretender only outer appearances.

Colossians 3:1-3 "3 Therefore, if you have been raised with Christ, keep seeking the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. 2 [a]Set your minds on the things that are above, not on the things that are on earth. 3 For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. 4 When Christ, who is our life, is revealed, then you also will be revealed with Him in glory."

Colossians 3:12-16 "12 So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience;

13 bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so must you do also.

14 In addition to all these things put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity.

15 Let the peace of Christ, to which you were indeed called in one body, rule in your hearts; and be thankful.

16 Let the word of Christ richly dwell within you, with all wisdom teaching and admonishing one another with psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs, singing with thankfulness in your hearts to God.

17 Whatever you do in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through Him to God the Father."

If we are in Christ walking with the Holy Spirit we will not be manipulated by the devil to become rude and mean to others. We will make our boundaries to please God and resist becoming friends with those who love their pretending and their sinful superiority.

Obey God not Man's Traditions

God never told us a particular day to meet with others or worship HIm. Ask the Lord what you must do and ignore all the pressure from the organized church that thinks you should do things their way.

Most churches now practice traditions of men more than obedience to the Word of God. It can be agonizing to be involved in a group that elevates their own traditions above God's Word. We are not required to obey them, we can obey God and live peacefully in that choice.

Romans 14:4-13 "4 Who are you to judge the servant of another? To his own master he stands or falls; and he will stand, for the Lord is able to make him stand.

5 One person values one day over another, another values every day the same. Each person must be fully convinced in his own mind.

6 The one who observes the day, observes it for the Lord, and the one who eats, does so with regard to the Lord, for he gives thanks to God; and the one who does not eat, it is for the Lord that he does not eat, and he gives thanks to God.

7 For not one of us lives for himself, and not one dies for himself;

8 for if we live, we live for the Lord, or if we die, we die for the Lord; therefore whether we live or die, we are the Lord’s.

9 For to this end Christ died and lived again, that He might be Lord both of the dead and of the living.

10 But as for you, why do you judge your brother or sister? Or you as well, why do you regard your brother or sister with contempt? For we will all appear before the judgment seat of God.

11 For it is written:

“As I live, says the Lord, to Me every knee will bow,

And every tongue will [h]give praise to God.”

12 So then each one of us will give an account of himself to God.

13 Therefore let’s not judge one another anymore, but rather determine this: not to put an obstacle or a stumbling block in a brother’s or sister’s way. "

Adrian Rogers: End Times Prophecy - Are we close to the second coming of...

Disrespect is Growing Exponentially!

In our day we are experiencing the disrespect of adult children and their spouses because they think they are superior to their parents allowing them the excuse them to emotionally and verbally abuse their parents, merely for thinking differently from them.

These arrogant and self-exalted adults withhold their children from the grandparents as well as teach the grandchildren to disrespect them through their own example. Those who are full of self-will and disregard for others become jealous if their children love anyone other than themselves. They have a strange idea that if their child loves someone else they cannot love the parents.

The Bible teaches that we can love everyone all at the same time. Those who think in selfish terms fear the loss of the love of their children because they do not possess love themselves.

Love toward everyone is the command of God in His Word. If we have love it will be a character matter that cannot be manipulated by those who do not love. If love is a part of our character we do not want to harm others even in the slightest way, we want all people we encounter to sense the love of Christ and we desire that everyone we meet hears the truth of Jesus Christ.

1 Corinthians 13:4-8

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away.

"More is caught than taught." The generation that is trained to disrespect the elderly will themselves disrespect their elderly, it is what they will be familiar with all their lives. It makes no sense to think that grandchildren will show love and kindness to their own parents when they have been taught disrespect in general toward others they think do not measure up to themselves .

Isaiah 3:5

"5 The people will be oppressed, Every one by another and every one by his neighbor; The child will be insolent toward the elder, And the base toward the honorable."

When adult children train their own children to disrespect the grandparents they are making the way for their children to treat them the same way they were taught to treat their grandparents.

It isn't about teaching children to be respectful to one person over another. If a child has a disrespectful attitude no matter who they choose to disrespect, they will have a character of disrespect.

Those who have been trained to be loving and kind will do it all the time to everyone, no one will be treated disrespectfully because it is not in their character.

When a child is trained either by example or with words to be disrespectful or respectful they will do it because of their character as a whole is permeated with the traits they have been indoctrinated to follow. We train children to develop a character more by our own actions than by our words.

Sadly many of us in my generation attempted to teach our children good things but they chose to follow the culture rather than our teaching and example. Many married people who were not taught right from wrong and were influenced by their spouses.

Words have little value if they are not backed up by a lifestyle. A child who is told to be respectful but watches disrespect in their parents will do what the parent does and not what they say.

Matthew 23:2-4 "…2“ The scribes and Pharisees sit in Moses’ seat. 3 So practice and observe everything they tell you. But do not do what they do, for they do not practice what they preach. 4 They tie up heavy, burdensome loads and lay them on men’s shoulders, but they themselves are not willing to lift a finger to move them.…"

Matthew 23:5-6 "5 All their deeds are done for men to see. They broaden their phylacteries and lengthen their tassels. 6They love the places of honor at banquets, the chief seats in the synagogues,…"

When parents teach their children that appearances are far more important than substance they are training their children to devalue spiritual matters while holding close to their heart the things of this world.

Proverbs 3:3

"Let not mercy and truth forsake thee: bind them about thy neck; write them upon the table of thine heart:"

Sadly many "Christians" are training their children to devalue the things of the soul and spirit while elevating outer appearances to be loved by the world around them.

John 15:18-20

"18 the world hates you, understand that it hated Me first.

19 If you were of the world, it would love you as its own. Instead, the world hates you, because you are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world.

20 Remember the word that I spoke to you: ‘No servant is greater than his master.’ If they persecuted Me, they will persecute you as well; if they kept My word, they will keep yours as well."

1 John 2:15-16 " 15 Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. 16 For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh, the desires of the eyes, and the pride of life—is not from the Father but from the world."

Those who wish to teach the things of God will be despised by those who have a form of religion but deny Christ in their attitudes.

2 Timothy 3:5 " 5 having a form of godliness but denying its power. Turn away from such as these!" traitorous, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God,"

Timothy 4:7

"But reject irreverent, silly myths. Instead, train yourself for godliness."

Romans 16:17,18

"Now I beseech you, brethren, mark them which cause divisions and offenses contrary to the doctrine which ye have learned; and avoid them"

We cannot completely get out of the world but we can avoid those who reject Christ and those who claim to be Christians but refuse to listen to the Word of God, making up their own rules and twisting Scripture to justify their disobedience and disrespect for the Word of God.

As we move closer to the rapture and the tribulation we will find it harder to have fellowship with authentic believers, most are pretenders and uninterested in deeply delving into the Word to discover God's truth.

2 Timothy 4:3

"3 For the time will come when they will not tolerate sound doctrine; but wanting to have their ears tickled, they will accumulate for themselves teachers in accordance with their own desires,"

Remember knowledge of this does not remove our joy and peace, that remains no matter what. However, we must refer back to God's promises to us to keep from being sucked into the foolishness these rebellious types bring. They want to derail our faith, joy and peace, do not let them.

Character Matters

We are weak in character if we need someone else's approval to do what is right in the sight of God.