Believe and Desire Go Hand in Hand

God said that all we have to do is believe but I think it is more than that, it includes the desire to be changed into a new creation by Christ. He will not dwell in anyone who doesn't want to be changed by Him.

Luke 9:23

"If any of you wants to be my follower, you must give up your own way, take up your cross daily, and follow Me".

Matthew 16:24-25

"If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it".

If there is a desire to have Christ to save ourselves but no desire to be changed by Him into a new creation then the expectation that God will protect us without us wanting Him does not bring salvation.

Matthew 7:21-23 "21 “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. 22 On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?’ 23 And then will I declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.’

John 10:27 "My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me."

Nowhere do we see that just believing in one's head saves anyone; faith is deeply rooted in admitting sinfulness and wanting to be changed by Christ.

As we see in Matthew 7, these were lost people who believed in Christ, they just wanted Him to serve them instead of them serving Him.

When we want someone or something badly enough we will follow them or it.

James 1:22

"Be doers of the word, and not hearers only. Otherwise, you are deceiving yourselves."

Luke 6:46

"Why do you call Me ‘Lord, Lord,’ but do not do what I say?"

John 14:21

"Whoever has My commandments and keeps them is the one who loves Me. The one who loves Me will be loved by My Father, and I will love him and reveal Myself to him.”

1 John 2:4

"If anyone says, “I know Him,” but does not keep His commandments, he is a liar, and the truth is not in him."

Christian Narcissists Resist God and Believe they are Obeying

https://youtube.com/shorts/Bgmv4wxmrmw?si=rvnVicgP7mK-nSD-

This is why a full-blown narcissist cannot be born-again. In order to be born-again one has to feel ashamed of their sinful nature and desiring God to change them. God has to bring them to the end of themselves before they will confess their sin. And, even then most will not do it, our churches are full of these types of false Christians.

Following Christ is the only way to walk in His Principles

Narcissists are so full of self that they interpret everything we say and do in terms of themselves. If we speak a truth in general they will interpret our speaking as though it was written to them or about them when it was a general principle or statement meant for everyone to ponder.

They will translate every good deed done by their target as a manipulation or one-upmanship because if they were doing a good deed that would be the reason they do it.

Narcissists seldom interpret things according to truth, it is always skewed with their own mindset, how they feel, what they think and what it would be if they were doing it.

Narcissists do not love others, they use others, judge others on small insignificant matter and gossip to others to be able to feel superior. If someone else does something good it diminishes the narcissist in their own thinking. These are not people who share your joy or edify anyone else.

"Therefore, encourage one another and build one another up, just as you also are doing." 1 Thessalonians 5:11

When we understand these tactics coming from the narcissist we can rise above the feelings they create and resolve to walk in a Christlike manner no matter what the evil person is doing in response to us.

Hebrews 3:13

"But exhort one another daily, as long as it is called today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness."

Ephesians 4:29

"Let no unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building up the one in need and bringing grace to those who listen."

Romans 14:19

"So then, let us pursue what leads to peace and to mutual edification."

Colossians 3:16

"Let the word of Christ richly dwell within you as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God."

1 Corinthians 14:26

"What then shall we say, brothers? When you come together, everyone has a psalm or a teaching, a revelation, a tongue, or an interpretation. All of these must be done to build up the church."

Galatians 6:2

"Carry one another’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ."

Romans 15:2

"Each of us should please his neighbor for his good, to build him up."

Philippians 2:1-4

"Therefore if you have any encouragement in Christ, if any comfort from His love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any affection and compassion, / then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being united in spirit and purpose. / Do nothing out of selfish ambition or empty pride, but in humility consider others more important than yourselves."

1 Peter 4:10

"As good stewards of the manifold grace of God, each of you should use whatever gift he has received to serve one another."

Those who live to glorify self can never carry out these mandates from God. Only those who love Christ more than themselves can walk in these principles.

Philippians 2:3-4

"3 Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility consider one another as more important than yourselves;

4 do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others."

Judging Others Pridefully is Sin

Most "Christians" would claim the credit for a child who becomes a Christian but would not claim the shame when their child rejects Christ.

I have good news, it is not a parents responsibility to make a child a Christian. It is our responsibility to present the truth and leave the choice to the child and to God for the outcome.

Those who judge parents as having done a bad job because a child does not "turn out as they should" are placing their trust in human beings and not in God.

No parent is perfect, no parent can know exactly what is needed in the heart of another human being only God knows that. We can only do our imperfect best and depend on God to do the rest, He knows the child's heart.

I have known many people who came from ungodly families who trusted in Christ and their hearts were changed. The parents do not get the credit for the salvation of their child, Christ does.

I have known many people who rejected Christ who came from godly families, the parents were not responsible for the choices of their children either.

Ezekiel 18:19-20: "The son shall not bear the guilt of the father, nor the father bear the guilt of the son. The righteousness of the righteous shall be upon himself, and the wickedness of the wicked shall be upon himself".

Those who judge others by evaluating others based on their own pride will be judged for that pride. There is no love in the heart of someone who cares more about demeaning parents than they do about what became of the child. Yes, we pray for the parents and the children, but never regard ourselves so highly that we feel justified in judging parenting when we were not there to see what happened.

Prideful people who are competitive love to judge others even without enough information to be able to see all that went on in a household.

Competitiveness is not godly, it is self exalted and full of anger. Only an angry person feels the need to neglect to evaluate themselves but are freely evaluating others.

May each one pay close attention to their own stuff and leave the judgments of others to God.

Judging is not bad when it is done in love according to the Bible, however, judging others to appear superior is sin.

Only One Mediator Between God and Man

There are false teachers in the Christian world who are teaching that women should obey their husbands even if they tell their wives to sin.

When we stand before God on judgment day we will not have the excuse that "my husband told me to do it." A domineering husband who usurps the Authority of the Holy Spirit, attempting to be the god in his wife's life will be judged for his rebellion against God.

Those who teach this monstrous idea are placing heavy burdens on the wives to obey a husband instead of Christ, this is demonic.

To place the husband in the role of the mediator between God and the wife is to deny the Authority of Christ in every believer.

1 Timothy 2:5

"5 For there is one God, and one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus;"

When a woman obeys her husband it is her choice alone and only if he obeys God. We are not required to obey a sinning husband who will not submit to God and worse attempts to cause his wife to sin against God.

Remember Ananias and Sapphhirah, God counted their individual sins as a conspiracy against God, He killed them both for their lying to the Holy Spirit. A man will be judged for his sin and a woman will be judged for her sin no matter who told her to do it.

John 14:6

"Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me."

Husband and wife are one, they work together, the husband is not independent of his wife and she is not independent of her husband. They work together counseling one another lovingly, no one dominates or controls the other. Those who dominate to control are being led by the devil. Christ never forced anyone about anything, he taught and left the choice to those who heard.

Ephesians 2:18

"For through Him we both have access to the Father by one Spirit."

When the husband disobeys God the woman is responsible to speak the truth in love to him to help him return to obedience. When the wife disobeys God the husband has the responsibility to speak the truth to her in love to help her return to obedience. The mentality of each is out of a deep love and concern, it is never to intimidate or demean to force compliance.

Ezekiel 3:18-20

"18 When I say to the wicked, ‘You will certainly die,’ and you do not warn him or speak out to warn the wicked from his wicked way so that he may live, that wicked person shall die for wrongdoing, but his blood I will require from your hand.

19 However if you have warned the wicked and he does not turn from his wickedness or from his wicked way, he shall die for wrongdoing, but you have saved yourself.

20 Again, when a righteous person turns away from his righteousness and commits sin, and I place an obstacle before him, he will die; since you have not warned him, he shall die in his sin, and his righteous deeds which he has done shall not be remembered; but his blood I will require from your hand."

No one is exempt from speaking the truth to those who are sinning.

Following Christ While Rejecting False Christianity

It doesn't matter what kind of household we grew up in, our choices were our own. We could choose to follow Christ or we could choose to follow our heart and into sin to relieve the emptiness within.

Many of us grew up in "Christian" homes where everyone attended church gatherings in a building miles away from our home. And yet, there was no love there, just rules and judgment if we failed to follow those rules perfectly. Going to a "church" was about appearances for most people and it is still that way. The "decent" families attended gatherings as a requirement to social norms rather than a dedication to Christ.

Everything was based on performance to make the family look good, very little was based on loving one another. As long as the people in the family performed in appearances it mattered little the condition of the heart.

Matthew 22:36-40

36 “Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?” 37 And He said to him, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ 38 This is the great and foremost commandment. 39 The second is like it, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ 40 Upon these two commandments hang the whole Law and the Prophets.”

The attitude and actions in the home were far different from those shown to the world. The world looked at this family as a good one, not knowing how mean and rude it was in the home when the world couldn't see.

It wasn't until I became born again that I realized how ugly that home environment was, how unloving and how self-absorbed everyone was, without kindness and without a desire to understand and love one another.

When we do not see modeled the love of Christ we turn to what comes naturally, immorality and the world to relieve our pain of emptiness.

God knows what we need and what we are inclined toward when we don't have Him. Our search for love bends toward immorality and self-exaltation when we have not been changed by Christ.

I professed Christ at church camp when I was about 12 years old but remained lonely and frustrated by what was all around me. I knew in my head that I should "accept" Christ as my Savior but struggled to be the better person I should be, it was a fleshly effort to avoid hell but without the power to overcome sin.

It wasn't until I became born again in my early twenties that I confessed my sinfulness and trusted Christ to change me into a new creation. I didn't understand all His principles but wanted Him to change everything that was wrong. I stopped attempting to change myself and prayed every time I was tempted to walk disobediently. Over time sin began to fall away and boldness for Him grew.

The Lord didn't use a person or a church to change me. He gave me some truth through the teachings but since it was not modeled anywhere I looked I had to turn entirely to Him to show me what was wrong and that I should follow Him alone.

The more I grew in Christ the uglier the modern Christianity looked to me. I began to realize that the Christianity of this world was not the Christianity of the Bible. It was a sudo-Christian form of religion based more on performance than on Christ.

I supposedly accepted Christ as a young girl but it was head knowledge without substance. One of the greatest changes in me when I trusted Christ after I was married was that I no longer fit into the "Christian" groups or families who went to church every week.

I thought becoming born-again would cause my family to love me more but they seemed to despise me more than before, as though they liked being superior to me when I was sinful and hated that I had found Christ with a changed heart and life.

We see this often in the world, those who are pretenders are intimidated by authentic believers who have been changed by Christ. Even avoiding and covertly menacing us hoping to cause a bad reaction in us so they can accuse us of something or deny our change.

We see this happened to Christ when the Pharisees accused Him of performing His miracles by the power of the devil to discredit Him among the people.

God began to open my eyes to my own sin and the false Christianity that was common all around us. I prayed that the Lord would remove every sinful intent of my heart, every false way I was taught and keep me focused on Him alone.

We cannot resist the pull of false Christianity without Christ. The more we engage with "pew people" who love their religion but not Christ the more we become confused and weak. To be strong we must surround ourselves with those who are authentically changed by Christ and love to walk with Him.

Those who love Christ will not be in competition with one another about anything. They will want to see their own flaws to be healed and will love engaging in conversation about Christ and His principles. There will be no desire to be phony or superior because they walk in His love daily.

1 Corinthians 13:4–8a "4 Love is patient, love is kind, it is not jealous; love does not brag, it is not arrogant.

5 It does not act disgracefully, it does not seek its own benefit; it is not provoked, does not keep an account of a wrong suffered,

6 it does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; 7 it keeps every confidence, it believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."8 Love never fails;"

Those who walk in love are filled with the love of Christ and walk in the fruit of the Spirit. Not deeds but character qualities that lead to proper loving actions.

Galatians 5:22-23: "But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law"

And, it is possible to recognize the difference between pretenders and authentic believers because of the fruit or lack of it.

Matthew 7:17-20

"17 So every good tree bears good fruit, but the bad tree bears bad fruit.

18 A good tree cannot bear bad fruit, nor can a bad tree bear good fruit.

19 Every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. 20 So then, you will know them by their fruits."

Anyone who does not walk a lifestyle of this fruit but walks a lifestyle of competitiveness and rudeness is not born-again.

1 John 3:9

"9 No one who has been born of God practices sin, because His seed remains in him; and he cannot sin continually, because he has been born of God."

We are living in the end times in which there is little faith upon the earth and much false faith based on religious practices that are not Biblical.

2 Timothy 3:5

"5 holding to a form of godliness although they have denied its power; avoid such people as these."

Many authentic believers are leaving the organized churches to remain faithful to Christ. They will be seen as foolish and even judged as unsaved, we need to ignore all that and follow Christ.

Hallelujah!!!

Relating Biblically SESSION 3: The Point of Choice in Marriage