Know His Word and Walk in Wisdom

When we know the Bible nothing in the world will fool or surprise us!

Admitting and Ignoring Feelings is the Key to Rational Reasonable Reactions to Life

The only way to keep from acting on our feelings is to admit we have them.

Those who cannot admit their feelings will ultimately act upon them. These people are controlled by feelings rather than by reasonable rational facts.

It is feelings-oriented people who justify bad behavior.

Feelings come and go and are often inaccurate, if we ignore them we will act them out.

Honesty and integrity drive us to self-reflect so that we are able to admit what we are feeling to resist the urge to act according to them.

It is false feelings that lead people to become irrationally angry at someone for doing or saying what is reasonable and normal.

I have seen often in my life and at times when I was less mature I would think something was wrong because of feelings only to realize when I pondered what happened that my feelings led me to believe something that wasn't true. Narcissists use manipulation to encourage bad feelings in others, it is a control mechanism for them.

It is human nature to interpret relationships based on our own prejudices rather than on the facts. Sadly in our culture today often we are not allowed to discuss things to determine the truth. There is resistance to open honest communication because of the fear of finding out that perhaps we might be wrong and we would have to confess that we were wrong to heal a relationship.

It could be too that the resistance to honest open communication is because those who refuse to be open and honest fear their flaws will be discovered while they have a desperate need to feel special and superior it prevents self-reflection and empathy toward others.

So instead of humbling themselves to find out the truth many individuals just assume what they want to believe and refuse to admit and discuss matters. This is agonizing for those who want to resolve problems but are immediately met with rage when asking to have a conversation.

The culture of anger is increasing because of the selfish resistance to honest open conversations with the welfare of the other person in mind. Instead of approaching someone with a concern for their well being the narcissists approaches those they wish to control with angst to immediately have control over their victim. They are not interested in resolving difficult relationships they are only interested in dominating and winning over others.

Since the culture is deeply insecure and self-oriented there is a fear of honest and open conversation, it is discouraged in favor of superficial platitudes that produce nothing significant in the growth of relationships.z

Jesus Christ is always about relationships that flourish because those involved love one another. He plainly states that deferring to others is preferable to using and dominating them.

1 Corinthians 13:4–7

"Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."

When we approach someone with a concern it ought to be because we love them, not because we need to win over them.

Philippians 2:3 "

"Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility consider one another as more important than yourselves;"

Dominating and manipulating others is not even a thought in the mind of a loving born-again Christian. The heart of the believer in Christ is always the welfare of others.

John 13:34-35 "…34 A new commandment I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you also must love one another. 35 By this everyone will know that you are My disciples, if you love one another.”

1 Corinthians 13 1

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth."

There isn't much love in the world today and this is sad, but we can be loving ourselves, not allowing the culture to shape us into their mold.

1 John 3:14

We know that we have passed from death to life, because we love our brothers. The one who does not love remains in death.

1 John 4:20

If anyone says, "I love God," but hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen.

Acts 4: 31-33 31 "After they had prayed, their meeting place was shaken, and they were all filled with the Holy Spirit and spoke the word of God boldly.

32 The multitude of believers was one in heart and soul. No one claimed that any of his possessions was his own, but they shared everything they owned.

33 With great power the apostles continued to give their testimony about the resurrection of the Lord Jesus. And abundant grace was upon them all."

There was no competition to be superior to one another in this most holy gathering. The love was so great that everyone cared more about the welfare of others than they did about themselves. Christ was truly pre-eminent in their hearts.

May we learn to go his way even if no one else comes with us.

Do Not Become Like the World

The world prioritizes personal fulfillment over anyone and anything else.

Christ teaches the opposite, the more we prioritize Him and His principles the less we will be concerned about ourselves except to self-evaluate for personal growth.

Philippians 2:3 "Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility consider one another as more important than yourselves;"

As born-again believers our lives ought to be so different from the world that many will notice we operate and think differently on almost everything.

Romans 2:8

"But for those who are self-seeking and who reject the truth and follow wickedness, there will be wrath and anger."

Romans 12:10

"Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Outdo yourselves in honoring one another."

One day as I was pondering what the world doesn't like about us I realized they are convicted by our dislike of bullying, crassness and rudeness. They do not see us engaging in disrespect of others no matter what is done to us and it intimidates them. We show others the disrespect they didn't show us but claim we were the ones who disrespected them.

When we are friendly and kind those who are ungodly feel "less than" even if we are treating them better than they treat us. They feel "less than", not because of us but because they know in their heart of hearts that they are the ones who are ill-behaved.

When we correct someone the bullies will claim our correction is mean when if valued as helping they would sense the love rather than accuse us of something evil.

Wicked people must blame others for "making them feel" bad about their misbehavior. Rather than evaluating their own behavior in the light of the Word of God, they justify themselves and blame others.

Satan worked hard to convince Eve that God was being mean by withholding something from her when God was perfect and had only Eve's well-being in mind. Eve was convinced by the devil that God was the bad one by having standards, the very standards that would be a blessing to her if she accepted them.

We are living in the "me generation" or should I say "the me only generation" in which the 2 Timothy 3 passage shed light on what is happening and why it is happening.

2 Timothy 3:1-5 1 But realize this, that in the last days difficult times will come.

2 For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, slanderers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy,

3 unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good,

4 treacherous, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God,

5 holding to a form of godliness although they have denied its power; avoid such people as these."

1 Peter 4:7-9 "7 The end of all things is near; therefore, be of sound judgment and sober spirit for the purpose of prayer.

8 Above all, keep fervent in your love for one another, because love covers a multitude of sins.

9 Be hospitable to one another without complaint."

1 Peter 4:12-14 "12 Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal among you, which comes upon you for your testing, as though something strange were happening to you;

13 but to the degree that you share the sufferings of Christ, keep on rejoicing, so that at the revelation of His glory you may also rejoice and be overjoyed.

14 If you are insulted for the name of Christ, you are blessed, because the Spirit of glory, and of God, rests upon you."

When we are full of joy no matter how we are treated by others nothing can move us from our calling or intimidate us into becoming like the world.

Philippians 4:13 "13 I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me."

The Devil Loves to Divide Through Gossip

Devils love to divide people through false doctrine and false beliefs, even false testimonies about others.

Just as in the garden with Eve the devil convinced her to disrespect and disregard God. When he was through with her she not only distrusted God but she also dismissed His wisdom and defied Him.

Believing gossip about others without having seen the events ourselves is proof of a desire to believe the evil testimony, merely to elevate self.

It is one thing to recount to a close friend something that happened to you personally and quiet another to repeat what someone else "thinks" might have happened.

I see this all the time, people who make guesses about someone based on their desired beliefs about them without concrete evidence against them.

Those who have no desire to have a conversation with the target of gossip are demonstrating their own jealousy and desire to believe anything that makes the target look bad.

2 Corinthians 12:20 "20 For I am afraid that perhaps when I come I may find you to be not what I wish and may be found by you to be not what you wish; that perhaps there will be strife, jealousy, angry tempers, disputes, slanders, gossip, arrogance, disturbances;"

It is easy to discern jealousy when there is anger over "secrets" that no one attempts to clear up or understand the target.

Ephesians 4:29 "29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen."

Those who are regularly thinking up reasons to be angry at people they know very little about but think they do, are operating from jealousy and a murderous heart to destroy that person.

Matthew 5:21-45

“You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not murder, and whoever murders will be in danger of the judgment.’ But I say to you that whoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment. And whoever says to his brother, ‘Raca!’ shall be in danger of the council. But whoever says, ‘You fool!’ shall be in danger of hell fire. "

God calls hatred murder and jealousy is hatred. When we love someone we are not jealous of them we delight in the good and the accomplishments that happen in their lives.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 "4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."

Those who love their secrets about others and spread them like wildfire do not love Christ or anyone else. Their own self-exaltation is all they care about, they are not worthy to be anyone's friend. However, anyone who is in bondage to and convicted of gossiping can be delivered by repenting, asking God to forgive them and change their heart so that they can become born again and lose the desire to elevate themselves above others.

What a blessing it is for born-again believers who have no desire to be above or better than others. Our worth and confidence is in Christ Who lives in us, not in ourselves.

1 Corinthians 13:11-13 "11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me.

12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

13 And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love."

Correction and Warning are blessings to those who are of a humble heart!

Pardoning a Rebel is Supporting Sin

“The idea that God will pardon a rebel who has not given up his rebellion is contrary both to the scriptures and to common sense. How horrible to contemplate a church full of persons who have been pardoned but who still love sin and hate the ways of righteousness. And how much more horrible to think of heaven as filled with sinners who had not repented nor changed their way of living.”
~A.W. Tozer

Moving on the Spiritual and Emotional Maturity

Because narcissists have never matured they remain emotional and spiritual infants into their elder years. Lets not become like this, if we keep seeking Christ, and confessing our flaws and failures we will not stagnate or regress, we will always be moving forward in wisdom and holiness.

The key to becoming a mature believer is to spend much time in self-reflection and Scripture reading so that the Holy Spirit will work in us. May the Lord expose everything in us that does not glorify Him. Confession often is the key to Spiritual and emotional maturity.

Ephesians 4:13-15

"13 until we all attain to the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to a mature man, to the measure of the stature which belongs to the fullness of Christ. 14 As a result, we are no longer to be children, tossed here and there by waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by the trickery of people, by craftiness [d]in deceitful scheming; 15 but speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in all aspects into Him who is the head, that is, Christ,"