Impression Management is Deception

When impression management is the goal in a relationship there can be no closeness.

Genuine relationships are based on authenticity, hearts sharing what is real in their experiences. It is not possible to have a genuine relationship with those who will not reveal themselves in truth.

Impression managers are terrified of revealing anything about themselves that does not make them sound special.

Those who work to make sure they look good in the eyes of others hide their real selves as well as their experiences. They do this out of fear that someone will look down on them for the truth about themselves.

When someone is always hiding it is an indication they fear the judgements of others because they spend a lot of time judging others on small matters and even half truths without all the information.

When impression managers like someone they will judge that person as being all good denying anything that might not be right to maintain the god-like status in their own minds. They will see everything this person does as perfect, right and good. Even without any real supporting evidence based on their own desired belief about this person they will overlook things that need correction.

When impression managers dislike someone they will view everything that person does as foolish or wrong, even without any supporting evidence and worse on gossip, merely because of the way they wish to think about them. Often this stance is motivated by the jealousy the impression manager is courting in their hearts. This is the reason they believe the gossip, they want to think badly of the person they dislike.

For example; if the impression manager sees the freedom to be honest in those they dislike they will be intimidated and fearful of them. Honesty frightens the impression manager.

The impression managers judge a person based on how that person elevates them personally and not on the character of their friend. As long as the impression manager likes someone they are golden.

When the impression manager does not like a person they will dislike everything about that person, they can do no right in the eyes of the impression manager. The character and personal intent of the one they despise is based on their independence from the impression manager.

The example of Christ with the Pharisees, He was a threat to their elevated status so they gossiped and lied that He did His miracles by the power of the devil. All the apostles were martyred except John because of the lies told against them. The powers that were at that time saw to it that the apostles were diminished and destroyed for telling the truth.

Narcissists hate people who are joyful and independent from them. They will ignore any flaws in the one they elevate as special and demean the one who thinks independently from them. It doesn't matter if the lifestyle is good or bad, it will always be based on the impression managers idea about them not on reality.

In my personal experience with family I have come to the conclusion that much of this thinking is cultural and even genetic. People who are impression managers often come from the same genetic and cultural base, the reason they all do and say the same things.

I have noticed narcissists who have never met one another using the same phrases and tactics they all do, even though they came from different back grounds. I do think there is a genetic component to much of what narcissists do, as well as cultural training by example. And, of course all orchestrated by the influence of the devil.

"More is caught than taught." People pay more attention to what others do than what they say. If the impression manager never gossips in front of their children but they treat disrespectfully someone, the children will learn to treat others disrespectfully. Never assume your words carry power, they do not, actions and attitudes care the weight that influences others.

In our culture today people are trained to think a certain way by the school system, the church system and the families they grew up in. If there was a narcissistic parent or leader in an organization such as a teaher in school or a pastor in a church system, these people carry the day in influence as to how others will emulate them.

These things are, in my opinion based on the Bible, demonically inspired. Without Christ the culture as a whole and entire families are effected by the influence of the devil just like Eve was in the garden when the devil convinced her to dislike God and ignore His commands and teachings.

People today in families and in churches are influencing people to be against Bible believers. These influencers are claiming to use the Bible in their teachings but they do it dishonesty through scripture twisting, leaven out passages and adding human ideas to deceive those they influence.

When people have learned to elevate certain people above others they will follow those people instead of God. They will become hostile toward those who bring the truth using Scripture rather than sitting down to discuss it honestly as they look at all the scripture to come to an agreement.

2 Timothy 2:15

"Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth."

This passage was not written to a hierarchy, it was given to every born again believer. Teachers are to teach and everyone is to evaluate through prayer and their own study to see if the teacher is correct or if the teacher is wrong.

Acts 17:11 " 11 "Now the Berean Jews were of more noble character than those in Thessalonica, for they received the message with great eagerness and examined the Scriptures every day to see if what Paul said was true."

When there is a hierarchy system people tend to get lazy and allow those leaders to tell them what to believe instead of praying and reading for themselves.

When I was Catholic the priests told us not to read the Bible that only they could understand it. Then I became a Christian after leaving that system and the Protestand pastors would not say that but would act as though everyone should just believe them.

Then in later years I noticed the Catholic system was worried that their people were going other places to Bible studies and determined that they had better hold their own so that the people would learn the Bible the way the priests wanted them to understand it. So now Protestants are confused because the Catholics are reading the Bible too, so they think they may be Christians.

Ecumenicalism is growing confusing many people into thinking there are many ways to God. Impression management has been used in families and organizations to manipulate people into wrong thinking.

Divisiveness comes most regularly in the form of confusion, making those who hear the wrong gospel think it is the right one. The only way to be clear about the truth is to be led by the Holy Spirit as a born-again believer while studying God's Word.

No one will be saved, born-again, by believing what the hierarchy tells them. We must get our truth from Christ Who lives in us. Those who do not have Christ living in them will not be able to understand the Bible, they must be taught by the Holy Spirit.

1 Corinthians 2:14

"The natural person does not accept the things of the Spirit of God, for they are folly to him, and he is not able to understand them because they are spiritually discerned."

If anyone is caught up in protecting their personal image through impression management they must repent and begin to be authentic. This does not mean revealing everything about our selves that are between us and God, but it does mean that we need to be honest with people in personal interactions, confessing the unkind things we do to one another to God first and then to those we have disrespected.

May the Holy Spirit guide every believer to be authentic keeping close accounts to grow in holiness.

Spiritual Abuse Comes in Many Forms

It is spiritual abuse to pressure a victim to forgive an unrepentant offender while the offender is not required to confess.

These Types Of People Are Beginning To Appear WORLDWIDE (God Warned Us A...

Communicating with God

Speaking words at God to elevate self is detestable to God. Communicating with God because of our love is His desire.

Speaking Words at God Rather than Communicating with Him

Speaking words at God to fulfill the obligation to pray is not pleasing to God. He wants our worship, our love and to communicate to Him from our hearts.

Repeating words others have told us to say or repeating after them is not prayer it is meaningless mantra.

Matthew 6:5-15

5 “And when you pray, you are not to be like the hypocrites; for they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and on the street corners so that they will be seen by people. Truly I say to you, they have their reward in full.

6 But as for you, when you pray, go into your inner room, close your door, and pray to your Father who is in secret; and your Father who sees what is done in secret will reward you.

7 “And when you are praying, do not use thoughtless repetition as the Gentiles do, for they think that they will be heard because of their many words.

8 So do not be like them; for your Father knows what you need before you ask Him."

Keep these words of God in mind when you enter a "Pentecostal" gathering where people are mindlessly blabbering gibberish to be seen by those around them while acting proud of themselves for how spiritual they think they are for doing so.

A Root of Bitterness

A root of bitterness builds up in us every time we refuse to confess something that is wrong in us.

We do not become bitter because of someone else's sin against us, they become bitter when they do not confess.

When we are innocent in a matter we desire to make sure we are not at fault, but the one resistant to correction will become bitter from many times resisting correction.

Bitterness comes from resisting God and justifying sin in ourselves. We do not become bitter because someone else harmed us and will not be sorry, they become bitter when they will not confess their sin.

When we are innocent in a matter we have a clean heart that prays for the offender, and removes ourselves until they are repentant' We know that we cannot make someone else repent if they are resistant. We are only responsible for protecting ourselves from becoming like those who are stubborn.

Resuming a relationship without resolving a problem places another block on the wall that prevents reconciliation.

God expects us to confess our sins to be cleansed by Him and reconciled to Him. He also expects us to confess our sins against others to be reconciled to them.

How we handle relationships with one another shows our view of our relationship with God. Those who confess to God will confess to others, but those who will not confess to others will not confess to God.

Some people will say they have confessed to God but have no need to confess to the ones they have harmed. This is wrong because God expressly commands us to reconcile with those we have offended. To confess only to God is partial obedience which is a whole disobedience. To obey God one must do both confession to those we have offended and God!

We must confess to God and then to those we offend. If we do only one of these things we have disobeyed God.

James 5:16 "16 Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man has great power to prevail. "

This passage is speaking of spiritual healing that reconciles relationships.

There are those who use David's prayer that says; "against you alone have I sinned" as an example of only confessing to God, but this is not accurate. When we use scriptures out of context with the rest of the bible we come up with partial truth or half truth.

In many other places in the Bible God commands us to confess to the ones we offend and to God and even do restitution to others. We must read the entire Bible to come to a proper understanding of God's principles.

Forgiveness God's Way

We are to forgive "as the Lord forgives", God forgives those who are repentant, He never forgives those who are not sorry or even think they didn't do anything wrong, and worse the offender keeps on doing the same things.

Relationship reconciliation is two sides to the same coin, there must be a confession of sin and forgiveness for the relationship to be reconciled. There is no reconciliation when there has been no confession of wrong. Saying we forgive does nothing, it merely enables the offender to enlarge his pride solidifying his terrible behavior.

Those who accuse you of being unforgiving when the offender is not sorry, are gaslighting to shape you into their idea of forgiveness by those who do not understand confession and forgiveness God's way.

What forgiveness is not: It is not a feeling, or a desire to make sure we don't become bitter. One does not become bitter because someone else will not repent. Nor do we become bitter because the relationship cannot be reconciled because of unrepentance.

Notice we see much pressure in our culture to forgive the offender but the offender is not pressured to repent, this is backward and ungodly.

Because of this mentality of forgiving without accountability, many people are not properly disciplining and training their children thinking if they are just kind and friendly without correction the child will learn to be kind and friendly. A child without correction will become unruly and selfish and so do adults.

We demonstrate God's response to sin through our handling of it. When we forgive when there is no contrition for sin we are sending the message that the offender will have everything they want without having to be accountable.

1 John 1:9 "9 if we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."

We are never to treat disrespectfully anyone but we are, to tell the truth, and require accountability from those who are offenders. Those who are not sorry will not change their behavior. There cannot be trust with someone who thinks it is alright to be rude and disrespectful.

We cannot change others, but we can protect ourselves from becoming like those who are disrespectful by avoiding them.

2 Timoithy 3:1-5 "2 Timothy 3:1-5

Difficult Times Will Come

3 But realize this, that in the last days difficult times will come.

2 For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, slanderers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy,

3 unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good,

4 treacherous, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God,

5 holding to a form of godliness although they have denied its power; avoid such people as these."

Take note of verse 5 in this passage; "avoid such people."

God said that "bad company corrupts good character" meaning we will either become accustomed to the bad behavior and begin to emulate it or we will respond in anger.

Evil people cannot be changed or taught by us, they are resistant to any form of correction. God said we are not to "throw our pearls before swine."

One of the reasons the church has become apostate is because there is little correction in the body. Most people remain silent when someone is acting badly instead of correcting and disciplining them to return to the right thinking and right actions.

The day I realized I am not responsible to make anyone understand was the freest day of my life. I no longer attempt to make anyone understand but I do protect myself from toxic people who love their arrogance.

It is impossible to help others return to the right path when they have many other people in the group supporting them on the wrong path.

Seek Christ, be content to be with Him when no one else supports or loves you, because in these last days it will be very difficult to find people who love Christ and desire to obey His Word.

2 Timothy 4:3

"3 For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but after their own lusts shall they heap to themselves teachers, having itching ears;"

That time is now!