People tend to operate in crowd mentality. There may be some in the family group are not really seeing what has been gossiped about us, but they are too weak to stand alone and tell the truth so they capitulate to the crowd.
The "tribal" mentality is very strong and tends to attempt to force anyone who "walks to their own drummer" to come in line with the crowd. Anyone who thinks for themselves is a threat to the "family unit."
Just look at fads and trends, they grow exponentially because, rather than evaluating what is done, the masses simply jump on the band wagon to be accepted by the group or culture.
The "free thinker" threatens the norm of the group. Being different makes insecure people feel small or wrong, so they attack the one that lives what they believe contrary to the group. We see this in church gatherings too, those with perfectly valid complaints or questions about doctrine are summarily dismissed or ignored entirely to maintain the status quo, a greater goal than learning and growing.
We have seen this in cultures where someone tries to leave the culture, striking out on their own to better their life, while the group demeans, attacks emotionally and even physically to bring the free thinker back in line with the thinking and failure of the group.
This reminds me of a young woman I knew who lived with family members who were all on welfare, having babies out of wedlock and living continually lazy immoral lives. This young woman came to me in tears one day because she expressed to her family that she wanted to go to college, wait until she was married to have a baby and find a loving kind man to marry. Her family bludgeoned her with shame and guilt for "thinking so highly of herself", they made it clear that she had ideas "above her station", my words not theirs.
I have seen this a number of times in my life, each time is grieves me and then it makes me angry. In the case of this young woman, she gave up, as they set her up with boyfriends, she ended up pregnant at sixteen and on welfare. She was too weak to stand against them, it was understandable because she was not a believer and did not have the strength of the Holy Spirit to help her. I tried to encourage her, that she could accomplish those things, along with the gospel message, she was open and happy when she left my house each time, but then she stopped coming, then is when she had succumbed to the pressure of her ungodly family.
When we have Christ, seeking Him for everything, reading His word often, we gain the strength that all by ourselves we would never have, but in Christ we are vigorous and hearty, able to face all criticism with resolve to do what we know is right.
Proverbs 3:5-8
5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart
And do not lean on your own understanding.
6
In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He will make your paths straight.
7 Do not be wise in your own eyes;
Fear the Lord and turn away from evil.
8 It will be healing to your [a]body
And refreshment to your bones.
We can trust the Lord to make us strong when we seek Him for everything, even willing to be continually rejected for our choices. The more we are rejected, the more we have to stand, the greater our strength.
Romans 5:1-5
The results of being justifed in Christ!
"1 Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ,
2 through whom also we have obtained our introduction by faith into this grace in which we stand; and we exult in hope of the glory of God.
3 And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance;
4 and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope;
5 and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us."
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