Next time someone says, "I heard what you said about "so and so", you should not be gossiping"", be sure to remind them that listening to the person who told them and then repeating it back to you as if it were true, means they listened to gossip and believed it before hearing both sides, they were engaging in gossip themselves.
Gossip wouldn't go very far if those hearing it didn't listen or believe what they hear. It is also not gossip to share something that happened to us personally.
Those that accuse others of gossiping are gossiping in repeating it to anyone else. Sometimes things are said in confidence, they are not meant to harm anyone, only to share struggles to a trusted friend.
The one who repeats the confidence to anyone else is gossiping, these people can no longer be trusted with information.
The best way to handle someone who repeats what someone else said about them, is to choose not to believe it, remembering that a true friend would never tell another person what others are saying about them.
A true friend would never use against us, a confidence, they would pray, they would encourage but they would not severely judge.
There are those who fish for information to be able to have something on us to gossip about. One of the tell tale signs of this is asking questions while never sharing anything of their own. They are suspect because they are guarded about their own things, suggesting that they believe we would use something against them the way they do with others.
Often the narcissist will gather information to be able to make negative judgments and then pass those judgments on to others as facts.
When we meet someone like this, as soon as we realize what is happening, it is a good idea to end the relationship, take no more calls from them and ignore any other flying monkey interactions.
Flying monkeys are those that do the bidding of the evil doer, believe the gossip and treat with contempt those that were gossiped about, because of what they think they know.
There is a lot of drama going on in the world now because of the jealousy, contempt for righteousness and down right meanness of those who love to feel superior.
We can learn who to avoid and who to embrace in relationships. The gossip, who hears, believes and uses contempt as a judgment, will have nothing of value to add to our lives, their tactics are ruinous and can be devastating.
Proverbs 26:21 "Like charcoal to hot embers and wood to fire, So is a contentious man to kindle strife."
Romans 12:9-21 "9 Let love be without hypocrisy. Abhor what is evil; cling to what is good.
10 Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor;
11 not lagging behind in diligence, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord; 12 rejoicing in hope, persevering in tribulation, devoted to prayer,
13 contributing to the needs of the saints, practicing hospitality.
14 Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse.
15 Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep.
16 Be of the same mind toward one another; do not be haughty in mind, but associate with the lowly. Do not be wise in your own estimation.
17 Never pay back evil for evil to anyone. Respect what is right in the sight of all men.
18 If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men. 19 Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,” says the Lord.
20 “But if your enemy is hungry, feed him, and if he is thirsty, give him a drink; for in so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.”
21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good."
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