Many psychologists today are fostering this by suggesting a client must have gone through something terrible to have such dark feelings. This is a crass and monstrous disregard for relationships, based merely on one person's account of an event or events. The counselor who engages in this is bacing their "opinion" on nothing more than the testimony of one person.
This is a fascinating subject, that brings understanding to things we see that don't make a lot of sense. There are irrational people who are looking for justification for their bad behavior, making it appear as someone else's fault, when in every case of sin, the fault lies with the one who committed the sin.
Eve did this in the Garden when she blamed the snake for her own choice to eat the fruit. The man blamed God claiming that it was the woman that He gave him who caused Him to make the choice he made to eat the fruit.
Gossip creates a picture of events in the minds of others that is nearly impossible to undo once someone has heard it.
Our minds are curious entities, they tend to recount things and solidify first impressions that are inaccurate based on our personal bent. When we have a dislike for a person, whether out of jealousy or hurt feelings, we tend to interpret everything they do in terms of that angst toward them .
Over time after hearing the gossip, there is a choice that is made to believe the gossip, so much so that approaching the victim of the gossip to clarify things is unthinkable.
The choice to believe the gossip is made anew every time we hold this gossip against our target through the mean spirited ways in which we treat them. Keeping their distance, withholding love, leaving them out of invites to functions and many other covert ways of showing our disdain for them, the gossip monger remains staunch in his resolve to believe the lie that was fed to him. Over and over again the object of the gossip is treated with contempt without any attempts made to clarify what was heard.
Even though the gossip remains merely gossip without proof, the target is continually treated as though they did something wrong. Those who operate in this vain almost never approach the target to find out their side of the story and even if the story was told they would choose not to believe it because their pride will not allow them to believe what would refute their own desire to continue to believe, that is what they first heard.
Perhaps the reason for believing the gossip was that they hold in high regard the one who spreads this venom. When eyes are blinded by the desire to remain friends with the gossiper, we have left truth behind in favor of the worship of a person.
When we know that ALL people have flaws and can make mistakes and even sin, then we hold no one above the principles of God in order to impress a man.
Gossip never remains as it was first told, it always grows into something far bigger than the actual event.
Perhaps a woman was seen in the doughnut shop eating a lovely doughnut with her coffee, the message that was relayed is that the woman was seen eating several of them all by herself as she gorged herself on this less than healthy food. The gossiper never mentioned that she was there with a friend who was at the counter paying for her portion of those doughnut and later her husband was to walk in and join them. There were several doughnuts but they were for several people, it was perfectly reasonable what the woman was doing, but the gossiper had a need to discredit the woman, making it sound like she was unwise and glutenous.
The example of the woman in the doughnut shop is a silly one, but so applicable to many other situations in life. Be very careful before engaging in gossip or believing something that you did not see for yourself. If it did not happen to you ignore the information of others. If you did not see the signs of misconduct, do not give it another thought.
Ephesians 4:29
"Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear."
So many relationships are destroyed by gossip over things that are nothing more than half truth to turn others against the one gossiped about.
Proverbs 6:16-19
"There are six things that the Lord hates, seven that are an abomination to him: haughty eyes, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that make haste to run to evil, a false witness who breathes out lies, and one who sows discord among brothers."
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