The Narcissists Contempt

When the narcissists has contempt for you, everything you say and do, no matter how good or positive it is, will be an offense to them.

If you gave them a gift they will find something wrong with the gift.

If you set the table beautifully for them they will criticize that you wasted your time doing.

Whatever you do no matter how good, it will be seen as an affront, the narcissist cannot stand that you did well at something, they must knock it down so any joy you have is removed.

Remember the devil is in the business of ruining the joy in the life of the Christian. He sends people to us who are the pawns in our boot camp. They are sent of the devil and God allows it to show us how far we have come in our spiritual development and how much more we must grow.

Do we take it on the chin without emotion, when the narcissist does their dastardly deeds? Or do we rage back at their nonsense giving them more ammunition for later?

If we do not "react" to the ploys of the narcissist then we get to leave the incident with a clear conscience and the narcissist loses their battle over us. We can respond calmly, responding is different from reacting, then we will see by their "reaction" to our response, it will be vitriolic and out of control.

While you are remaining calm and in control of your emotions, the wicked man will be out of control and claim that you are instead of him.

Reactions are momentary outbursts of emotion, responding is to thoughtfully and calmly answer a matter according to the facts.

If we react in anger, shooting from the hip, caught off guard, then we have managed to supply the narcissist with validation against us. They believe if they can make us upset or angry, we are the ones who will look bad, they see this as a win. This is also the reason they accuse us of things we never did, hoping it will cause anger in us.

The best course of action when we notice that someone is full of themselves and rarely reasonable in conversation, is to avoid them entirely.

If we do not know that someone sees every conversation as a competition, as soon as we discover it, we can calmly answer with truth, then remove ourselves.

The evil man seeks only to dominate others, acting superior to control reactions and actions. Keeping their subjects in a one down position continually is the goal of the evil man. The mafia is full of these personality types. They love to dominate and control everyone in their wake. But the mafia is not the only place we see these monsters, they walk among us all the time.

This may not have occurred to many, it didn't with me until lately as I read the word of God, there is bloodshed in the heart of one who deliberately acts in ways they know will upset another person merely for their own entertainment.

Proverbs 29:9-11 "…9 When a wise man has a controversy with a foolish man, The foolish man either rages or laughs, and there is no rest. 10 Men of bloodshed hate the blameless, But the upright are concerned for his life. 11 A fool always loses his temper, But a wise man holds it back.…"

The hatred all by itself is evidence of a murderous heart.

1 John 3:14-15 "…14 We know that we have passed from death to life, because we love our brothers. The one who does not love remains in death. 15 Everyone who hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that eternal life does not reside in a murderer."

Of course everyone has flaws and may at one time or another employ an ungodly tactic to get the upper hand, this is not a deal breaker in a relationship, it can be resolved with confession and forgiveness.

However, if these tactics are used regularly as a means of overpowering others, then we are looking at a wicked man who does not have the love of Christ in his heart. There are women like this too, but I use "men" in a generic way, as in "mankind".

May the Lord give us each discernment in dealing with people in these last days of evil. We can see how it is growing unchecked everywhere, so it is my humble opinion that we should learn how to handle it when it comes to bite us.