Children learn far more from the attitudes and actions of their parents than they do from their words.
"More is caught than taught."
So many parents think it is enough to say things to their children, they don't actually have to live out what they say as long as it is said.
When there is a demonstration of arrogance and entitlement on any level by the parent, the children will learn to be selfish and entitled, only far worse. When a child is told to honor his parents but see their parents not honoring grandpa and grandma, then the child will learn that parents do not have to be honored. Mankind is hardwired to take the easy road while justifying disobedience to God based on what others are doing.
Each generation is being pampered worse than the last. Correction and instruction is disdained by many people these days because they were indulged as children.
When a parent raises their children using manipulation instead of straight talk they are teaching their children that they do not have to accept correction, they even become angry and withholding of love when they have been instructed.
I had one young woman tell me she has to make her daughter think something is her own idea to get her to obey. This is teaching the daughter that she doesn't have to do anything that is not her own idea.
Getting a child to do something is not the main objective in child training. The objective in child training is to teach the children to want to obey authority, whether or not they enjoy it.
The psychological teachings of today have infiltrated the thinking of many Christians. Time out is a good example, nearly all the young Christians today are using this in place of the spankings that God commands in the Bible.
Another false belief is to forgive before there is admission of sin. Children are learning that they can be forgiven without being sorry for their offenses. They have been trained by the culture that it is easier to sweep relationship problems under the rug instead of seeking solutions and searching their own hearts to resolve things. These teachings lead to an entitlement mentality that slops over into every other interaction.
I have actually had a young person tell me "you have to forgive me", when there was no change in their behavior. I do not accept apologies for offenses when the behavior remains exactly the same as before the apology. "Saying" one is sorry does not prove their have a heart of repentance. Its the easy way of hoping the other person will just forget about it while nothing in the relationship changes. Repeat offenses over and over again is proof there was not sorrow over sin.
When God said "forgive 70 X 7, the context reveals that these are not for the same offenses. God does not forgive those who merely speak sorrow, the turning from that sin is the expression of true sorrow. False sorrow is when the words are said, "I'm sorry" but in a disdainful manner while the revenge comes to punish the one who required accountability.
The young adults of today believe they are entitled to refuse instruction and correction, even worse they are passing these rebellious mentalities on to their children, our grandchildren.
When the latest human fad is the measure of truth for most young parents, they will not listen to the Bible. Any rebuke or correction will be seen as an attack. They are not able to recognize love anymore. The love that requires us to tell the truth according to God's Word to spare the hearer the pitfalls of their error.
Older Christian parents are grieved at the disrespect from nearly all young people. They tried to teach the principles of God to their children while the rest of the culture and extended family came against them continually. It is only through God's mercy in opening their eyes that they will see the sin in their own heart that motivates them to fight against truth.
Adult children who act superior and refuse instruction are walking in rebellion against parents and against God. One cannot dishonor parents without also living a life of dishonoring God.
In short to sum it all up, we need to continue praying for the salvation of these ones who may even say they are Christians but walk in continual rebellion against God's principles.
Finally to repeat: one cannot dishonor their parent and still honor God.
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