In Control or Controlling?

Being the person in control does not equate to being "controlling."

When we are in control we are guiding others without micro managing them.

Those who micro manage others are actually out of control. They do not feel they can trust anyone else to be intelligent enough to handle their own area of expertise.


In fact a controller usually has the false belief that they know everything about everything. They have experts on their team but do not recognize that those experts know more than they do about their particular field of expertise.

When I hire a plumber to come to my home to fix a problem I expect him to know how to do his job. I tell him the need and walk away to leave the final decisions for the job up to the plumber.

A man is the head of the household but he is not the one who is expert over all areas of managing that household. The woman, according to Proverbs 31 was given the job of household manager by God, she is to do that job according to the principles of God. The man has no business dictating or controlling her job.

Of course the man makes suggestions and discusses the major things with his wife so that she can do her job according to the mutual desires and needs of the household.

Husbands are not to bark orders at their wife as though she is a paid employee who could be fired for insubordination. Husbands are to live with their wives in understanding and respect.

Respect is not just for the husband on the part of the wife, it is also required in God's word that the man respect the needs and abilities of the wife. Honor and respect toward the wife is a command of God.

Sadly there are those in the homeschool movement who are teaching that only the man is to be honored and respected. This is false and damaging to a marriage.

1 Peter 3:7-8 "7 Husbands, in the same way, treat your wives with consideration as a delicate vessel, and with honor as fellow heirs of the gracious gift of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered. 8 Finally, all of you, be like-minded and sympathetic, love as brothers, be tender-hearted and humble.…"

God calls all believers to be mutually submissive one to another.

Ephesians 5:21-6:4
"21 Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God."