Proverbs 3:4-6 "…4 Then you will find favor and high regard in the sight of God and man. 5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; 6 in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.…"
We must set aside our personal desires and way of looking at life and see life with the mind of Christ.
Isaiah 58:7-9 …7 Let the wicked man forsake his own way and the unrighteous man his own thoughts; let him return to the LORD, that He may have compassion, and to our God, for He will freely pardon. 8 “For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways,” declares the LORD.9 “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so My ways are higher than your ways and My thoughts than your thoughts.…"
Narcissists lack a conscience and empathy which allows them to justify any and all lies and manipulation while blaming others for his own flaws.
Narcissists are those who love power and domination over others. Once they have gained these things they will never let them go without a fight as well as taking down anyone who dares to oppose the narcissist.
We saw this in many prominent leaders and executives over the years, their chronic and obsessive need to get into power and to remain in power was clearly seen by those with discernment.
In order to see these things one must set aside their desire to believe someone and look at the clues, often the evidence is there but ignored because of the desire to embrace words. In our culture, even in the Christian community words are enough there doesn't have to be any evidence of character.
The narcissist is interested in being revered but they do not care about being loved. They would rather have people fear them than love them. Anyone who loves them will be used and manipulated to subjugate themselves to them.
Narcissists despise and use those who love them as well as those who fear them, but the narcissist enjoys the fear far more than the love. This is the reason they are continually attempting to intimidate others with rage to dominate over anyone who will disagree with them.
Power and respect are idols to the narcissist. They crave these things to the point of fighting for them at the expense of all relationships in their wake.
Proverbs 18:2
"A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion."
Proverbs 1:7
"The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge; fools despise wisdom and instruction."
Proverbs 29:9
"If a wise man has an argument with a fool, the fool only rages and laughs, and there is no quiet."
Proverbs 13:20
"Whoever walks with the wise becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm."
Proverbs 15:14
"The heart of him who has understanding seeks knowledge, but the mouths of fools feed on folly."
If we want to be discerning we must look past all the tricks of the narcissist and evaluate the clues. The clues are there, it's just a matter of refusing to have idols that you cannot evaluate. Any time we have allegiance so much for one person that we cannot evaluate every side of them, we have an idol.
When we read God's word we believe every word and seek the Holy Spirit to understand. We do not question the wisdom of God. But we are required to question the wisdom of any human being, evaluating it according to the word of God. The word of God comes out on top every time. If the human being does not say what God says then we disregard what the human being said. IF the actions of the human being do not match with their godly words then we disregard their influence over us.
1 John 3:18 "18 Little children, let us love not in word and speech, but in action and truth. 19 And by this we will know that we belong to the truth, and will assure our hearts in His presence:…"
James 2:17-19 "…17So too, faith by itself, if it does not result in action, is dead. 18But someone will say, “You have faith and I have deeds. Show me your faith without deeds, and I will show you my faith by my deeds. 19You believe that God is one. Good for you! Even the demons believe that—and shudder.…"
We are foolish if we evaluate anyone according to their words alone. Words and actions are two sides of the same coin, they cannot be separated. If the words are there but the actions are not, then we cannot believe the words. However, if the words are not there and the actions are, then we are more likely to believe the ways of a person.
"Actions speak louder than words", another saying resonates with me; "your actions speak so loud I can't hear a word you are saying."
Too many people are disregarding the Words of God to embrace the words of men, this leads to all kinds of error and sin. God has demonstrated by His actions how much He loves us and that His words are perfectly true, we can believe Him, we can trust Him.
Often what man thinks is a good idea actually violates the ways of God. Our human thinking is deeply flawed by our feelings and desires. We must seek the heart of God to be able to think in the right ways according to God's Word.
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