The Nature of Gossip and God's Solution

I was just recently asked about the nature of gossip and what it produces. Over the years I have seen all forms of gossip, much of it is non-verbal.

When someone treats us disrespectfully through dismissiveness or encourages someone to disregard us through, what I call, disapproving grunting sounds, instead of communication, with the hope that the only person who will notice is the target of the disrespect and those looking on who will conclude that something is wrong with us, there will be a continuing occurrence of this mentality that is so far reaching that only God can fix it.

Contemptuous actions come in many forms, one of which is disregard for our lives in general. Have you ever met someone who seem to disapprove of everything you say and do when there is nothing wrong with what you have said or done? This is rampant among those who do not know Christ. Acting superior to control the minds and emotions of others is the very tactic the devil uses often. Not only do these people attempt to control the minds of their targets they also attempt to influence others to treat the target the same way they treat them.

I have seen these tactics used in extended families in which the main narcissists drive the thinking and emotions of all the other flying monkeys. Whatever the main narcissist is doing is followed by the rest of the family without any evidence of wrongdoing. As long as the leader desires to think something is wrong the rest will think there is too even if they have never seen it for themselves.

When this happens those who are involved in group-think will evaluate everything the target is doing, even good deeds, as foolish or wrong just because of their prejudice against the target. Once the narcissistic leader has instilled this attitude of contempt in their flying monkeys it is impossible to change their minds.

This is why broken relationships based on the influence of the narcissist can never be repaired. This is the reason we have racism in our culture and judging based on feelings far more than rational thinking that leads to investigation to find out the truth about an individual.

I have seen and experienced groups who were given a "heads-up" about someone and would base how they treat them on what they have heard and not on anything they have seen for themselves.

The fact that it is rare for the hearer of the gossip to go to the target and ask whether something is true or not is because the hearers are loyal to the narcissist and fear going against them, so they choose to believe what they heard, and continue the trickle down effect to other new comers to the group.

This is why it is crucial to find those who do not know the narcissists and their flying monkeys and move on from them in a new life free from gossip and drama.

Thank the Lord He gives us plenty of scripture that describes them with the instructions to remove ourselves, cleansing our lives of the ungodly who create drama for no other reason than to feel superior.

2 Timothy 3 describes these trouble makers and shows us that they are increasing in the world right before Christ comes for His church. We have this to look forward to as we "look up" toward God in joyful expectation of our homegoing.

Do not be discouraged or intimidated just keep on following Christ, expunge from your lives those who want to believe their lies and omission about you and be confident that God will give you new relationships that are not like the world and will edify us as we edify one another.

Ephesians 4:29

"Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear."

Romans 14:19

"So then let us pursue what makes for peace and for mutual upbuilding."

1 Corinthians 14:26

"What then, brothers? When you come together, each one has a hymn, a lesson, a revelation, a tongue, or an interpretation. Let all things be done for building up."

1 Thessalonians 5:11

"Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing."

Let go of all those who attempt to discourage you from your calling and wait on God to bring others who love Him as much as you do.