Our character cannot be changed by our deeds, it must be changed by a work of Christ in us.
Deciding to change our behavior only changes the appearances on the outside, it is Christ who changes us into a new creation which is permanent.
Ephesians 2:10
Those who backslide are those who are attempting to make themselves good by their deeds, this does not last it is only a change within our hearts and by the Holy Spirit of God that is real and lasting.
When we are changed by Christ all desire to do unkind things to others is removed. We care only about helping others through speaking truth that heals.
2 Corinthians 5:17
"Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away. Behold, the new has come!"
James 2:17-18
"So too, faith by itself, if it does not result in action, is dead. / But someone will say, “You have faith and I have deeds.” Show me your faith without deeds, and I will show you my faith by my deeds."
We first have faith with our changed mind and then follow the works that Christ has given us to do. We must first "BE" in our hearts before we can "ACT" in His will and purpose.
Many people try to "do" first without being changed by Christ, it is false, builds pride, and does not last. Trying harder is not the solution for the believer. Praying more and asking God to change our hearts is the answer.
Psalm 51:10
"Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me."
When we try to clean up our own heart it has the stink of pride and self-will all over it. When Christ cleans us up He gets the glory and it fosters a humble spirit in the one who has submitted to Him.
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