Thank the Lord for His system of relationships restoration. When confession of sin and brokenness occurs in the heart of the offender, the heart is changed forever.
When forgiveness is extended out of a deep love for the offender, then there is reconciliation.
When someone repents, and the spouse forgives, the impact of the sinful event diminishes greatly over time until it is only a faded memory and no longer a hurt.
People can and do change but only if there is a strong sense of hatred for sin. The person who forgives an offender is one who has sorrow for the pain the offender is going through and wants to restore them to fellowship.
Galatians 6:1-2 "1 Brothers, if someone is caught in a trespass, you who are spiritual should restore him with a spirit of gentleness. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted. 2 Carry one another’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ."
Restoration does not happen by flippanly saying words, its a spiritual desire to make things right, to be healed from the sin and to heal others of their pain of hurt.
When there is indifference to the offender and the only focus is on sparing oneself, then there is false forgiveness with a selfish motive. We ought to care more deeply about the spiritual well-being of the offender than we do about ourselves.
If we care about others, we will inform them about how their actions or attitudes have harmed someone so they can repent and be cleansed while the relationship is restored and strengthened.
Stoicism and psychology cares only about protecting oneself, very little about the rehabilitation of those who have repented. This is why it teaches; "forgive for your own sake" instead of the model of relationship restoration God requires.
Luke 17:4 "nd if he sins against you seven times in the day, and turns to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him.”
Let's not forget the part of this passage that says; "if the offender turns and says, 'I repent, ' you must forgive him."
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