Confession of offense and forgiveness are two sides of the same coin in relationship resolution. Both must be present for the relationship to be restored.
We do not forgive for our own feelings; we do not become bitter when we do not forgive the unrepentant. We bless those who curse us, treat them with the respect they didn't give us when in company, but cannot have a relationship with them.
God's way of forgiveness is repentance, forgiveness, and then restoration of the relationship, the same way He expects us to forgive.
Luke 17:3-4 "3 Pay attention to yourselves! If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him, 4 and if he sins against you seven times in the day, and turns to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him.”
Matthew 18:17 "
If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector."
People who are rebellious and divisive must be avoided. Those who are rude, offensive and destructive will continually cause trouble between friends.
Romans 16:17-18 "17 Now I urge you, brothers and sisters, keep your eye on those who cause dissensions and hindrances contrary to the teaching which you learned, and turn away from them. 18 For such people are slaves, not of our Lord Christ but of their own appetites; and by their smooth and flattering speech they deceive the hearts of the unsuspecting."
This means we are to not associate with those who will not confess their sin and even justify it.
Because the church as a whole is not obeying God in this command to forgive God's way, the entire society has neglected accountability, leaving people as spiritual and emotional infants.
These people are not only not sorry for their offenses, but they expect to be reinstated in broken relationships while nothing has changed.
People are not growing wiser, stronger in the Lord, nor are they reconciling. The relationship remains broken, the people remain broken, and their witness of Christ is broken.
Those who follow God's Word and expect others to do the same will be excluded and gossiped about, even when their aim is to help mend and restore relationships.
Pray for those in rebellion at a distance, and be sure to pray for your own heart as you do, that you not become bitter, but also that we not concentrate on it continually, ruining the other parts of our life that we must attend to.
May we not abandon God's way just to have people around us, let's promote obedience to God, and those who love Him will be our friends.
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