The Wings Belong to the Same Bird

"What if I told you the Right wing and the Left Wing belong to the same bird?"

There's another saying; from Wikipedia

"If it looks like a duck, swims like a duck, and quacks like a duck, then it probably is a duck."
The test implies that a person can identify an unknown subject by observing that subject's habitual characteristics."

The only difference between the liberals and the conservatives is that they have a different set of sins they enjoy. Liberals are seemingly more blatant in their rebellion against God and the Conservatives are more subtle and covert.

Marriage Bed

There are many families now who have children sleeping with them until they are 8-12 years old. It is my opinion that this is a way for the parent to avoid loneliness after the loss of a spouse, either through divorce or death. If these things occur then it is understandable for a time, to comfort the grieving children until the emotional pain subsides. There are also those spouses who are avoiding intimate relations with their spouse by having a child in the bed. 

In the case of a normal family setting where there is no divorce or death, then the parent who continually brings a child into the bed, may be having trouble saying no to a contentious child. When we cannot say no to a child out of fear of their anger toward us, then we are placing that child in the position of leader or controller of the relationship.

From my studies I find that children who sleep from birth to age 8 or beyond, tend to be spoiled, bratty and attention seekers. They consider themselves superior to the other children in the household who have to sleep in their own beds, while sending the message to the other children that they are not special enough to enjoy this privilege. The favorite child who sleeps with parents is usually cruel to those who do not have this special treatment. The child is unknowingly being groomed to be a narcissist. This favored child is often disobedient to the other parent that might desire to have the privacy of the bed between her/him and their spouse.

It is also my humble opinion that children who dominate the beds of adults see the adult as an equal and friend rather than a parent. The child very likely grows up to feel superior, entitled and even contemptuous toward all authority. The favored child will expect and demand his desires, even turning on the parent who allows them to dominate the relationship, eventually there will be relational problems when the child’s demands become overwhelming and continual. There is also the strong possibility of marital problems when the indulging spouse will not care about the desires of their partner, continually refusing to remove the child from their bed.  

There is a break down in parental authority when a parent becomes too intimate with an older child. Love is far different from intimacy. Intimacy is reserved for married couples not a parent and a child.

The marriage bed is for the married couple, not for older children. It is one thing for a mother to bring a baby to bed while nursing, or if the young child is ill or frightened and quite another to make a practice of sleeping and cuddling all night long with an older child. That level of intimacy should be reserved for the spouse.

In a world where there are so many divorces, this practice of sleeping with older children has escalated, causing rebellion in the children. The privileged children who gets to sleep with daddy or mommy are elevated in their own eyes while the other children in the family who do not get to sleep with daddy or mommy are devalued, they feel a sense of being left out or unimportant. 

Children need to learn the authority pecking order. A commander of a military troop does not share the same quarters with his men. He cares for them, sacrifices for them, shares their living experiences, however he keeps them where they belong, under his authority. Intimacy in private quarters would be a break down in morale and authority. While I understand that families are not military issue, I also know that a break down in authority causes chaos and rebellion. 

We can deeply love our children while teaching them that the marriage bed is for the marriage partners, except in special circumstances when there is a need for protection and healing.


Sadly far too many parents are using their children as emotional supply, rather than seeing them as pliable needy little people who must to be trained to become strong in their own right, able to know right from wrong, depending on Christ for their needs instead of people.



When a child cannot sleep in their own bed, secure and happy, there has been created an unhealthy emotional bond that goes beyond love, to total dependency and in some cases perversion. The parent is depending on the child for his emotional stability and the child is learning to place his trust in one human being alone for his supply of love. The child will also eventually feel burdened when it comes time to detach from the parent to begin his own family. There is a greater potential for growing a perverted closeness when the child learns to cuddle all night lone with a parent.

Back in the day, babies had their own beds, they were called cradles. Mothers and Fathers removed the baby from their own bed to care for their needs, feeding, changing, storytelling and family experiences. There was a lot of interaction, love, care and nurturing, when it came time to sleep, the child knew he had his own bed for sleeping, there was no question that this is the way it was. Parents were the authority and children were children under the authority of the parents.

Those lines have been blurred now, almost non-existent, the child doesn’t know where they belong in the pecking order, they think they are in charge and it is really too much for them. They live in a world of making decisions and demands they should never have to make. Children feel much more secure and loved when someone else is in charge, confident about what is to be done while enforcing the order.  

Children are much more insecure today than they have ever been, they lack confidence, they are prideful and demanding but they have little confidence. Parents have been allowing the children to be in charge, making them insecure, leaving them with the feeling of danger, not knowing right from wrong, up or down.

Ephesians 6:1 “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.”

When we allow children to have their own way, even if it isn’t good for them or the family, we are teaching them to disobey, not only us, but God too.

Colossians 3:20 “Children, be obedient to your parents in all things, for this is well-pleasing to the Lord.”

Exodus 20:12 ““Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you. “

Ephesians 6:4 “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. “

Proverbs 22:6 “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it. “
Deuteronomy 21:18-21 ““If a man has a stubborn and rebellious son who will not obey the voice of his father or the voice of his mother, and, though they discipline him, will not listen to them, then his father and his mother shall take hold of him and bring him out to the elders of his city at the gate of the place where he lives, and they shall say to the elders of his city, ‘This our son is stubborn and rebellious; he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton and a drunkard.’ Then all the men of the city shall stone him to death with stones. So you shall purge the evil from your midst, and all Israel shall hear, and fear. "

Proverbs 13:24 “Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him. “

A parent who give into the whims and tantrums of a child is training that child to be rebellious in every way.  

Proverbs 29:15 “The rod and reproof give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother.”

Does anyone think that requiring a child to respect the marriage bed as for husband and wife, is too harsh or too provincial? It was the practice for thousands of years, before the onset of a permissive and rebellious culture. Does this not tell us something? 

Many things this modern generation thinks is perfectly alright to do, has broken down the parent child relationship and ultimately destroyed the entire family structure.  

For those who have not heard the term “Pecking Order”: Merriam Webster Dictionary
“1 : a basic pattern of social organization within a flock of poultry in which each bird pecks another lower in the scale without being pecked in return and allows pecking by one of higher rank
2 : a social order with ranks or classes”

 

Words Mean Nothing!

Many people think all they have to do is say something, they don't actually have to live it. We live in a virtual fantasy world of words, actions are not required.

James 2:14-26
"14 What does it profit, my brethren, if someone says he has faith but does not have works? Can faith save him?
15 If a brother or sister is naked and destitute of daily food,
16 and one of you says to them, “Depart in peace, be warmed and filled,” but you do not give them the things which are needed for the body, what does it profit?
17 Thus also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead.
18 But someone will say, “You have faith, and I have works.” Show me your faith without your works, and I will show you my faith by my works.
19 You believe that there is one God. You do well. Even the demons believe—and tremble!
20 But do you want to know, O foolish man, that faith without works is dead? 21 Was not Abraham our father justified by works when he offered Isaac his son on the altar?
22 Do you see that faith was working together with his works, and by works faith was made perfect?
23 And the Scripture was fulfilled which says, “Abraham believed God, and it was accounted to him for righteousness.” And he was called the friend of God.
24 You see then that a man is justified by works, and not by faith only.
25 Likewise, was not Rahab the harlot also justified by works when she received the messengers and sent them out another way?
26 For as the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without works is dead also."

If we say something that we believe, it has no validity unless we actually do what we say. Words are not enough, in fact they are nothing, unless backed up by attitude and actions. Our attitudes and actions prove what we say, words alone prove nothing.

Love Demonstrated in Understanding

Love forgets about self and places us in the shoes of another person, rather than attempting to force that person into our own mold.
 

https://www.facebook.com/135608876478350/videos/854450101260887/

Can Not Walk Narcissisticaly and With Christ At the Same Time

The traits of a narcissists are as follows, there are more and the tactics are many, however, the results are always the same, the destruction of relationships. Even the narcissist can be delivered if he/she ever seeks God for deliverance.

Superiority, expecting to be honored and worshiped while refusing to honor anyone else.

Sense of special entitlement, lacking concern for others

Arrogance

 Envy while believing others are envious of them

Lack of empathy, unable to feel bad or good for others

Grandiosity

Exploitative and controlling attitude

Fantasies about power and status

Grandiose and overblown idealized view of oneself

If you find yourself indulging in these sins, it is time to admit it, repent, decide you want deliverance and begin asking the Holy Spirit to cleanse you.

One cannot walk with Christ and live in the state of narcissism at the same time.

2 Timothy 3:1-5

She Appeals to Her Mother

OH MY GOODNESS!!!! We need to all think like this, how many times have we fought and argued over almost nothing, when all we had to do was give up our temporary rights to please another human being.

How every child feels but are not able to express as eloquently!
If everyone would stop trying to be superior to everyone else, we could get along.  It is only mean spirited superiority that causes all the problems. Judging others based on our own desire to be special and superior, destroys relationships.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DS92Whbb5w4

Our Strength Comes From the Lord

People tend to operate in crowd mentality. There may be some in the family group are not really seeing what has been gossiped about us, but they are too weak to stand alone and tell the truth so they capitulate to the crowd.

The "tribal" mentality is very strong and tends to attempt to force anyone who "walks to their own drummer" to come in line with the crowd. Anyone who thinks for themselves is a threat to the "family unit."

Just look at fads and trends, they grow exponentially because, rather than evaluating what is done, the masses simply jump on the band wagon to be accepted by the group or culture.

The "free thinker" threatens the norm of the group. Being different makes insecure people feel small or wrong, so they attack the one that lives what they believe contrary to the group. We see this in church gatherings too, those with perfectly valid complaints or questions about doctrine are summarily dismissed or ignored entirely to maintain the status quo, a greater goal than learning and growing.

We have seen this in cultures where someone tries to leave the culture, striking out on their own to better their life, while the group demeans, attacks emotionally and even physically to bring the free thinker back in line with the thinking and failure of the group.

This reminds me of a young woman I knew who lived with family members who were all on welfare, having babies out of wedlock and living continually lazy immoral lives. This young woman came to me in tears one day because she expressed to her family that she wanted to go to college, wait until she was married to have a baby and find a loving kind man to marry. Her family bludgeoned her with shame and guilt for "thinking so highly of herself", they made it clear that she had ideas "above her station", my words not theirs.

I have seen this a number of times in my life, each time is grieves me and then it makes me angry. In the case of this young woman, she gave up, as they set her up with boyfriends, she ended up pregnant at sixteen and on welfare. She was too weak to stand against them, it was understandable because she was not a believer and did not have the strength of the Holy Spirit to help her. I tried to encourage her, that she could accomplish those things, along with the gospel message, she was open and happy when she left my house each time, but then she stopped coming, then is when she had succumbed to the pressure of her ungodly family.

When we have Christ, seeking Him for everything, reading His word often, we gain the strength that all by ourselves we would never have, but in Christ we are vigorous and hearty, able to face all criticism with resolve to do what we know is right.

Proverbs 3:5-8

5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart
And do not lean on your own understanding.
6
In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He will make your paths straight.
7 Do not be wise in your own eyes;
Fear the Lord and turn away from evil.
8 It will be healing to your [a]body
And refreshment to your bones.

We can trust the Lord to make us strong when we seek Him for everything, even willing to be continually rejected for our choices. The more we are rejected, the more we have to stand, the greater our strength.

Romans 5:1-5

The results of being justifed in Christ!

"1 Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ,
2 through whom also we have obtained our introduction by faith into this grace in which we stand; and we exult in hope of the glory of God.
3 And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations, knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance;
4 and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope;
5 and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us."