Only One Day a Year to Honor?

Sometimes, as I ponder a subject, thinking about all its nuances, the light bulb goes on, and I realize something about that matter that I don't hear anyone else talking or writing about.

This time, as I pondered my dislike for birthday celebrations for me, it occurred to me why I dislike them for myself.

 
I see no mention in the Bible of people throwing parties for birthdays, that alone does not make it questionable, however, as I considered the whole matter of birthdays I realized that they began back in Egypt in the ancient cultures to celebrate the day of the birth of a pharaoh as he was corronated as a leader into godhood.

Many cultures of the world do not celebrate the day of someone's birth as do Americans.

 
When I was a child, I waited anxiously for the day to come for my birthday because it meant cake and presents. There were no deeper thoughts than what I would get out of it for one day a year. When I grew up, I began asking the question, "Why do we do this?", The answer that came back from people was that they wanted to honor the person, letting them know they were glad they were born. O.K., that sounds nice, but it still didn't convince me it was something to do for that reason alone.

 
1 Corinthians 13:11 "When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I thought as a child, I reasoned as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things"

 
As an adult and later a Christian, I had no desire to be the center of attention, having a special day just for me; in fact, I found it embarrassing.

 
As I reflected on the matter of birthdays, I saw some things that didn't make sense to me. Wouldn't it be better to treat people with love, kindness, and respect all year, all the time, instead of the whole birthday celebration thing once a year? Some people we only hear from once a year on that day.

Often, I have seen family members wish you a happy birthday but are unkind, unloving, and rude the rest of the year. This didn't make sense to me because if they were really glad we were born, then wouldn't they be kind, loving, and respectful all the rest of the days of the year? Many are not even kind and loving on that celebration day; they force us into compliance with their plans without consulting us, and act angry if we don't do what they want.

 
That one day a year of birthday celebration can be a burden when the rest of the year has been so strenuous and heavy with disregard.

 
Then the Lord showed me why this simple and seemingly innocent day of celebration was questionable to me.

 
When someone who has been unkind most of the year suddenly on your birthday they are all smiles, gifts, and cake on your birthday, the celebration feels heavy and phony.

 
Matthew 15:7-9 "…7 You hypocrites! Isaiah prophesied correctly about you: 8‘These people honor Me with their lips, but their hearts are far from Me. 9 They worship Me in vain; they teach as doctrine the precepts of men.’ ”

Then God showed me this: when someone surprises you with a party on your birthday, you are obligated to fawn over the person who gives it, or you are seen as rude. Even if you don't like birthdays and would rather it be just another day, you are still expected to go along with what the others want for you on that day.

 
In fact, it has been my experience that it is futile to ask people not to bother with your birthday because they're so convinced you must have a celebration that you become the rude one for wanting to ignore your own day of birth. So, our birthday becomes not about us at all, but about those who want to have a party.

 
In my opinion, a valid one at that, if our birthday were about us, shouldn't we be consulted as to whether or not we have a celebration? Just saying!

I am convinced, based on what I have seen, that a "surprise birthday party" does not allow the person with a birthday a decision; the one planning the party disregards the feelings of the one they are supposedly honoring. To surprise someone is to force them into compliance without a choice, so it really isn't about honoring them, or there would be no celebration for those who don't want one.

 
Birthday celebrations are so much a part of our American culture that most people cannot understand, nor do they accept someone who does not want a celebration for themselves on their birthday. In fact, people are not taken seriously when they say, "Please don't do anything for my birthday."

The greeting card industry has managed to make people feel guilty if they don't send a card on the holidays. What an ingenious scam. Create a holiday that requires us to comply to cultural mandates to send a card and become wealthy over it.
Here is one example of cultural pressure to conform to others while claiming to honor us.

 
I have no problem with people having birthday celebrations if they want one, and I will even attend a birthday gathering for others when invited. But to foist our own desire for a party onto the one who does not want one is not about love or kindness; it is about pleasing the one who wants to be the center of attention for throwing the party.

 
On Facebook, I enjoy every day, the companionship of lovely believers who edify one another in Christ. I need nothing more than that in my life to give me a sense of belonging and purpose.

The day of our birth was significant, but the rest of our lives are much more significant.

 
Traditions of men are burdensome to those who wish not to participate.

 
Isaiah 1:11-15
“What good to Me is your multitude of sacrifices?” says the LORD. “I am full from the burnt offerings of rams and the fat of well-fed cattle; I take no delight in the blood of bulls and lambs and goats. / When you come to appear before Me, who has required this of you—this trampling of My courts? / Bring your worthless offerings no more; your incense is detestable to Me. New Moons, Sabbaths, and convocations—I cannot endure iniquity in a solemn assembly."

 
The Lord was not pleased with those who pretended to love Him in words and man's traditions but cared nothing for Him otherwise.

 
Those who throw surprise parties do it to be in control of the one who does not want a birthday celebration. They want the glory for giving the party without regard to the desires of the one they are supposedly honoring. There is no honor in being forced into a celebration for yourself that you never wanted. And, to top it all off, we are seen as the rude ones who don't want a party for ourselves; it just doesn't make any sense at all.

I am one of those people who want everything I do to have a Biblical purpose, and most human celebrations have little purpose except to bring glory to man.

 
Mark 7:1-22
Traditions and Commandments
7 Now when the Pharisees gathered to him, with some of the scribes who had come from Jerusalem,
2 they saw that some of his disciples ate with hands that were defiled, that is, unwashed.
3 (For the Pharisees and all the Jews do not eat unless they wash their hands properly, holding to the tradition of the elders,
4 and when they come from the marketplace, they do not eat unless they wash. And there are many other traditions that they observe, such as the washing of cups and pots and copper vessels and dining couches.
5 And the Pharisees and the scribes asked him, “Why do your disciples not walk according to the tradition of the elders, but eat with defiled hands?”
6 And he said to them, “Well did Isaiah prophesy of you hypocrites, as it is written,
“‘This people honors me with their lips,
but their heart is far from me;
7 in vain do they worship me,
teaching as doctrines the commandments of men.’"

So the conclusion of the matter for me is that if we want to honor someone, we would do what pleases them, even if it goes against the expected traditions of others. And, honor, love and kindness should be how we treat someone all year long.

 
If I were to choose to celebrate the day of my birth with someone, it would be those who treat me with love, kindness, and respect all the rest of the year, not those who use that one day a year to alleviate their own guilt for their dishonor all the rest of the year.

 
I think God must feel that way, too, when people claim to be honoring Him but disregard His principles and commands all the rest of the year.

 
Why do we do things? This is the important question for all matters.

Rude People

Rude people want us to either fear them or fight with them. When we obey Christ, showing them the respect they didn't show us, we avoid becoming like them. Our witness is that of Christ-likeness that destroys the tactic of the devil and leaves us with a clear conscience.

 
1 Peter 3:8-10 "8 Finally, all of you, be like-minded and sympathetic, love as brothers, be tenderhearted and humble. 9 Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing. 10 For, “Whoever would love life and see good days must keep his tongue from evil and his lips from deceitful speech."

The devil wants us to react to rude people so he can diminish our witness with those around us. To react to rudeness is to be self-focused. When Christ is our focus, we do not respond out of anger or frustration rather, we leave the unkind person to God. After all, He knows what He needs to do on our behalf.

Reacting in anger to anger is a violation of the scripture that says not to "return evil for evil."

Having said all of this, we must remember that continuing to tolerate rudeness, thinking we are going to influence the rude person to change, only solidifies their hardened heart. So, what is the answer? The answer if they continue to be rude is to walk away and stay away until they are shown by God their own hearts and repent.
Never worry about losing someone who is constantly rude. It is better to be alone than to be in contact with those who disrespect us repeatedly. And, the more we are around someone, the more we begin to take on their attitudes through frequent exposure to their ways.

We become like those we spend the most time with merely by continual exposure to their ways. This is why God told us to be diligent about who are our constant companions.

Proverbs 13:19-20 "…19 Desire fulfilled is sweet to the soul, but turning from evil is detestable to fools. 20He who walks with the wise will become wise, but the companion of fools will be destroyed."

1 Corinthians 15:33
"Do not be deceived: “Bad company corrupts good character.”

Psalm 1:1
"Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked, or set foot on the path of sinners, or sit in the seat of "

2 Corinthians 6:14
"Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership can righteousness have with wickedness? Or what fellowship does light have with darkness?"

Proverbs 22:24-25
"Do not make friends with an angry man, and do not associate with a hot-tempered man, or you may learn his ways and entangle yourself in a snare."

When we surround ourselves with those who love and seek Christ we will grow in holiness without the constant pressure against us to conform to the ungodly. We will live peacefully with great joy and hope when our companions love Christ as we do.

Born-Agains are Far Different from Pretenders

We are all born with a natural bent toward selfishness.
Before I was born again, everything I did, even the good acts, was to seek praise of some kind. I was not as competitive as so many people are, but I did desire to be seen as good.

After I heard the gospel and learned that I was not good and was not worthy of praise, I repented of my sinful nature, and the acts of kindness became about others and not myself; it was about my desire to be kind for God's sake. Kindness and love became so much a part of our being when we were saved that it was extended without thinking, automatically, because it is our nature.

 
When Christ changed me, I no longer thought the same way as I did before. Before I was saved, I enjoyed sin and all its pleasures; however, after I was born again, I hated the very things I used to love. I began loving the ways and things of God so much so that if the old self raised it's head temporarily or I was tempted I couldn't stand it and quickly called upon God to return me to right thinking.

 
James 4:6-8 "6 But He gives us more grace. This is why it says: “God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.” 7 Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. 8 Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded."

Sadly, I do not hear many people who attend churches have a testimony of their changed attitude. I do hear a lot about what is right and what is wrong, but nothing about how their heart were completely different. Many Christians raised in the church never had an "aha" experience that drove them to Christ to be completely changed.

 
Cultural Christianity endorses rules and regulations without a changed heart. They seek to follow the principles of God, often misinterpreting the Bible in their quest to appear superior to others, but have never changed that selfish nature that seeks after personal gratification and self-elevation.

 
Cultural Christians "pride" themselves as never having done the "big" sins, but neglect the sinful and destructive attitude of pride that leads them to pursue fleshly superiority that elevates self above godliness generated by the Holy Spirit.

 
If the Holy Spirit is not the One changing a heart, then there is no salvation. Religious practices and holidays are all orchestrated to make oneself feel that they are good for doing them. It isn't about inward transformation but rather for outward appearances to impress others, or to gain the validation of those who require the practices to fit into their model of Christianity. In other words, to be accepted by the group.

 
Those in the cultural church love to judge others for not doing what they do, even if it has nothing to do with sin. Born-again Christians who are dedicated to God's word out of love for Him are rejected by the cultural Christians.

 
Authentic Christianity is not smearing frosting on the cake of the heart it is a complete transformation that only Christ can do within us.

 
Ezekiel 11:19 "And I will give them one heart, and a new spirit I will put within them. I will remove the heart of stone from their flesh and give them a heart of flesh,"

Galatians 4:6 "And because you are sons, God sent the Spirit of His Son into our hearts, crying out, 'Abba, Father!”

1 John 4:13 "By this we know that we remain in Him, and He in us: He has given us of His Spirit."

John 15:26 "When the Advocate comes, whom I will send to you from the Father—the Spirit of truth who proceeds from the Father—He will testify about Me."

1 John 5:10 "Whoever believes in the Son of God has this testimony within him; whoever does not believe God has made Him out to be a liar, because he has not believed in the testimony that God has given about His Son."

2 Corinthians 5:17 "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come."
Psalm 51:10 "Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me."

There are even people who would pray the Psalm for the Lord to cleanse their hearts, but then continue attempting to be their version of a clean heart in their own strength. We know when this is happening because their heart remains dedicated to appearances and adherence to fleshly rituals that they use to pressure others to be like them.

 
Ezekiel 36:26 "And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh."

Notice that God says, "I will give you a new heart." Nowhere does God say we should try to make a better heart in ourselves. If God does not do it, then it is not done, only an appearance that is exposed to authentic believers, able to see the heart of a man because of the Holy Spirit Who lives in them.

 
It is not always possible to discern who is who because pretenders can be very clever at talking the talk without walking the walk, while hiding their motives that do not match up with God's heart.

 
Matthew 13:24-30 The Parable of the Wheat and the Tares
24 Another parable He put forth to them, saying: “The kingdom of heaven is like a man who sowed good seed in his field;
25 but while men slept, his enemy came and sowed tares among the wheat and went his way.
26 But when the grain had sprouted and produced a crop, then the tares also appeared.
27 So the servants of the owner came and said to him, ‘Sir, did you not sow good seed in your field? How then does it have tares?’
28 He said to them, ‘An enemy has done this.’ The servants said to him, ‘Do you want us then to go and gather them up?’
29 But he said, ‘No, lest while you gather up the tares you also uproot the wheat with them.
30 Let both grow together until the harvest, and at the time of harvest I will say to the reapers, “First gather together the tares and bind them in bundles to burn them, but gather the wheat into my barn.”

 
Authentic born-again believers can sense the Holy Spirit in one another, and they can sense a lack of connection with those who are pretenders.

 
Romans 8:15-17 "…15 For you did not receive a spirit of slavery that returns you to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship, by whom we cry, “Abba! Father!”
16 The Spirit Himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children.
17 And if we are children, then we are heirs: heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ—if indeed we suffer with Him, so that we may also be glorified with Him."

The beauty of the walk of the born-again believer is that we don't have to rely on our senses or figure out things in our own minds; we can ask the Holy Spirit, and He will guide us in everything.

 
John 16:12-14 "… 12 I still have much to tell you, but you cannot yet bear to hear it. 13 However, when the Spirit of truth comes, He will guide you into all truth. For He will not speak on His own, but He will speak what He hears, and He will declare to you what is to come. 14 He will glorify Me by taking from what is Mine and disclosing it to you."

Notice God said those who belong to Him will glorify HIM and not any other person or themselves.

https://youtube.com/shorts/UxVV6VQLmfc?si=HULJzQH5hrvBzAHF

https://youtube.com/shorts/UxVV6VQLmfc?si=HULJzQH5hrvBzAHF

What is an Idol?

Pictures of a man depicting Christ are not Him. This makes it a lie, if we need a picture of any kind to remind us of Christ, then we are not demonstrating faith toward the One Who lives inside of us. We walk by faith, not by sight.

 
Also, an example here might help. If you placed a picture of a man who was not your husband on the wall and called him your husband, I am quite sure your husband would be angered that you are wishing that picture of a man was your real husband.
Pretending is the greatest deceit of the devil to derail our faith.

 
Pretending is fantasy thinking designed to make us feel warm and fuzzy inside; it has nothing to do with resting in Christ.

 
Exodus 20 not only speaks of idols but of anything we pretend is God, just to satisfy our feelings, the shallowest and most infantile part of our being.
Satan loves any lie to ruin our faith.

The Command to Agree with the Guidance of the Holy Spirit

I have lost friends over the false doctrine of Calvinism. I was willing to remain friends, however, those who are dedicated to Calvin didn't want me anymore when they learned I did not come on board with their doctrine.

 
I have lost friends over the false doctrine of the "nephilim", angels mating with humans, because I did not come on board with their false narrative.

 
I have lost friends over the matter of divorce and remarriage because I did not support divorce and remarriage. Some have not only rejected my friendship because of this matter, but they also gossiped against me and turned others away from me because I did not come on board with their false doctrine.

I have lost friends over the false doctrine of the flat earth because I did not come on board with their belief system that the earth was flat.

I have lost friends because I exposed the false church system of prosperity, for my stand against the one-man-paid pastor system, and for many other things that were patently against the teachings of the Bible.

 
Much of what has been taught in the Christian church over the past few hundred years has been man-made religion with Christ tacked onto the end of it to fool people. This is why we know we are in the end of the end times, people are fighting with one another over false doctrines, dedicated to things that come against the Bible.

1 John 4:1
"Beloved, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God. For many false prophets have gone out into the world."

2 Peter 2:1
"Now there were also false prophets among the people, just as there will be false teachers among you. They will secretly introduce destructive heresies, even denying the Master who bought them—bringing swift destruction on themselves."

1 Timothy 4:1
"Now the Spirit expressly states that in later times some will abandon the faith to follow deceitful spirits and the teachings of demons,"

God told us to question all things so that we will not be deceived. Many people are so committed and staunch in their false beliefs that it is impossible to sit down with them in a friendly, loving manner and discuss with them from the Bible what God said.

 
When I have asked some people to look into the Bible with me to discuss something false, they refused, leading me to believe they were stubborn, arrogant, and most of all liked the false doctrine so much that they did not want to know the truth.

 
When we are humble and loving, we love to speak of the things of the Word of God to come to a common understanding. Or at the least disagree with kindness. 

 
God commanded us to agree as brothers and sisters, and the only way to do that is if both parties are seeking Christ and willing to look into His Word for His meaning.

 
Romans 12:16-18
"16 Be of the same mind toward one another; do not be haughty in mind, but associate with the lowly. Do not be wise in your own estimation. 17 Never repay evil for evil to anyone. Respect what is right in the sight of all people. 18 If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all people."

We are never to compromise God's meaning to agree! We are to both seek Christ until the Holy Spirit tells us the same thing. When two people stop getting their doctrine from false teachers on the internet, then with humility, we can seek the Word of God, genuinely putting all self-will and pride aside to admit we believed something that was wrong and begin walking in wisdom.

 
Proverbs 28:25-26 "…25 A greedy man stirs up strife, but he who trusts in the LORD will prosper. 26 He who trusts in himself is a fool, but one who walks in wisdom will be safe."

There is more than one kind of greed; there is a greedy spirit that desires to be elevated above others, their greed is not for money but for status and superiority.
It is not possible to find the truth even by reading the Bible as long as this greed to be seen as superior to others remains in the heart.

 
Confess the greed for superiority, to be cleansed of it, that you can grow in wisdom. As long as one is driven to be superior and special, there can be no spiritual or emotional growth. Pride and arrogance destroy relationships not only with people but also with God.

 
Hebrews 12:13-15 "13 Make straight paths for your feet, so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed. 14Pursue peace with everyone, as well as holiness, without which no one will see the Lord. 15See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God, and that no root of bitterness springs up to cause trouble and defile many."

The Clay Pots Who Hate the Potter

The very clay pots, human beings, that God created because He loved them, rejected Him as though God did something wrong.

The narcissist is the same way as the clay pots, they hate those who love God, accusing them of the very things the narcissist is doing but they are not.

 
The more we stand strong in our dedication to Christ the more people will hate us. They will concoct all manner of lies to make us seem as the bad ones to take the focus off of their own evil behavior.

Satan goes before the throne of grace every day accusing the brethren. He even provokes them to sin and then accuses them before God that they sinned. The sin still remains on the one who did not resist the devil, but he is the trigger and gloats every time a believer fails in some way that he provoked.

This is why it is vitally important that we resist the devil when he uses our emotions to make us think we did wrong when we did right or that we did right when we did wrong.

 
James 4:6-8 "6 But He gives us more grace. This is why it says: “God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.” 7Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. 8Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded.…"

As long as there is any pride within us we are in danger of being pawns in the hands of the devil. When we are humble, thinking, and walking authentically in Christ the devil will not be able to cause us to fall.

 
The more we understand the ways of the devil the more we can see what he is doing and refuse to engage with those whom he uses.

 
1 Peter 5:8-9
"Be sober-minded and alert. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. / Resist him, standing firm in your faith and in the knowledge that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kinds of suffering."

It is a blessing to know that we are not alone in this spiritual battle. All other brothers and sisters in Christ are encountering it too and will understand.