When we are dead to our children while we still live, there is grief that cannot be compared to real death. When someone died loving us we grieve at the loss for a time.
But when we are considered dead when we still live then it would have been easier to lose someone to death who loved us than to lose them through contempt while they yet live.
Does this make sense to anyone else? We live in times of great turmoil in the family, irrational responses to simple life problems as well as raging anger over things that many years ago would have been shrugged or laughed off.
I am meeting and hearing about many grandparents who are being pushed out of their children's lives as well as out of their grandchildren's lives. The contempt the grown children have shown the grandparents has isolated them from their grandchildren.
These are tactics of a narcissistic generation! To punish the parents with isolation from their grandchildren because of their refusal to resolve a matter, is diabolical not to mention intensely selfish.
In the 70's we used to call that generation the "me" generation, now we have gone beyond just mere selfishness to revenge over things that would not warrant actions of revenge.
When attempts have been made to resolve small matters of disrespect and are met with worse accusation and punishment, we realize there is nothing we can do further to resolve problems. We live in a world that refuses to discuss anything unless the answer to the problem is that they get what they want without expectations.
There comes a time when we must leave these people to God and step away to get on with our lives. The pain of loss over the grandchildren will never completely go away, but it can be minimized by the realization that God knows all about it and our conscience is clear before Him.
Our walk in these last days of foolishness is not easy. We are bombarded constantly with contempt for our desire to follow Christ. When this happens we are comforted by the fact that one day this mess will all be dealt with, we will be home with Christ and all those other wonderful Christ loving believers. This must be our focus, otherwise our children and grandchildren become our idols. We love them, we grieve as Christ grieved over Jerusalem, and move on to those who do love Him.
2 Timothy 3:1-5
“Difficult Times Will Come”
3 But realize this, that in the last days difficult times will come.
2 For men will be lovers of self, lovers of money, boastful, arrogant, revilers, disobedient to parents, ungrateful, unholy,
3 unloving, irreconcilable, malicious gossips, without self-control, brutal, haters of good,
4 treacherous, reckless, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God,
5 holding to a form of godliness, although they have denied its power; Avoid such men as these."
Wednesday, June 5, 2019
Tuesday, June 4, 2019
Disordered Thinking of the Narcissist
Disordered thinking of the narcissist may include evaluations based on desired beliefs rather than truth.
If a narcissist treats someone with contempt because they don't like what you believe, they will consider it wise and with good reason. The narcissist counts themselves as attempting to show you right from wrong by intimidating and coercing you into submission to them.
However if we disagree with the narcissist they consider it contempt and a personal attack. We are a "bad person" for daring to have our own views.
The rational person who is trying to help shares their views out of concern and love. We do not attack the character of the person we correct, we simply share to help.
The narcissist demands, coerces and demeans to show the one who disagrees with them that they are inferior in character.
In one case the rational kind person wants to help, in the case of the narcissist he/she only wants to control you choosing to believe you are of questionable character for not agreeing with them.
This is why the narcissist comes unglued when corrected, they believe you are acting the way they act. They believe you are attacking because if they were correcting you they would be placing your character into serious question. The narcissist is attacking but the loving person is sharing to help.
Proverbs 12:14-16 …14 By fruitful speech a man will be filled with good things, and the work of a man’s hands will reward him. 15 The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to counsel. 16 A fool’s anger is known at once, but a prudent man overlooks an insult.…"
Proverbs 15:18
"18 A hot-tempered man stirs up strife,
But the slow to anger calms a dispute."
Proverbs 10:23 "23 A fool finds pleasure in wicked schemes, but a person of understanding delights in wisdom."
The narcissist is a fool, he searches for reasons to be angry with people when there is no reason. This kind of fool listens to no one, he never grows past infancy in his responses to challenges. Every thing he does is based on having his own way while expecting everyone else to bow to him. This narcissist bends to no one but demands that everyone bend to him.
We cannot help these kind of people since everything they say and do is based on elevating themselves they will not hear criticism that might help them grow a little more.
In our modern culture criticism is considered mean or rude. However in times past this word was considered a good word. Criticism was used to help one learn a better way. It was helpful and good to listen to criticism.
Criticism in the old way of thinking was the analyzing of a situation to correct errors or redirect a path that could be better. So many words like this have changed over the years to become known as bad things, but in fact in a culture of the past they were words that helped one grow in knowledge and wisdom.
Since evaluating anything has become forbidden in our culture we are seeing people who are middle age who have no more wisdom than they did when they were young. Sadly those who do not grow regress. When we are not moving forward we are moving backward.
The narcissist has spent a life time of resistance to instruction, correction or criticism leaving them in an emotionally infantile responses to life. A toddler gets angry and has tantrums when they are told no, much like the adult toddler who never learned to receive correction or discipline wisely.
Proverbs 15:18 "18“
":18 A hot-tempered man stirs up strife,
But the slow to anger calms a dispute."
Do we want to be mature and wise seniors or are we content to be children in adult bodies, we get to choose by the way we respond to God's commands and correction from those who walk with God?
If a narcissist treats someone with contempt because they don't like what you believe, they will consider it wise and with good reason. The narcissist counts themselves as attempting to show you right from wrong by intimidating and coercing you into submission to them.
However if we disagree with the narcissist they consider it contempt and a personal attack. We are a "bad person" for daring to have our own views.
The rational person who is trying to help shares their views out of concern and love. We do not attack the character of the person we correct, we simply share to help.
The narcissist demands, coerces and demeans to show the one who disagrees with them that they are inferior in character.
In one case the rational kind person wants to help, in the case of the narcissist he/she only wants to control you choosing to believe you are of questionable character for not agreeing with them.
This is why the narcissist comes unglued when corrected, they believe you are acting the way they act. They believe you are attacking because if they were correcting you they would be placing your character into serious question. The narcissist is attacking but the loving person is sharing to help.
Proverbs 12:14-16 …14 By fruitful speech a man will be filled with good things, and the work of a man’s hands will reward him. 15 The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to counsel. 16 A fool’s anger is known at once, but a prudent man overlooks an insult.…"
Proverbs 15:18
"18 A hot-tempered man stirs up strife,
But the slow to anger calms a dispute."
Proverbs 10:23 "23 A fool finds pleasure in wicked schemes, but a person of understanding delights in wisdom."
The narcissist is a fool, he searches for reasons to be angry with people when there is no reason. This kind of fool listens to no one, he never grows past infancy in his responses to challenges. Every thing he does is based on having his own way while expecting everyone else to bow to him. This narcissist bends to no one but demands that everyone bend to him.
We cannot help these kind of people since everything they say and do is based on elevating themselves they will not hear criticism that might help them grow a little more.
In our modern culture criticism is considered mean or rude. However in times past this word was considered a good word. Criticism was used to help one learn a better way. It was helpful and good to listen to criticism.
Criticism in the old way of thinking was the analyzing of a situation to correct errors or redirect a path that could be better. So many words like this have changed over the years to become known as bad things, but in fact in a culture of the past they were words that helped one grow in knowledge and wisdom.
Since evaluating anything has become forbidden in our culture we are seeing people who are middle age who have no more wisdom than they did when they were young. Sadly those who do not grow regress. When we are not moving forward we are moving backward.
The narcissist has spent a life time of resistance to instruction, correction or criticism leaving them in an emotionally infantile responses to life. A toddler gets angry and has tantrums when they are told no, much like the adult toddler who never learned to receive correction or discipline wisely.
Proverbs 15:18 "18“
":18 A hot-tempered man stirs up strife,
But the slow to anger calms a dispute."
Do we want to be mature and wise seniors or are we content to be children in adult bodies, we get to choose by the way we respond to God's commands and correction from those who walk with God?
Christ Destroyed the Works of the Devil
The love of the narcissist is tantamount to hate. When someone loves themselves so much they are willing to trample on another person to feel elevated, this is the worst kind of hatred. The devil did this in heaven wishing to be above God He not only raged against God he took many legions of angels with him.
Satan is the ultimate narcissist, his desire for self glory took him to a place of total denial of anyone but himself. When he could not win against God he determined to take as many angels and humans with him who would hate God too!
Did he think for one moment what would happen to the legions that followed him, no and it didn't matter to him as long as he had a following. The angels that now follow Satan are now devils and will be going to hell for eternity.
This is how narcissists react to the strong person who will not be moved by their antics. When the narcissist cannot control us they will attempt to manipulate how others view us. They will enlist others by their gossip and false accusations. The same thing the devil did with the legions of angels who followed him. It didn't matter to the devil what the consequences would be, in fact he very likely thought he could win against God with his armies of created beings.
Their hatred and antics have no boundaries. They cannot tolerate believers who stand by the Word of God. They will accuse the believers of things the narcissist is doing and the believer is not. They will use half truths and out and out lies to diminish the witness and resolve of the born again believer.
Revelation 12:9-11
"9 And the great dragon was thrown down, the serpent of old who is called the devil and Satan, who deceives the whole world; he was thrown down to the earth, and his angels were thrown down with him.
10 Then I heard a loud voice in heaven, saying,
“Now the salvation, and the power, and the kingdom of our God and the authority of His Christ have come, for the accuser of our brethren has been thrown down, he who accuses them before our God day and night.
11 And they overcame him because of the blood of the Lamb and because of the word of their testimony, and they did not love their life even [b]when faced with death."
The brethren "overcame" because of the blood of the Lamb", not that the brethren were now more comfortable in their sin, but that they now had the power to overcome the devil and his angels by the power of Christ.
Satan is the accuser of the brethren. He continually goes to the throne of heaven to accuse those who belong to Christ. Satan is the monstrous liar who will do the very things he accuses others of doing.
The devil will even attempt to make believers think they were wrong in doing what was right in God's eyes. He will sling accusations such as "your judging", or "your mean spirited", when we speak of God's standards and truths.
This is the tactic of the narcissist, the narcissist is controlled by the devil. When the narcissist thinks they have an accusation against someone that is only their own idea, it will be coming from the father of lies, the devil.
When we know our enemy and his tactics we can remain joyful and powerful as Christ works in us to thwart the devil's plans.
1 John 3:8
"the one who practices sin is of the devil; for the devil has sinned from the beginning The Son of God appeared for this purpose, to destroy the works of the devil."
Hebrews 2:14-15
"Therefore, since the children share in flesh and blood, He Himself likewise also partook of the same, that through death He might render powerless him who had the power of death, that is, the devil, and might free those who through fear of death were subject to slavery all their lives."
Satan is the ultimate narcissist, his desire for self glory took him to a place of total denial of anyone but himself. When he could not win against God he determined to take as many angels and humans with him who would hate God too!
Did he think for one moment what would happen to the legions that followed him, no and it didn't matter to him as long as he had a following. The angels that now follow Satan are now devils and will be going to hell for eternity.
This is how narcissists react to the strong person who will not be moved by their antics. When the narcissist cannot control us they will attempt to manipulate how others view us. They will enlist others by their gossip and false accusations. The same thing the devil did with the legions of angels who followed him. It didn't matter to the devil what the consequences would be, in fact he very likely thought he could win against God with his armies of created beings.
Their hatred and antics have no boundaries. They cannot tolerate believers who stand by the Word of God. They will accuse the believers of things the narcissist is doing and the believer is not. They will use half truths and out and out lies to diminish the witness and resolve of the born again believer.
Revelation 12:9-11
"9 And the great dragon was thrown down, the serpent of old who is called the devil and Satan, who deceives the whole world; he was thrown down to the earth, and his angels were thrown down with him.
10 Then I heard a loud voice in heaven, saying,
“Now the salvation, and the power, and the kingdom of our God and the authority of His Christ have come, for the accuser of our brethren has been thrown down, he who accuses them before our God day and night.
11 And they overcame him because of the blood of the Lamb and because of the word of their testimony, and they did not love their life even [b]when faced with death."
The brethren "overcame" because of the blood of the Lamb", not that the brethren were now more comfortable in their sin, but that they now had the power to overcome the devil and his angels by the power of Christ.
Satan is the accuser of the brethren. He continually goes to the throne of heaven to accuse those who belong to Christ. Satan is the monstrous liar who will do the very things he accuses others of doing.
The devil will even attempt to make believers think they were wrong in doing what was right in God's eyes. He will sling accusations such as "your judging", or "your mean spirited", when we speak of God's standards and truths.
This is the tactic of the narcissist, the narcissist is controlled by the devil. When the narcissist thinks they have an accusation against someone that is only their own idea, it will be coming from the father of lies, the devil.
When we know our enemy and his tactics we can remain joyful and powerful as Christ works in us to thwart the devil's plans.
1 John 3:8
"the one who practices sin is of the devil; for the devil has sinned from the beginning The Son of God appeared for this purpose, to destroy the works of the devil."
Hebrews 2:14-15
"Therefore, since the children share in flesh and blood, He Himself likewise also partook of the same, that through death He might render powerless him who had the power of death, that is, the devil, and might free those who through fear of death were subject to slavery all their lives."
They Perverted the Rainbow
Interesting isn't it, the first rainbow was a promise to the world of no more flooding, but is now being used to justify the sinners who practiced homosexuality, the very reason God sent the flood to destroy the world. Satan is the father of lies and works to mock anything that belongs to God.
At the end of every culture is the sin of homosexuality. This is the point at which God says to us "enough is enough", the sin is to the point of abomination, then is when He destroys those societies.
At the end of every culture is the sin of homosexuality. This is the point at which God says to us "enough is enough", the sin is to the point of abomination, then is when He destroys those societies.
2 Timothy 3 Difficult Times
We are living in difficult times. Especially difficult for those who love and follow Jesus Christ.
We live among "Christians" who think the Bible is a book of suggestions, some good and some to ignore. They become angry when the principles of the Bible are brought to bare on any conversation but call themselves "Bible believing" Christians.
We have no right to call ourselves Bible believing if we negate any part of God's Word. Not all of the Bible was written to us, but all of it was written for us.
When God presents a principle in His Word we can count on it as a direction and command to us. The old testament commands about food were given to the Jews before the death of Christ, after He came He gave a new directive about food. The old testament directives were finished and the new directive is clearly presented in the New Testament, the time of the church.
"The New Testament is hidden in the Old and the Old is revealed in the new."
We do not do all the practices of the Jews but the reason for those practices are revealed and bring us good lessons about our relationship with Christ as well as other human beings.
It is clear that the end times bring with it a staunch rebellion against God and all His principles. Many people in churches today are cherry picking which verses they wish to follow and negating the ones they do not like.
When an authentic Bible believer comes along to bring to bear ALL principles from God's Word as valid and all practices of the New Testament remain commands, they are ignored, mocked and isolated from those who wish to "do what is right in their own eyes."
Much of scripture is twisted to justify sin as well as even celebrate it. One of the most monstrous doctrines of our day is hyper-grace in which it is taught that God no longer hates sin, its really no big deal, we just place it under the blood and all is good.
This monstrous belief in hyper-grace has trampled on the terrible sacrifice of the cross and the shedding of the blood of Jesus Christ.
Romans 6:1-2 "1 What then shall we say? Shall we continue in sin so that grace may increase? 2 Certainly not! How can we who died to sin live in it any longer?…"
What part of "certainly not" do the presumptuous types not understand. Christ did not die on that horrid death on the cross to make it more comfortable to sin. He died to do away with sin. He died that we might live free of sin. If we fall then He provided an advocate for us and the way of confession to be cleansed of our sin.
1 John 1:9 "9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."
God hates sin so much that it required the killing of the innocent Lamb of God. How then can so many who claim to be Christian take sin so lightly as to excuse it as being under grace.
Those who obey the command to love God with all their heart, soul and mind, hate sin as much as God does. Sin will not be ignored by these who love Him, it will be dealt with in order to bring the sinner to confession to be cleansed.
Never be intimidated by those who call us unloving because we speak truth to help others learn to walk circumspectly (carefully looking around, watchful and alert) with God.
When I looked up the definition of "circumspect" I realized it had far more to do with being alert, discreet and watchful than it did with merely being upright.
When we realize the depth of circumspection it leaves us astonished at how superficially words have been interpreted in our day.
As born again believers we ought to be growing deeper in our wisdom as we question all things, evaluate all things and hold fast to the truth of those things God shows us.
The world will be angry that we want to go deeper, they love their superficiality, its less work to be ignorant. When we find ourselves ignorant about a spiritual matter we ought to desire to know the depth of the truth.
Be warned that we are surrounded by people who do not appreciate depth to become wiser. They will not encourage us or involve themselves with our quest to learn God's truth. Thankfully we have the Holy Spirit and will not be without companionship even if no people are in the room, we will always have Christ.
What a blessing when we do meet others who love to question and evaluate all things according to God's Word and through prayer.
John 16:12-14 "…12 I still have much to tell you, but you cannot yet bear to hear it. 13 However, when the Spirit of truth comes, He will guide you into all truth. For He will not speak on His own, but He will speak what He hears, and He will declare to you what is to come. 14 He will glorify Me by taking from what is Mine and disclosing it to you."
Hallelujah!!!!
We live among "Christians" who think the Bible is a book of suggestions, some good and some to ignore. They become angry when the principles of the Bible are brought to bare on any conversation but call themselves "Bible believing" Christians.
We have no right to call ourselves Bible believing if we negate any part of God's Word. Not all of the Bible was written to us, but all of it was written for us.
When God presents a principle in His Word we can count on it as a direction and command to us. The old testament commands about food were given to the Jews before the death of Christ, after He came He gave a new directive about food. The old testament directives were finished and the new directive is clearly presented in the New Testament, the time of the church.
"The New Testament is hidden in the Old and the Old is revealed in the new."
We do not do all the practices of the Jews but the reason for those practices are revealed and bring us good lessons about our relationship with Christ as well as other human beings.
It is clear that the end times bring with it a staunch rebellion against God and all His principles. Many people in churches today are cherry picking which verses they wish to follow and negating the ones they do not like.
When an authentic Bible believer comes along to bring to bear ALL principles from God's Word as valid and all practices of the New Testament remain commands, they are ignored, mocked and isolated from those who wish to "do what is right in their own eyes."
Much of scripture is twisted to justify sin as well as even celebrate it. One of the most monstrous doctrines of our day is hyper-grace in which it is taught that God no longer hates sin, its really no big deal, we just place it under the blood and all is good.
This monstrous belief in hyper-grace has trampled on the terrible sacrifice of the cross and the shedding of the blood of Jesus Christ.
Romans 6:1-2 "1 What then shall we say? Shall we continue in sin so that grace may increase? 2 Certainly not! How can we who died to sin live in it any longer?…"
What part of "certainly not" do the presumptuous types not understand. Christ did not die on that horrid death on the cross to make it more comfortable to sin. He died to do away with sin. He died that we might live free of sin. If we fall then He provided an advocate for us and the way of confession to be cleansed of our sin.
1 John 1:9 "9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."
God hates sin so much that it required the killing of the innocent Lamb of God. How then can so many who claim to be Christian take sin so lightly as to excuse it as being under grace.
Those who obey the command to love God with all their heart, soul and mind, hate sin as much as God does. Sin will not be ignored by these who love Him, it will be dealt with in order to bring the sinner to confession to be cleansed.
Never be intimidated by those who call us unloving because we speak truth to help others learn to walk circumspectly (carefully looking around, watchful and alert) with God.
When I looked up the definition of "circumspect" I realized it had far more to do with being alert, discreet and watchful than it did with merely being upright.
When we realize the depth of circumspection it leaves us astonished at how superficially words have been interpreted in our day.
As born again believers we ought to be growing deeper in our wisdom as we question all things, evaluate all things and hold fast to the truth of those things God shows us.
The world will be angry that we want to go deeper, they love their superficiality, its less work to be ignorant. When we find ourselves ignorant about a spiritual matter we ought to desire to know the depth of the truth.
Be warned that we are surrounded by people who do not appreciate depth to become wiser. They will not encourage us or involve themselves with our quest to learn God's truth. Thankfully we have the Holy Spirit and will not be without companionship even if no people are in the room, we will always have Christ.
What a blessing when we do meet others who love to question and evaluate all things according to God's Word and through prayer.
John 16:12-14 "…12 I still have much to tell you, but you cannot yet bear to hear it. 13 However, when the Spirit of truth comes, He will guide you into all truth. For He will not speak on His own, but He will speak what He hears, and He will declare to you what is to come. 14 He will glorify Me by taking from what is Mine and disclosing it to you."
Hallelujah!!!!
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