Don't Walk on Eggshells, Walk in Christ

When a narcissist says they have to walk around on eggshells around you they are telling you what you have to do around them.

Narcissists always accuse others of what the narcissist is doing and the others are not, they accept only total agreement with them for you to be seen as smart and of value to them.

As I was growing up I always hated that the narcissists in my life were completely unreasonable in any discussion with them. In fact, there was never a discussion, there was only their raging and demanding and my attempt to get them to listen but they never would.

Because of my experience with unreasonable narcissists, I wanted my life to be different when I left that system of controlling narcissists. I wanted to be able to discuss things with others in calm ways expecting both parties to be able to engage lovingly without anger. This was never possible in my family of origin. If there was disagreement even on the smallest level there would always be blunt and snarky responses to demean the one who differed from them, having their own ideas.

Never was there a discussion in which both parties were treated with respect and valued as being someone who might have some points the narcissist never thought of.

It was this way because the narcissist was hell-bent on appearing perfectly right all the time. Any challenge to their assertions was met with total contempt. Any attempt on the part of the one who disagreed was met with cannon fire, never with contemplative allowance for differences.

A narcissist is a deeply insecure person who cannot feel of value unless they are being elevated above others. They are not able to feel secure without the complete validation of those in their sphere. Sadly they interpret their insecurity as confidence but it is just the opposite, it is self-effacing, since it reveals their insecurity with every occurrence of anger and rage.

These narcissistic traits of insecurity and self-devaluing used to aggravate me but as I grew in knowledge and wisdom I realized what it was and feel pity for those who think the only way to be of value is to demean, mock and dismiss others they wish to feel superior toward.

Remember too, the narcissist knows what they are doing because they only do it to those they wish to believe are inferior to them. They never treat those they elevate as superior to them in these ways. They hide their real selves from those they wish to impress.

If the narcissist knows their target understands them and is not intimidated by them they will avoid them and turn their attention toward gossiping about them in order to cause others to treat the target the same way the narcissist treated them.

We know this is not entirely the narcississt but rather the devil working in the narcissist to believe the target deserves it for a reason no one could discover or calculate.

The devil did this in the garden with Eve. Eve had no reason to distrust or dislike God but she was easily convinced by the snake that God was withholding something from her that she would like to have. He convinced her that God was doing something wrong or unkind and this was reason enough to completely disregard Him.

The devil has been doing the same things the narcissist does from the beginning of the existence of mankind. He couldn't find a reason to hate man but was so jealous of them that he had to convince those God loved to hate God.

This is also why when we do kind acts for narcissists they find a reason why it was foolish or there was an ulterior motive to do the kind act allowing them to hate their target without good reason.

If you are a target of the narcissist it won't matter what you say or do that is good, the narcissist will find a reason to negate it, diminish its meaning or gossip to make others believe you were foolish for it.

What a blessing to know that we can walk with God realizing that we are targets of the devil but unaffected by his tactics. The most satisfying thing for the devil and his minion the narcissist is to cause us to react in frustration to what they do to us. This is why God told us not to respond to their capers.

He said to respond the opposite of what they expect, with calmness, unfettered confidence and godly resolve to remain kind and loving even if they do not. We can show them the respect they did not show us, however, this does not mean we will remain their friend or companion. God also tells us to remove ourselves from angry people who cause trouble.

Luke 6:27-28 "27But to those of you who will listen, I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 28bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you."

Proverbs 22:24 "

"Do not make friends with a person given to anger, Or go with a hot-tempered person,"

God has given us good guidelines for dealing with those who will not obey the word of God concerning love, joy, peace, gentleness, kindness, and self-control. Those who spurn all these godly traits cannot be our companions in life.

May the Holy Spirit and God's Word guide us all in the decisions we must make to remain faithful to Christ. Let's not become like those who hate God by using their same schemes that are motivated by the wicked heart of the devil.

What they do is on them, what we do is on us!!!